"This little-known holiday, according to geek lore, is an ironic little tradition stemming from the perceived overuse of capital letters in online conversation."In fact, this day is especially important to the Capsoff Organization, which has launched a campaign urging hardware manufacturers to ditch the oft-abused and misused key. The founder says, "The Caps key is an abomination. It's a huge key, stuck right there where the Ctrl used to be, and as far as I know, it's only used by 419 scammers and Fortran programmers." Well, I ain't no scammer or Fortran programmer (what does that EVEN MEAN!?) but I happen to love the caps lock button! I mean, honestly, can you imagine having to hold down the regular old shift button at the same time as typing about 19 letters in a row? Of course you can't! Because you use the caps lock button and it is wonderful.
And because we all have graduated from Nettiquette class, we know that typing in caps lock is the equivalent of yelling and considered to be incredibly rude when sending emails and other forms of typed communication. Unless of course you want to yell and then it's totally appropriate. I have decided that I have a few things I need to get off my chest, and consequently, I would like to yell them all from the rooftops, but since you are reading this, well, caps lock button, I am pushing you NOW:
WHY IS THE TODAY SHOW ON FOR 6 HOURS EVERY DAY ON NBC!?!??! WHY IS THE TODAY SHOW ON AT ALL???!!! STOP SAYING THE WORD 'TWEETED'- IT'S LAME!!!!!!!!! QUIT TELLING ME HOW TO DRESS LIKE A CELEBRITY, I WOULD RATHER LOOK LIKE MRS. POTATO HEAD! WHY DID MY NEIGHBOR'S POOL CONSTRUCTION GUY SHOW UP AT 6:30 THIS MORNING?!?!! YOU ARE GONNA WEAR THIS MUSKETEER COSTUME AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT!!! MIDDLE SCHOOL BUS STOP KIDS: STOP SCREAMING LIKE LITTLE GIRLS EVERY SINGLE MORNING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW!!! IF I FIND ONE MORE GIANT GLOB OF PINK TOOTHPASTE IN THAT BATHROOM, I SWEAR I'M GONNA TAKE A HOSTAGE! PUT YOUR DISHES IN THE DISHWASHER! IT'S EMPTY!!! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT GOVERNMENT RUN HEALTH CARE??!!! IT'S RUN BY THE GOVERNMENT!!! ACTUALLY DOG WALKERS, I DO MIND THAT YOUR DOG GOES TO THE BATHROOM IN MY YARD! I LOVE CEREAL!!! THANK YOU FOR FINALLY MOVING YOUR MAILBOX, OLD MAN! EAT ALL OF THE CAT FOOD, DON'T JUST LICK THE JUICE, YOU WEIRDO! WILL SOMEONE DIG A LARGE HOLE ON THE OFF-CHANCE THAT JON, KATE, AND OCTOMOM WILL FALL IN??? PUBLIX, I LOVE YOU! GLOBAL WARMING IS A SCAM! YES IT IS! DARK CHOCOLATE HUMILIATES MILK CHOCOLATE WHEN IT COMES TO TASTE! GO COUGARS!!! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY CAN'T WE STOP MADONNA FROM MAKING MORE MUSIC? I HAVE THE GREATEST FAMILY IN THE WORLD!!!!
Ahh, I feel so much better now :) Caps lock day can be quite theraputic! BOO-YAH!