Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween!

I do want to note that as well as Halloween, it was also National Caramel Apple Day, Knock Knock Joke Day and National Magic Day. Why you put another holiday that can't possibly compete with Halloween on the same day is beyond me, but I am just going to celebrate good old Halloween today :) Although, I have never made a caramel apple before. Perhaps I can make one in November just to have something to blog about. But, here are the highlights of Halloween 2009~

And let me start by saying that for about two weeks leading up to Halloween Cindy was NOT happy about the costume. She did not like the front tunic and told me over and over that it was a costume for a boy. She did not wear it to Fall Festival and I was sure all my efforts were in vain. But on Wednesday night when we had a Church Halloween activity, she put on the tights, the boots, the tunic, etc. with zero complaining and loved every minute of it. She even won a ribbon at the ward party for "Most Original costume" for the junior primary. Why the sudden change of heart? I HAVE NO CLUE. A blessing from above :) Anyway, she also became very excited about getting her picture taken tonight too. So here are her many poses. What's gotten into this child??

As for Luke, well, let's is what happened when I tried to put on his tunic at Wednesday's ward Halloween activity:

He was not a happy musketeer. So we took it off him and he just ran around eating chocolate the rest of the night. I needed at least one more picture that was better than that, so tonight I resorted to bribery and demonstrated with Cindy that when we put on a tunic, we get a piece of chocolate! He understood that language immediately and lasted long enough for a few pictures and a few houses in Grandma's neighborhood.

Apparently there is a flood coming that only Luke knows about...

Not a bad haul for about 5 minutes of trick or treating :)

Cindy, Charlotte McKendrick and Alyssa Fallaw really were the three musketeers of the night. They made a great trick or treating trio.

Kids sure are a lot of work, but they sure are worth it :)

Friday, October 30, 2009

Happy (take your pick) Day!

I think there are more choices for holidays on October 30th than pretty much any other day. My trusty holiday website gives me 9 different choices. It's Frankenstein Friday, Candy Corn Day, Devil's Night, National Forgiveness Day, International Bandana Day, Checklist Day, Create a Great Funeral Day and Haunted Refrigerator Night. Hmmmm, decisions, decisions... how about ALL OF THEM! Give me five minutes. Ready, set, GO!

Frankenstein Friday:

Who brings mommy monsters their new babies?
The Frankenstork!

What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block!

Candy Corn Day:


Devil's Night:

Study this chart for the test I will be giving on 'Creepy Mammals' on Monday....
Doesn't really look like that annoying Looney Toons guy to me. Seriously, the "pale pink ears that turn red when angry" are totally spooking me.

National Forgiveness Day:
I would officially like to ask all the Twilight fans out there to forgive me for insulting them and their books before I even read them. I have joined your ranks and I am not ashamed to admit it.

International Bandana Day
I just did a little research on this and cannot confirm that this is a real holiday. Well, actually, I think it is a real holiday, just celebrated on about 10 different days. Better just go with another cat picture:

Checklist Day
This was my to do list this morning:
* wake up with a horriffic sore throat
* drink scalding hot chocolate to ease the pain
* take Cindy to school
* forget that you were snack mom for her class today
* go to Wal-mart
* go back to school to drop off the snack
* go home to take medicine
* do some online banking, blogging, picture downloading, piano playing
* watch 4 episodes of Blue's Clues
* Let Luke finally have a turn watching something he likes
* make plans to check off another "experience" tomorrow morning at 10AM
* shower
* go to the last Auburndale High School football game to take tickets
* spend the entire night there playing 20 questions to pass the time
* absolutely stump your co-workers with having them try to guess "sand dollar", "contact lens" and "golf tee" during 20 questions
* finish that super amazing blog post you were working on

Create a Great Funeral Day

Wow, this one is a little hard for me. Not sure I want to really think about this too long. The other thing I am asking myself is have I ever come home from a funeral and thought "Now THAT was a great funeral!"
All I can say is that I have three requests for my funeral:
1. No viewing please (I think they are creepy).
2. "Redeemer of Israel" needs to be sung or heard. Preferably that version by the MoTab with the descant fancy embellishment thing on the third verse.
3. Lots and lots of chocolate milk, because you would be saying it was a great funeral afterwards :)

Haunted Refrigerator Night
I just went to my fridge to find the scariest thing in there and this is what I found:

Alright, not really. She was in the freezer. Rim shot! But seriously folks, I did find a shriveling cucumber:

Rosa will be eating good tonight!

