Saturday, March 31, 2012
*One highlight of the night I want to mention was Luke falling asleep during the video presentation and then snoring like a chainsaw during the closing prayer. (In his defense he did wake me up at 4:18 that morning telling me about the bad dream he had, so it was pretty much inevitable he would crash at some point...)
If Cindy ever went on trial being accused of being the luckiest girl in the world, this photo would be Exhibit A and the only piece of evidence needed to convict her.
After the baptism Cindy did get to have her friend Maddie over a for a night swim at Grandma Sweeney's. (We actually just wanted to keep Karl and DeAnne up real late so they would be totally wasted for their flight to Utah very early the next morning. That's what grandkids are for, right?)
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
TOP TEN SURPRISES FOUND IN OBAMACARE:
10. Obama's chief medical advisers were Drs. Pepper, Scholl and Seuss
9. All physicals would be required to be done in groups of 4
8. Only treatment allowed for strep throat is Popsicles
7. The 35 stanza rap by Pitbull on page 1255
6. Strangely, it doesn't correctly classify Liberalism as a horrific disease
5. Hospital coverage doubles when patient is wearing a hoodie
4. Little-known provision to raise an extra 13 billion dollars by charging a penny for every time someone says "this sucks"
3. All anesthesia would be replaced with DVDs of speeches by Joe Biden
2. KFC required to release their secret recipe
1. Everything in it
Good times :) Thanks Dad and Dave!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
And by the way, this cat is exactly what my cat Yoshi has turned into. And I don't even try to water her or put her in fancy water repellent jackets, so what's up with the attitude, huh?
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
TOP TWELVE WAYS HOME DEPOT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF IT WERE RUN BY RACCOONS:
(Okay, that topic probably caught you a little off-guard, so I will explain. The other night I was at a McDonald's right next to a Home Depot, and while I was sitting there, Cindy spotted a raccoon lurking around the garden department. And then this top ten list was born :)
TOP TWELVE WAYS HOME DEPOT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF IT WERE RUN BY RACCOONS:
12. All merchandise displayed on picnic tables
11. Free rabies shot with any purchase over $300
10. Store no longer sells coolers
9. Mission statement now includes phrase, "The customer is always right (Unless he has an attitude and then you can claw his eyes out.)"
8. Customer service would improve 13%
7. Break room and dumpster would be combined into one convenient location
6. Store now only open between the hours of midnight and 4 in the morning
5. All garbage cans no longer sold with lids
4. They can recommend the best chimney based on price, durability and number of viable escape options
3. All orange vests replaced with orange masks
2. Employee of the month is always a guy named Bandit
1. More sneaking, More stealing. That's the Power of the Home Depot.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
As we were leaving Port Canaveral, I was:
a. reveling at how glamorous I am
b. flaunting my amazing hair
c. having Jacob think it was hysterical to take pictures of me when I was completely not ready
This chair underneath muster station number 8 is where:
a. I sat for three hours trying not to throw up from being seasick on Friday night
b. I met my drunk Indian boyfriend
c. both a and b
My choice for breakfast the next day shows:
a. Just how much I love cereal
b. That I had happily recovered from my seasickness and was feeling hungry
c. I am a logical human being with reasonable limits
Jacob's choice of breakfast food the next day proves:
(yes, miso soup with seaweed)
a. he accidentally went to breakfast in the Japanese restaurant
b. he apparently had not eaten in 3 weeks and would therefore eat anything
c. he's mentally unstable
As we came in to the port in Nassau I was thinking:
a. I'm living in the wrong place
b. The water is SO BLUE!!
c. I wonder if anyone would notice if I accidentally missed the boat and never came home...
Jacob was thinking....
a. Wow, Nassau is pretty cool looking
b. I can't believe I'm not in America anymore!
c. How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over that island...
These signs on the Nassau #10 jitney/bus:
a. show that Bahamians have a good sense of humor
b. show that Bahamians have some very bad habits
c. inspired Jacob to make new signs for his classroom
I saw this shop:
a. In Geneva
b. In Zurich
c. In downtown Nassau.....which makes perfect sense
I chose to visit this zoo while in Nassau because:
a. It was highly rated on tripAdvisor.com
b. I wanted to feed apple slices to parrots right out of my hand
c. Jacob and I wanted to walk through a neighborhood down a long street in a foreign country and feel like we could be mugged at any moment because there was not a soul around for miles
Jacob took this picture:
a. to show that I am good with birds
b. to prove that I wear that green shirt all the time
c. as an excuse for me to show off my guns
Jacob finally got a parrot to land on him by:
a. holding the apple up in the air instead of flat on his hand
b. threatening the bird's family
c. using The Force
On a scale of one to ten expressing enjoyment, Jacob looks like he was where on the scale when taking this picture?
