Friday, September 30, 2011

Is it Friday again?

Wow, time is really a blur right now. It's been over three days since I last blogged so I must have been on my death bed or in prison or had jury duty or something, right? Actually, I think I can sum up what I have been doing for the past week in one sentence: Trying to stop sweating. This quest started in third grade when we moved to Lakeland and I have been trying to accomplish this feat every day since then. Total failure. However, we are getting a "cold front" tonight and I don't mean to brag, but our high will be 83 on Sunday with a low of 64. Do you hear what I'm saying?! I could be in capris! While I wait for that glorious occurrence, here is my...


Today I took my mom to chemo treatment #9. She only has 12 total, so we are getting closer all the time! Hallelujah! They give my mom a ton of Benadryl at these treatments, which pretty much means a sweet 2-hour coma while the medicine drips. However, Mom did tell me today that she was able to come out of her coma just for a few minutes because she smelled the cookies that the candy striper was bringing around. Yes, I just used the phrase candy striper. And yes, that is how powerful cookies can be.

Grandma saved a cookie just for Luke :) I had to track down my own. Thanks a lot, Mom! Just kidding!! I always can get my hands on one. I'm sort of an expert at that.

Tuesday afternoon Cindy came home with a "fishtail" braid in her hair. The high school intern that helps in Cindy's class (that also happens to be on Jacob's soccer team) had put it in Cindy's hair. Cindy told me the next morning to put another fishtail braid in. I told her I didn't know how and tough luck. Ha ha on her! So what does she do? Pulls up a how-to video on YouTube video all by herself and tells me to watch it. Ha ha on me! So at 6:45am I was watching a video and doing my first fishtail braid. Which turned out like this:

Not bad, eh?

This week I signed up Luke for gymnastics. Since Cindy and Jacob have soccer to completely run their lives, Luke needs his own extra-curricular activity to keep him excited about life. And by "excited about life" I really mean "not watching Netflix all day." I took him to the free class on Tuesday night, and while getting him to actually let go of me and be part of the class was kind of like removing a giant, crying, eight-tentacled squid from the outside of a submarine, eventually, he got over his fears and had the time of his life on the long, running trampoline and hanging on the rings. Olympics here we come! (You know, to watch on TV...)

This week Publix supermarkets just came out with a new Apple Pie ice cream. I bought it tonight for Jacob and I will of course let you know how it is. It has to be good though, it comes with pieces of crust!

I have been hard at work getting Cindy's Princess Leia costume ready for Halloween. She has been hard at work growing her hair all summer, so we will see if she can pull off the buns all own her own. If not, I have two bear claw pastries I bought at the day old bread store just waiting to help out.

And speaking of Star Wars, tomorrow I am taking the kids to a Sci-fi exhibit over in Tampa that is going to feature a parade and photo ops with, among others, Stormtroopers and Darth Vader. Stay tuned for amazing video of Luke's eyes popping out of his head and shattering on the ground in a million tiny pieces. Actually, I am WAY excited about this too. It's going to be blog-tacular!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Don't Get Your Hoops Up

Over the weekend I went with Jacob and his girls soccer team to watch the semi-pro FC Tampa Bay take on the Ft. Lauderdale Strykers. I always kinda sorta knew that Tampa had a semi-pro soccer team, but I never really thought about going to see them. We had a good time and Tampa won the game 2-0. It was fun to go and see another sporting event taking place in our own backyard. However, there is one thing I need to address and that is concerning the mascot of FC Tampa Bay. They officially have the WORST mascot I have ever seen. Behold!

Oh, dear. It's giant tube sock named Hoops. Because that makes perfect sense, right? On the one hand, I get it; FC Tampa Bay doesn't have any sort of mascot name even in its title. They aren't called the Storm, or the Lions or anything that even remotely gives us something to work with. We're flying blind. But a sock?! Named "Hoops"? Really? And you know what is even worse? This picture is one I got off the Internet and probably right after the sock got back from the mascot dry cleaning store. The sock I saw in person was not this clean. In fact, it was disgusting. The top of the sock was folding over, the toe part was starting to get almost black from all the dirt. I mean, if they were going for authentic, then yes, they nailed it. It looked like a nasty soccer sock from after a tough game. But really it just looked sad. So Jacob, please use your Marketing degree and come up with something better than this. Here's a hint: ANYTHING will work.

Friday, September 23, 2011

A Luke Quickie

Today when I picked up Luke from preschool he said, "Mom, today was the best day ever in my whole entire life!!!" When I asked him why he said, "Our teacher read us that book about the cat falling in the toilet!" I am seriously rethinking my idea of writing children's books...

****BIG NEWS, everyone! I have figured out something that will amuse all of us in the month of November. Can't let cat out of the bag now, but just letting you know that you will be visiting Sweeneyville every day up until Thanksgiving. And I ain't blogging about no stinkin' recipes!