So there you have it, 9 holidays, 5 minutes, 1 big nerd :)

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Happy Internet Day AND Happy Hermit Day!

Seriously, could there be a better combination of holidays? Ever? The answer is a flat out NO. There are no two words that better describe me than hermit and Internet. I would seriously go pro with the whole hermit thing if I could. And the Internet, well, we all know I want to marry it. And just what am I doing on the Internet? Actually, I just opened a new tab on my web browser and it very conveniently tells me what my 9 most visited websites are. So here they are:

Wow, am I boring or what? It just goes to show you that I love the Internet for about 5 reasons: to spy on my friends, to read the news, blog, do my banking and buy stuff. Huh, that really IS what I mostly use the internet for. Weird to see it broken down so simply like that. I guess I did forget one other major reason- to waist time. But I would have to go into an entire additional blog post to cover that subject. Stay tuned for that one...

And speaking of hermits, when I think of the word hermit, three things come to mind: Obi Wan Kanobi, crabs and oldies music. Oh, have you not heard of the 60's group named "Herman's Hermits"? Well, they had some great hits back in the day and their hit song "Into Something Good" is one of the best songs to sing harmonies with. And I don't even SING harmonies! Google it, it's a great one... But back to the matter at hand! Hermit is a word that describes me prefectly, as I can only stand being out amongst people for so long (usually about 11 minutes). Besides, being out in public requires a lot of work. Things like showering, makeup, fashion choices- good grief, I am tired just thinking about it! Much easier to just hang out at your own house and work on projects all day that never seem to end. And since I didn't really get a chance to be a hermit today (Halloween parade, errands, DJ a party, etc.) I think I will disappear tomorrow, not answer my phone, and have no contact with the outside world for a few days. Oh wait, that sounds like what I do every day. Well then, back to normal it is!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Happy National Chocolate Day!

Why does this day have to cooincide with the same day I eat two donuts for dinner? Fate can be so mean sometimes. Anyway, I did actually make an amazingly delicious discovery on this day. This morning I made a big bowl of oatmeal, added some butter, then some milk, then some honey, then some brown sugar and then a big mound of chocolate chips. Oh. My. Heck. It was kinda like eating a giant undercooked oatmeal cookie. Try it, it will knock your socks off. Tomorrow I am thinking I will just put a whole one of those Baby Ruth's in the oatmeal...ooooh, now we're talking about a reason to get out of bed!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Happy Navy Day!

Pop Quiz time! On this very special day you are to:

A. Dress in head to toe in a deep shade of blue
B. Give some well deserved attention to your proud U.S. Navy, and to the sailors who serve our country
C. Eat a large bowl of chili made with delicious, yet often-times overlooked, Navy Beans

The correct answer is....B. But who wouldn't also want to do A & C? Navy blue is actually one of my favorite colors and the Navy bean is quite tasty. But, I digress...

I can say that I only actually know two Navy sailors- one is John Foley, a man in my ward at church (who is lovingly referred to by his children as "the real James Bond" and who I am CERTAIN could kill me with his bare hands) and the other is Jacob's best friend from his childhood, Ryan Pomicter, who is now a surgeon in Virginia somwhere. In fact the only two times I have ever really even been close to a Navy ship was on a side trip to Baltimore, MD back in 2002 and when I visited Pearl Harbor in 2006. Baltimore was a few years before I went digital with my picture taking, but here are my ship shots from Pearl Harbor:

It is pretty incredible to think those huge masses of metal are able to float on the water. And not only that, we can steer them, launch missiles off them and even land a plane or two on them if needs be. Crazy! Anyone who serves in any branch of the armed forces is awesome. They make a huge sacrifice for the rest of us pansies and I salute them!

And here is a peppy, one minute Navy video that is the perfect way to say you have properly observed this day :)

Monday, October 26, 2009

Happy Howl at the Moon Day!