c. a number so low mathematicians have not yet calculated it
The best part about standing in the ocean was:
a. I was on foreign sand for the first time in my life
b. the water was cool and refreshing
c. It put a good 50 yards between us and most of the crazy weirdos on the beach
In this picture Jacob is eating:
I got to steer the ship for the captain because:
a. he was busy judging the belly flop contest at the pool
b. he knows I watch a lot of SpongeBob Squarepants and am totally qualified
c. he left the wheel unattended and so what was I supposed to do, hmm?
The view of the inside of the ship looking down from deck 9 shows:
a. they really love stairs
b. they really love brass
c. they really love any opportunity to make more money off you
This towel animal that was carefully crafted and then left hanging from our ceiling in our room from housekeeping had which effect on me:
a. made me smile
b. made me laugh
c. scared the crap out of me when I went down to the room by myself and Jacob did not warn me ahead of time
I am showing you this picture of our room solely for the purpose of:
a. showing you how neat and tidy Jacob and I are when we travel
b. educating you on what a handicap accessible room looks like on a cruise ship
c. making Kelly and Brian crazy jealous because our room had a COUCH!!!
OK, just one more of our bathroom for Bri and Kell :)
Jacob wanted to make it to the top of the rock wall:
a. to get a great view of the ocean
b. to see how Obama feels (you know, always looking down at people)
c. to ring the bell to show he got great service at Long John Silver's
After taking this cruise with Jacob I realize:
a. I love Jacob and he is a good sport
b. I definitely want to take another cruise
c. P90X Round 2 Starts Monday :)
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
TOP ELEVEN THINGS I LEARNED ON MY CRUISE:
11. There are some very, VERY unfortunate tattoos in this world.
10. While there are many women in this world that would not dare put on a bikini in public in their present physical condition, there is another very, very LARGE majority of women who apparently don't care. At all.
9. There is a law irrevocably decreed in heaven that you cannot work on a cruise ship and be a white American.
8. The long lost twin of everyone you know can be found on a cruise ship (For example, I saw the twin of Brooke Towns, Christina Spafford, of my college roommate Jen, Moe the bartender from The Simpsons and Natalie from The Facts of Life
7. Be nice to all cruise ship employees. The bouncer at the club could later be your waiter at dinner and then the guy fastening your harness on the rock wall and then working the front desk, or the guy playing the drums in the calypso band by the pool at sunset. You can't escape them.
6. It is utterly shocking that Budweiser has not built their own cruise ship by now. It seems like a no-brainer.
5. The guy who invented Dramamine should have his own postage stamp or at least a golden bust at every pharmacy. He completely saved my vacation!
4. If the magical Internet offers you the option of a handicap accessible room when booking a cruise- TAKE IT! The cruise Gods are smiling on you.
3. Drunk guys will still hit on girls who tell them they are married and celebrating their 11th anniversary on the cruise with their husband
2. The national bird of the Bahamas is the Flamingo, even though it is not native to the country. What? I enjoy a good fun fact just as much as anyone.
1. Jacob enjoyed this cruise an additional 29% simply by the fact that all the ship lingo and jargon mirrored that of the Star Trek Enterprise. (Captain, quarters, engineering, decks, bridge, docking, registry, being chased by the Romulans out of the delta quadrant using evasive maneuvers...) We were disappointed however that there was no actual red alert system :( Just a goofy tone that sounded like the captain was going to tell you to put on your seat belt. Sigh....
We even found Ten Forward! Nice work Ensign Sweeney :)
Monday, March 12, 2012
So actually over the weekend, I FINALLY went on a cruise :) Jacob and I took the plunge and left on Friday to the Bahamas. I didn't really tell anyone about this; I kinda wanted to be off the map for a few days (and that part was amazing!). We just got back this morning and I think I might need a few days to get rid of the rocking back and forth feeling. A full write-up will be coming soon (featuring the limited pictures I managed to take) if you care to see what it was like, but in the mean time, I have to go run 71 miles to work off all the food I ate...
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
(P.S. I don't own any of these pictures or the artwork, they came directly from www.bustedtees.com and if you visit the site, proceed with caution, not everything is clean...)