Monday, October 19, 2009

Happy Evaluate Your Life Day!

Wow, this day seems a little heavy. But I think I actually celebrated this around January 31st of this year if I am not mistaken... Oh, who cares, I have a GREAT life! I wouldn't change a thing about it. Well, actually I would go back in time and learn how to correctly style my hair for grades 3-12, but other than that, I am good :)

And speaking of evaluating things, here are some actual quotes taken from Federal Government Employee Performance Evaluations. Enjoy!

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

6. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

7. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."

8. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

9. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

10. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

11. "He's been working with glue too much."

12. "He would argue with a signpost."

13. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

14. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

15. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

16. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

17. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week ."

18. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

19. "This employee should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better."

20. "Will stick with us until retirement, unless we do something first."

21. "Needs more to do. Might I be so bold as to suggest looking for a job."

22. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

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