For real. At nine o'clock tonight (your local time) you are to go outside and give your best howl to the moon. This is the inagural year of this holiday, according to the website, so we will see how good their marketing has been. I am going to see how many other people in my neighborhood are also howling at the moon with me tonight. I have a feeling I might be alone in my principles :)

On another note, we had Cindy's Fall Festival at her school last Thursday. I took the kids down and they got to slide, trick or treat, eat candy, play games, eat more candy, run around, eat candy and Cindy even got to watch some clogging! She was completely mesmorized and was the only one clapping along with every song and every tap. Hmmm, might their be a clogger in her waiting to get out?? Perhaps... Here are a few pictures:

Cindy actually refused to wear this outfit because she said the front tunic made her look like a boy and the boots are too itchy. Oh brother! Another piece of advice for that parenting book I am going to write: "Never become more invested in your child's Halloween costume than they are." Ugh, I slaved over this thing!!

There was the wildly popular booth "Picture with a Pig" sponsored by the 4H Club of somewhere. He was very fragrant, shall we say.

Cindy was so funny when it was time for donut on a string. She caught the donut in her mouth just like this, and then proceeded to eat it like this. So she ate the donute entirely while it was still on the string. She just saddled up and chewed. It was quite funny to many of the parents observing.

I only took this picture of Cindy and her friend from class, Ryan, because Ryan reminded me so much of a little Jacob! Complete with soccer player costume and everything! Maybe no one else sees it like I do, but I just thought they were too cute.

Anyway, Cindy promised me that in return for not wearing her costume to Fall Festival, she would wear it for actual Halloween. She'd better! Or I will Musketeer her little behind... Luke will also be a musketeer, can't wait to see his tunic on him :)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Happy Mother-in-Law Day!

I was in a dilemma of what would be the most appropriate way to say thank you to my mother-in-law for being helpful, kind, generous and pretty much just plain awesome. And then it hit me: song parody! Uh one, uh two, uh one, two, three, four.... (you may need to let the whole thing load all the way before playing it, or the audio/video may not quite match up. Not sure why it does that...)

Anyway, I know that usually the stereotype of a mother-in-law is not a good one. I couldn't have a more opposite view. I know that we became related this way by chance, but we are friends by choice. And truly DeAnne, I count you as one of my best friends. Thanks again for all you do :)

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Happy Bologna Day!

I was soooo close to making and eating a fried balogna sandwich today. And then I got really, really sleepy. It must have been being out at Lithia Springs campground all day yesterday with the kids (and some good friends). Or it could have been staying up really late last night. Or it could have been sitting in the sun watching Cindy playing soccer for an hour and half this afternoon. Or it could have been working the concession stand at the soccer field for another hour and a half after the game. Anyway, I lost all my gumption for the former plan and am now going to celebrate with a favorite David Letterman Top Ten list. You can't go wrong with one of these...


10. Balogna (Ba Lo Nah)
9. Baloney (Ba Lo Nee)
8. Balonia (Ba Lo Nya)
7. Ballooning (Ba Lun Ing)
6. Fellini (Fe Lee Nee)
5. Abalone (A Buh Lo Nee)
4. Papillon (Pa Pee Yon)
3. Aloney-bae (Uh Lo Nee Bay)
2. Bloney (Blo Nee)
1. Bumoney (Buh Mo Nee)

Number two has to be my favorite- and my preferred way of saying bologna.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Happy Ipod Day!

Is this really even a holiday? I am getting conflicting reports... Anyway, I'm going with it. Cool part is that I actually do own an iPod! Count me in the "cool" club. Oh wait, I am President and CEO of that club, forgive me for the slip up. The funniest thing about my iPod is that all of the playlists and songs on there are really, incredibly random. The only thing I consistently use my iPod for is when I run. So most of the music on there is high-energy remixes. The other half of the iPod are songs we randomly added for our summer road trip. Songs we hadn't heard in forever and would enjoy much more than standard radio fare. Consequently, in my 6th playlist, the 6th song is "Never There" by Cake. In my 11th playlist, the 11th song is "The Princess Bride: Main Title" by Erich Kunzel and in my 16th playlist, the 16th song is "Viva La Vida Factory Remix" by Axel Force. I told you it was random! But what does my musical taste really say about me? Funny you should ask! I took a quiz just last night about just this subject. This is how my results break down:

I scored 57% in the category of reflective and complex music
17% in the category of edgy and aggressive music
90% in the category of fun and simple music
7% in the category of energetic and upbeat music