Oh, and if you were wondering which book talks about a cat falling in the toilet- it's Cookie's Week by Cindy Ward.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


Well, Cindy has now had her cast off for almost a week. I thought getting the cast off would be this extremely happy and liberating experience, but once again it turned out to be very traumatic. I guess after having a cast on for 6 weeks you don't really trust your arm right away. She cried her eyes out all through the x-ray and didn't want to let get of her arm even by the time we got home and into bed. She even got so worked up about things that she was dry heaving into the sink in the doctor's office. Another classic parenting moment, thank you, Cindy. Anyway, she is supposed to wear a brace for 2 weeks, but just as expected, she has already started to forget all about it :)

And yesterday Cindy finally reunited herself with Grandma's pool :)

That girl is such a fish I can't believe we survived SIX WHOLE WEEKS without swimming! That is something I never want to experience again.

And Luke reunited himself with a giant ice cream bar :)

And I just learned that if you click on the above pictures, it enlarges them and puts them in this Facebook-ish album, click-through thingy. (Actual name) COOL!

Monday, September 19, 2011

In Honor

Of National Talk Like a Pirate Day, I will be wearing this:

And Jacob will be wearing this:

Cindy will be in this:

And Luke will wear this one:

He doesn't care about pirates. At all.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

I think I need this bag

Remember last year when BYU was barely ever on TV and all us fans far away from Provo never got to see the Cougars play? Ahhh, those were the days :)

Can the BYU football team PLEASE stop making me have to use this picture? PLEASE!?!! Oh, and while they're at it could they also learn how to tackle? And oh, learn to not give the ball away like a bad chain letter, oh and also remember that the second half of the game counts too?

Oh well, I guess BYU can't be the best at everything. It wouldn't be fair. But this only leaves me to respond with the one thing I am good at: Top Tens. Sure, I could go with something easy like "Top Ten Things That are Still Better than Being a Ute", you know, things like being hit by a car, only having one eye, living in Ethiopia, being related to Rosie O'Donnell, etc. But instead of phoning it in and ultimately having to write a Top 1,000 list, which I really don't have time for right now, I will make it a little more challenging.

Apparently the slogan for BYU Football for 2011 is "Rise Up". Hmm, that might need some tweaking. Drum roll, please....


10. Show Up
9. We're Fumble-riffic!
8. Come for the football, stay for the spectacular 2nd half spirit-crushing defensive implosion
7. No one works harder to beat us than we do
6. Where winners come to sit and watch us play
5. No Jimmer, but we got a kid named Hebron
4. Actually scientists have found Cougars to be quite docile animals
3. Conveniently located 38 miles south of Outer Darkness
2. We're just here for the exercise
1. No matter how bad it gets, it's still better than being a Ute :)

Saturday, September 17, 2011

I think we need this flag

However, since this is my blog and it's my right to exercise extreme unrighteous dominion....

In your face, Utah!! GO COUGARS!!!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Jiffy is Spiffy

Normally I don't devote a lot of time on this blog gushing over companies that I like. Because honestly it's not very often that you have a good enough experience somewhere that even merits mentioning. Usually really good customer service makes me feel like I am in the Twilight Zone asking, "Is this real?" But I just have to tell you about something that happened yesterday. Jiffy Lube is listed down in the corner of this blog under "THINGS I WISH I COULD MARRY" and after yesterday, I think I now want to have children with Jiffy Lube. I am not sure if your local Jiffy Lube is as excellent as mine, but when I go there I seriously feel like a rock star. I went in yesterday in between oil changes because they will top off all your fluids and check your tires, etc. for free. I noticed I needed some power steering fluid so I stopped in real quick. They were sooooo nice and polite, they walked me to the waiting room, held the door open, offered me coffee and magazines while I waited, etc. Awesome, right? But then it only took them about 10 minutes to spot vacuum my car, wash the windshield, inflate all my tires, give me new power steering fluid, washer fluid and do it all without once acting annoyed, put out or inconveniced. They seriously made it seem like they LIKED that I was there. Even more awesome, right? But wait, my little friend, there is more! When they drove Rocket out for me, the guy got out a little rolled up red carpet and right before I stepped into the car he rolled it out for me. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM TELLING YOU???! He literally rolled out the red carpet for me!!! I was speechless. And pretty much became a customer for life after that. So what I want to know is am I alone in my experiences? Are there are any other companies like this out there that you guys have run into? Please share. I am dying to know where else can make me feel like Jiffy Lube. And that sentence was officially the creepiest thing I have ever typed on this blog.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

A Family Quickie

Cindy: I love you a million!

Dad: I love you 10 million!

Cindy: I love you a million times a million!

Dad: I love you infinity!

Cindy: I love you two infinity!