So my highest percentage was in the Fun and Simple Category. No shocker there. It says that:
"People with high scores on the fun and simple music-preference dimension tend to be sociable, forgiving, happy, reliable, and athletic. When it comes to morals and values, they tend be conservative, and consider family, salvation, and discipline important life values. On those days when the cable's on the fritz, they enjoy reading fashion or sports magazines, and watching a major motion picture, musical, western movie, or comedy movie"

Not sure about the fashion magazines, but other than that, pretty accurate! You can find the test here. So bust out that iPod, update it with new music in the ridiculously un-user friendly interface of iTunes and rock out! You have my permission as well as my blessing. (Just not music by Madonna, Prince, or Jewel- the trifecta of horrible musicians...)

Thursday, October 22, 2009


"This little-known holiday, according to geek lore, is an ironic little tradition stemming from the perceived overuse of capital letters in online conversation."
In fact, this day is especially important to the Capsoff Organization, which has launched a campaign urging hardware manufacturers to ditch the oft-abused and misused key. The founder says, "The Caps key is an abomination. It's a huge key, stuck right there where the Ctrl used to be, and as far as I know, it's only used by 419 scammers and Fortran programmers." Well, I ain't no scammer or Fortran programmer (what does that EVEN MEAN!?) but I happen to love the caps lock button! I mean, honestly, can you imagine having to hold down the regular old shift button at the same time as typing about 19 letters in a row? Of course you can't! Because you use the caps lock button and it is wonderful.

And because we all have graduated from Nettiquette class, we know that typing in caps lock is the equivalent of yelling and considered to be incredibly rude when sending emails and other forms of typed communication. Unless of course you want to yell and then it's totally appropriate. I have decided that I have a few things I need to get off my chest, and consequently, I would like to yell them all from the rooftops, but since you are reading this, well, caps lock button, I am pushing you NOW:


Ahh, I feel so much better now :) Caps lock day can be quite theraputic! BOO-YAH!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Happy National Pumpkin Cheesecake Day!

My original plan to celebrate this holiday was to make a great big ol' pumpkin cheesecake. Can I get a big "Duh!" (I even found about twelve gazillion recipes, including the knock off recipe for the one at Cheescake Factory.) But since it is nearing the end of the month and my food budget is pretty much spent, I decided the next best way to do this would be to head down to Bruster's Ice Cream and get a scoop of their Pumpkin Cheesecake ice cream. And since I never in a million years let a fruit or vegetable based ice cream flavor beat out something insanely chocolately when choosing any dessert, this choice was almost unprecedented. But you know what? It was delish! And the kids enjoyed coming along for the ride as well :)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Happy National Fruit Day!

Alright, alright, I confess! It is actually National Brandied Fruit Day but since I don't have any alcohol in my home or cook with alcohol ever, I can't exactly make up some snappy brandied cherries or something. Sounds a little gross anyway. So I simply removed the "brandied" part of the day and am just going to celebrate fruit. Ah, fruit! I actually really love fruit. My favorites would have to be the strawberry, the cherry, the banana, the cantalope and the pineapple. In fact, here are some lesser known facts about me, my family and fruit: (How did I read your mind just now and know that is what you wanted to read about? Amazing, isn't it!?)

Did You Know....

----> That my favorite fruit pie is the cherry pie (there's not even a close second)
----> That one year we gave my brother, Chris, a can of cherry pie filling in his stocking so he could eat it as a snack right out of the can? (See, I am not alone in my principles!)

----> That my mom loves to use the word "fruity" to describe something that doesn't look quite right

----> I have never been able to grow a pumpkin or cantalope in Florida, ever

----> Jacob hates Red Delicious apples, really he will only eat a Fuji or a Gala

----> A good way to get a watermelon really cold is to put it in your pool (done it, it works- just make sure there are no cracks in the melon)

----> The one fruit that Luke could eat forever and ever and never stop is canned mandarin oranges (he calls them "peaches")

----> The best topping on a waffle in the history of the world is Pear Syrup, made by Jacob's Grandma, Dorothy Henrie (mine is a disappointing knock-off)
----> The best part of eating in a Mexican restaurant is fresh guacamole. If they don't have that, leave immediately.

Now, when I first started this experiment 20 days ago, it was not my intention to simply hack youtube every day for a post. But again, I have found a nice video that is so entertaining and perfect for this day, that alas, I cannot resist its charm. And there are some pretty amazing facts in this little movie- check it out! (love the Mango, and love the Cat ;)

Monday, October 19, 2009

Happy Evaluate Your Life Day!

Wow, this day seems a little heavy. But I think I actually celebrated this around January 31st of this year if I am not mistaken... Oh, who cares, I have a GREAT life! I wouldn't change a thing about it. Well, actually I would go back in time and learn how to correctly style my hair for grades 3-12, but other than that, I am good :)

And speaking of evaluating things, here are some actual quotes taken from Federal Government Employee Performance Evaluations. Enjoy!

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

6. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

7. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."

8. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

9. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

10. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

11. "He's been working with glue too much."

12. "He would argue with a signpost."

13. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

14. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

15. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

16. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

17. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week ."

18. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

19. "This employee should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better."

20. "Will stick with us until retirement, unless we do something first."

21. "Needs more to do. Might I be so bold as to suggest looking for a job."

22. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Happy National Chocolate Cupcake Day!

I so did not need to celebrate this day. Because it actually ended up being National Eat Your Weight in Chocolate Cupcakes Day. I just can't resist the dang things! Oh well, that is the real reason I exercise; because my sweet tooth is the size of a Volkswagen. And I like it that way :) So anyway, I decided to celebrate this day in 2 ways. First, I made chocolate cupcakes for the Young Women's group at Church. It was Birthday Sunday, after all. Melissa Allen has a picture of it somewhere, so when she puts it on Facebook, I will steal it and put it here. Secondly, I took the other half of that cupcake batter and made mini cupcakes that were all filled with something different. I did a coconut, smore, peanut butter cup, chocolate chip cookie dough, turtle and chocolate chips. I wasn't messing around! The coconut one was very, very good, but next time I will sweeten it just a bit more. Anyway, we still have some left so I will probably put them in hinterlands of my freezer to tempt me just a little less.

On a completely different note, we carved our pumpkin today! I bought mine early this year and of course it began to mold :( Not that either of my children minded one bit. Anyway, he turned out pretty spooky and all the candle lighting, singing, ("Happy Birthday, dear pumpkin...) and then candle-blowing-out that ensued when we were done was well worth the effort.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Happy Bridge Day!

At first I was convinced that this was the day I was finally going to learn to play bridge! Sweet, I have always wanted to know how to play that card game. But alas, Bridge Day really is about a bridge! D'oh! In West Virginia of all places! Anyhow, every year they have Bridge Day and an ensuing Festival that attracts thousands of people (Seriously, like 80,000! In West Virginia! I know, right?) The big draw is the 876 foot tall New River Gorge Bridge. People from all over the world come to BASE jump off this bad boy. And do you know what BASE stands for? I totally learned something today and that is that BASE is an acronym for Building, Antenna, Span and Earth. These are the four fixed objects from which jumpers can parachute. Cool, huh? I never knew that until right now.

This is a sweet picture from the official Bridge Day website- Amazing!

I will never be that cool, so I found the bestest bridge around town I could find. This is the "bridge" along the Ft. Fraser trail where I ride my bike all the time. And coincidentally about 10 feet from where I saw that baby gator in the road that one time. I know, not as grand as an 876 foot bridge in West Virginia, but hey, when you live at sea level you do the best you can.
Luke should be ashamed with form like that. Blecch!

My mom graciously agreed to come along and be my photog for this monumental day. And we even played our own version of "Pooh Sticks" by racing leaves in the water below. Pretty darn fun for a 30 minute excursion! Anyhow, go visit a bridge today. So when people say, "So if an amazing blogger you knew went and visited a bridge, would you visit a bridge too?" You could say, "Heck ya!"

Friday, October 16, 2009

Happy Dictionary Day!

Being the giant word and grammar nerd that I am, I love this day! I happened to find a very funny website called where you can submit words that you think should be part of the English language, because quite frankly, don't we all at some point "make up words for those hard to express things and ideas in our heads?" Here are 20 of my favorite words from the dictionary: (Note: If you visit this site, please note that while most of the words, definitions and examples are hysterical, there are some that may need a little editing. Just so you know...)