Mom: Well, I love you two infinity and beyond :)

Sunday, September 11, 2011

3,652 Days Ago

First, I just want to say that I acknowledge that today is the 10th Anniversary of 9/11. There is nothing really that I could say that would be any more moving or eloquent than others have already said. Just for the sake of writing it down, I was riding in the car to work with Jacob down I-15 in Utah when we heard Bob Lonsberry on 1160AM say that there were reports of a "small commuter jet" hitting one of the World Trade Center towers. By the time I got to work and near a television we sadly knew that that initial report was not accurate. The rest of that day was horrible. I honestly don't like remembering it. I literally get knots in my stomach when I let myself think about sitting upstairs in the work conference room watching the towers fall on live television. And what is most weird to me is that Cindy was not born when that happened. Life before her is mostly a blur, but this one memory is absolutely crystal clear. I love this country with all my heart and hope we never experience anything even close that ever again.

Anyway, on that somber note, who wants to talk about cereal???!!

As a public service to both my readers, I have volunteered myself to be the canary in the coal mine. Anytime there is a new chocolate cereal I will try it out first and give you my full review. Plus, the New Chocolate Cap'n Crunch cereal happened to be BOGO two weeks ago so it was obviously meant to be.

I will be rating the cereal on a scale of one to ten, with a break down of the exact criteria so you know what I am looking for. I should mention that all Chocolate cereals begin with an automatic 5 points. It is owed to them just for existing.

Chocolate Cap'n Crunch Total Score: 6
Chocolateyness: Not so much :(
Texture: Just as hearty as regular CC, but you gotta eat quick! Those Soggies come at you pretty fast.
Milk aftermath: Didn't really want to drink the milk, which is some sort of crime against dairy, if I recall

I was really hoping that this cereal was going to be better, but I just wasn't blown away. It tasted too much like regular Cap'n Crunch. I just didn't get a good, clear and distinct chocolate flavor from it. I think the Cap'n needs to stick to his glorious Peanut Butter Crunch. That cereal alone is worthy of winning him the Nobel Peace Prize. What? If Obama is capable of the Nobel prize, clearly, ANYONE can win one.

And it wouldn't be a true blog project unless I was able to subject my family to the torture. They were all SO excited! Especially Jacob. Man, his enthusiasm was off the chain!!!

Cindy thought it was amazing. I think she was just rating the experience of getting to eat cereal as a family after dinner on a school night.

I tried and tried to get Luke to say a number to express his feelings, but it absolutely confused him to no end. So we will say "good" equals about an 8?

As soon as a magical coupon appears, I will give you my full review of Coco Puffs Brownie Explosion. Ah, heck, you know I can't wait for a coupon! I will get on that right away...

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Your thoughts?

Every morning in the car on the way to drop off Luke and Cindy at school, I usually have on AM talk radio. Yes, behold my geekiness once again! On Monday morning, the kids were very mellow, which caused them to hear a particular pest control radio ad very clearly. We have since heard it a few more times and now the kids are quoting it.

Take a listen here:

60-second radio spots

Personally, I find the ad to be a unique combination of creativity and extreme creepyness. On the one hand, I HATE roaches, so the ad completely speaks to me. I have had more experience with roaches this summer than I need in a lifetime. (And I didn't even go to Mexico!) The idea of annihilating those psycho breeding vermin is actually a happy thought. But on the other hand, the imagery takes me to places that should never ever be visited. Ever. EVER. Even better is that Cindy doesn't actually even get the innuendo of the ad, which makes her comments about it all the more funny. (Kissing makes babies and that is all we know.) Plus, I am definitely not ready to have that discussion with Cindy about the birds and the bees, or the birds...and....the....roaches, I guess. Okay, this is just getting weird.

Monday, September 5, 2011

A Luke Quickie

Last Friday night the kids got to go to a school sponsored Lakeland Tigers minor league baseball game with Karl and DeAnne. Jacob and I couldn't go because we were out at Auburndale High School for a faculty BBQ and also so I could begin my yearly job of taking tickets at the football games. Anyway, grandparents are so AWESOME! They took the kids to the game and had a great time. When we came and picked up the kids later that night DeAnne told me that Luke ended up getting a bobblehead doll at the game and he really, really liked it. So on the way home in the car, I told Luke I wanted to see it. It was in a small box and in between two pieces of styrafoam, so I had to slide it out, and then pry it apart. As I did this, Luke was in the backseat in his carseat, and he says to me while smiling really big, "Isn't that so cool, it's just like when Han comes out of the carbonite!"

p.s. Luke actually broke the arm off the bobblehead doll the next day and it got thrown away. Please don't ever tell him this.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

This makes me even happier


Also, Luke learned how to use the camera tonight and is repsonsible for this awesome picture. Well, taking the picture anyway. Clearly the awesomeness in it is all me :)

Thursday, September 1, 2011

That makes me happy

Luke just informed me that one of the Power Rangers he likes in the Jungle Fury version of the show is the "Woof" Ranger. Ha! In my family I am infamously known for calling a wolf a "woof." And I guess my parents are right, it IS super cute :)

p.s. Apparently "Jungle Fury" is code for "the worst we can possibly make it."