1. prayergating (prâr-gāt'ĭng)
a. ( To apologetically tailgate or otherwise break the rules of the road. This is typically an act by a religious individual who is not keen on breaking rules, but finds it somehow necessary to arrive at their destination in a timely manner.
2. adorkable (ə-dôrk'ə-bəl)
a. (adj.) Equally adorable and dorky.
3. fivehead (fīv'hĕd')
a. (n.) The body part commonly referred to as the forehead, only larger or higher due to a receding hairline or facial structure.
4. alphageek (ăl'fə-gēk)
a. (n.) The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. Often found shunning lesser geeks in their cubicles.
5. clicklexia (klĭk-lĕk'sē-ə)
a. (n.) A computer-related disorder one suffers from in which they have a tendency to double-click on items which only require one click, often resulting in two items opening instead of just one. This disorder is more often found in novices and aged computer users.
6. qualificated (kwŏl'ə-fĭ-kāt'əd)
a. ( To be both qualified and educated.
7. banectomy (bə-nek'tə-mē)
a. (n.) The removal of bruises and other discrepancies on a banana.
8. chipple (chĭp'əl)
a. (n.) Residue left on one's hands and clothes after eating a bag full of chips.
9. crackerslacker (krăk'ər-slăk'ər)
a. (n.) The crackers that are found under the aluminum or plastic pouch when one finishes a package.
10. frankquilized (frăng'kwə-līzd)
a. ( When, by some fluke or alignment of planets, one has the same amount of hot dogs and hot dog buns. Also, when one's hot dog is the same length as its bun. See also: excess bunnage, excess frankage.
11. musquirt (mŭs'kwûrt)
a. (n.) Water that comes out during the initial squirts of a mustard squeeze bottle
12. snackrifice (snăk'rə-fīs')
a. (v.) The impelling act of sharing one's most treasured treat with one's significant other, friend, or family member in order to avoid hurting their feelings for one's own selfish indulgence.
13. hidying (hī'dē-ĭng)
a. (v.) Tidying to the point that nobody can find anything.
14. arachnijig (ə-răk-nĭ'jĭg)
a. (n.) The involuntary dancing motion one makes when one accidentally walks into a spider web, or is told there's a spider on them.
15. irritainment (ĭr'ĭ-tān'mənt)
a. (n.) Entertainment that makes one irritated
16. arrow-waster (ăr'ō-wā'stər)
a. (n.) One who does not immediately proceed when a left-turn arrow flashes green; preventing following motorists from making it through on the light.
17. destinesia (dĕs'tə-nē'zhə)
a. (n.) Going upstairs or downstairs and being unable to remember why
18. hippocritamus (hĭp'ə-krĭt-ə'məs)
a. (n.) One who performs great acts of hypocrisy.
b. (n.) A big, fat hypocrite.
19. beveragitation (bĕv'răj'ĭ-tā'shən)
a. (n.) The disturbing feeling of loss and bewilderment one experiences when looking into an empty cup or mug that they were sure contained at least another mouthful.
20. bowlikinetics (bō'lĭ'kə-nĕt'ĭks)
a. (n.) The act of trying to control a released bowling ball by twisting one's body in the direction one wants it to go

Go ahead and try these out on your friends! They are sure to think your awesomnity is utterly fabtastic :)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Happy National Grouch Day!

I was telling my mother-in-law, DeAnne, the other day that this holiday comes at the exact right time because there is nary a soul on the planet who is more grouchy than Luke right now. Seriously, he must be secretly sleeping only about an hour a night because he is just so ornery all day! And don't get me started about his meltdown at 3:15 every afternoon. This is the precise moment when he wakes up in the car after accidentally falling asleep on the way to get Cindy from school. He wakes up and bawls his eyes out in a drunken stupor while just moaning "Mommmmm...." over and over and over and over. And the worst part is that his grouchiness continues well into the next several hours when all he does is wander around sobbing and mumbling about needing to "watch something on the big screen." Oh, the humanity!

But there are other grouches to celebrate: you got Oscar, Grouchy Smurf, Grumpy the dwarf, a certain Ladybug, Roz from Monsters, Inc., my across the street neighbor when you mess with his mailbox, every cashier at my local Wal-mart; yes, grouches surround us. And this is their day to just be themselves (like one day they up and wouldn't, right?) Anyway, this day is for them. I hope it's a horrible one!

Take us out Oscar:

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Happy Be Bald and Be Free Day!

I was really looking forward to posting some sweet bald jokes here today, but according the website about this holiday, "Enough with the bald jokes. There will be zero tolerance for them today!" Okay, okay. Fine. Instead I will celebrate baldness by saying that I think bald people have it pretty good. I mean, they have no worries about if their hair is actually going to fall out one day, no wasting money on tons of gel and hairspray, never being self-conscious about having a bad hair day, and best of all they get to join the Brotherhood of Bald People. Not a bad gig! But most of all, bald people are very wisdomous. For example....

Homer Simpson
"Oh, so they have internet on computers now!"

Captain Picard
"Make it so!"

Bald Eagle
"Never build a nest on a power pole."

Yul Brynner
"You will be mine, like my dog, or my horse, or my falcon, except that I shall love you more - and trust you less."

Mr. Clean
"Behold! I have a magical eraser!"

Master Yoda
"Do or do not, there is no try."

My Father-in-Law
"Anything made in a restaurant can be made even better at home- and for a fraction of the cost."

My Father
"What's most important is that you amuse yourself."

So for all you chrome-domes and cue balls out there, celebrate not only your folical freedom on this day, but also your apparent enhanced enlightenment. Ahhhhhh!!!!!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Happy International Skeptics Day!

At least that's what they want us to think today is! It's probably not even a real holiday. Maybe it's all just a rouse to make me look like a fool. Maybe it's the the product of those quacks at Hallmark that just want us to spend millions of dollars on cards and flowers every year wishing everyone a Happy Skeptics Day. Wait a minute, I think I'm on to something here....

While I get to work on my scathing editorial exposing Hallmark for the charlatans they are, enjoy these Great Quotes from Great Skeptics.

"What can be more palpably absurd than the prospect held out of locomotives traveling twice as fast as stagecoaches?"
- The Quarterly Review, England (March 1825)

"Well informed people know it is impossible to transmit the voice over wires and that were it possible to do so, the thing would be of no practical value."
- Editorial in the Boston Post (1865)

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
- Lord Kelvin, ca. 1895, British mathematician and physicist

"There is no need for any individual to have a computer in their home."
- Ken Olson, 1977, President, Digital Equipment Corp.
More of those quotes can be read here.

But just in case you were wondering, here are the:

Top Ten Things I Am Most Skeptical About

10. Global Warming
9. Cars being able to run on water
8. NBC's fall lineup
7. The Bucs winning one game this season
6. Milli and Vanilli still being friends
5. Kinoki Foot Pads
4. Reduced fat peanut butter tasting as good as regular peanut butter
3. US Soccer doing well in the World Cup next summer
2. Two different people agreeing to marry Britney Spears
1. OJ finding the real killers

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Happy International Moment of Frustration Scream Day!

Today is a wee bit tricky. It isn't that there aren't several options of holidays to celebrate, it is just that I am feeling none of them. (You got Columbus Day, Indigenous Peoples Day, Canadian Thanksgiving, Malawaian Mother's Day, I could go on....) But the one I liked the best is International Moment of Frustration Scream Day, in which you are to go outside at 1200 Greenwich mean standard time and scream for 30 seconds, releasing all your pent-up frustrations. I learned that 1200 Greenwich mean time is 7AM Eastern Time. 7am is sleepy time for me. However, I mentioned this little obstacle to Jacob last night and he said, "No problem! At 7am my students are walking in the door and I'm screaming every day." You see? THAT is why I married him :)

But if you need to hear some good screams anyway, here is an America's Funniest Videos montage of people getting scared. I imagine this is what living with my mom is like on a daily basis....

Happy National Clergy Appreciation Day!

First off, I tried a fluffernutter today with my lunch. Quite tasty! And Cindy had two for her lunch today. Perhaps I have found the elusive variety of sandwich that Cindy will actually eat at school...

So for National Clergy Appreciation Day we made some cookies and sent them with Jacob up to our Bishop at the church. Because nothing says thank you for giving selflessly for 5 years of your life like 4 chocolate chip cookies. Yeah, that's fair.

Cindy and Jacob giving Bishop the incredibly enthusiastic thumbs up.

Anyway, I really do think my ward has the best Bishop in the whole world. Bishop Bailey is on his second time around in this calling and he is one hard workin' guy. Bishops in the LDS Church do not get paid. It is done strictly on a volunteer basis, but this is like having a volunteering gig that takes 40+ hours a week- it really is like a second job. Bishop Bailey gives a ton of time on behalf of so many people so our family wanted to salute him (and his family for sharing him with us:) Thanks, Baileys! We Love You!

P.S. And thanks Erika for posting pictures on Facebook and letting me freely steal them anytime I need a visual ;)

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Happy National Cake Decorating Day!

Thank goodness my appetite has totally returned:) Cindy loves to make cake, eat cake, think about cake, spell the word cake, pretend to blow out candles- she just loves all things about cake. So this day was right up her alley. I had to do a little convincing to do the Frankenstein design (she really was fighting for a pink cake- DUH), but once I told her how she could help she was totally on board. Plus, it's Halloween and I have never officially made a Halloween cake. Here is our creation:

Luke could only watch and wait.

Wow, the snipped Ziploc bag works WAY better than the professional cake decorators bag. Cindy did most of the hair, the pupils, the eyebrows and the tongue. She was squealing with delight the entire time.

Ol' Frankie turned out pretty good, I have to say. I saw a trick-or-treat bag on the internet with this face on it and thought it was the perfect design for a rectangle.

Anyway, we are having Family Home Evening tonight because of all the sickness in the house this week, so we will serve him up, complete with candles sticking out of his neck. Awww-yeeee-ah!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Happy Back from the Dead Day!

Okay, that is not actually the holiday today, but for me, that is what today should be called. That picture of me with the balloons on my head was apparently the picture of me about 5 hours away from wanting to die. The germs that got Luke, then Cindy, then Jacob finally got me starting on Wednesday night. Thursday was awful- but when you are surrounded by family and friends, it's really not so bad :) Anyway, I am vertical today, which is a huge milestone. But still taking it slow. But, back to the celebrating! Another two-for-one today on account of my dying yesterday...

Happy National Fluffernutter Day!

Do you know what a Fluffernutter is? Well, I know one person who definitely does and that is Chris Sturgis, my friend from BYU days. Chris, this one is for you!

A fluffernutter sandwich is bread, fluff and peanut butter. For those of you who have never been to Massachusettes or had a good friend from there, "Fluff" is simply marshmallow cream. (And not the lame Kraft brand, either. No we're talking genuine "Fluff") Don't worry, I too did not have a clue what that stuff was until the above mentioned Chris (who is from Methuen, MA) enlightened me by telling me about it and then sending me a jar of it the summer after freshman year. (Along with a Boston t-shirt and other goodies. I still remember that! So cool.) Anyway, I have never had one of these bad boys so what better of a day than this to try one out.

Disclaimer: On account of my stomach still not being full strength, I had to let Cindy try one out for me. I plan to try one myself in the coming weeks. But for now, she was a willing guinea pig.

Cindy said she really liked it. In fact, she said that she liked it better than peanut butter and jelly! And by the way, the fluff is actually lower in calories and sugar than grape jelly. Go figure!

Also, for a very funny story about making Fluffernutters the official state sandwich of Massachusettes, along with many other things that the kids of Massachusettes want to enshrine in their local congress, read this.

Onward and Upward....

Happy Leif Ericson Day! (Yerga Hinga Dinga!)

Today is the day that honors Leif Ericson, an explorer who brought the first Europeans known to have set foot in North America, in modern day Canada. You are to celebrate this day by doing three things:

1. Put on your best Viking hat with horns and red beard. Check!
2. Watch the clip of Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick celebrating this day:


3. You are to get your official Viking Name and personality by going here.

My official viking name is: Jódís Shieldtickler

My Viking Personality: The tougher Vikings might let you on the boat, but generally only when they need ballast. You're not a belligerent person by nature, which is unfortunate if you want to be a Viking. You might be able to hold your own on the battlefield, but you're no "berserker".

You might grumble a bit at the lack of amenities on board a Viking longboat, but you can handle it. Vikings make fun of you all the time. Not always behind your back, either.

People who've known you for a while don't always trust your word. Other people tend to think of you as manipulative and conniving."

Wow, was that is an accurate quiz, or what?! I was thinking about my almost-Viking past just the other day and it was pretty darn close to this. Anyhow, enjoy Leif Ericson Day- I know I did :)