Have you ever had those moments as a parent where you are trying to have a serious teaching moment but your kids are trying to be funny and disruptive by making a dumb comment and as hard as you try to ignore it, you find it funny and can't suppress your laughter? Especially when your spouse is able to suppress theirs? This was me last night during scripture study:
I am being played by Ryan Gosling, Jacob is being played by Steve Carrell. We were reading in D&C 34 and the Lord is telling Orson Pratt about some of the signs of the second coming. After reading that the "moon will be turned to blood", Jacob asks the kids to think about how that could happen. How could the moon be turned to blood? After thinking a minute Cindy says, "Astronauts dying?" And then I was dying. Alone in my principals. Oh, come on, that was FUNNY! Ill-timed and obviously not the right answer, but still funny.
1. Crocs is now making golf shoes.
2. Luke's favorite part of a fortune cookie is the lucky numbers.
3. No sandwich will ever be better than the Publix Ultimate sub.
4. If there is a spiderweb located anywhere along my running route, I will find it with my face.
5. Five pounds of gummy bears goes a lot further than you think it will
6. You can find absolutely anything on Pinterest. Exhibit A:
Today the kids did not have school so I took them to Goodwill to start working on Cindy's halloween costume. As we walked in the front doors, a police officer was leading out a very strange man in handcuffs. Cindy was very shocked at this scene and was a little startled by the experience. At dinner tonight, I told Cindy to tell Jacob what she saw at Goodwill. After she told him about the man, Jacob smiled and asked, "Oh yeah, what did he do? " Luke replied, "Maybe he wasn't doing good will to people." Rim shot!
I have now been typing medical notes for an orthopedic doctor for a little over a year, and by so doing I have learned something really important that I would like to share with both of my readers. I have learned that the plot of Rookie of the Year is completely implausible. I mean, he breaks his arm and the "tendons" in his shoulder heal a little "tight"? Please.
Yesterday I told Luke a joke. It went like this...
Me: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Me: In case he got a hole in one!
Luke: I don't get it.
Me: You know, the expression, getting "a hole in one"? Making the ball in with just one shot?
Luke: Yeah, but I still don't get it.
Me: In case he got a "hole in one"! Of the pairs of pants??
Luke: I still don't get the joke, though.
Me: You're killing me! If he got a hole in one of the pairs of pants, he was wearing a second pair.
Luke: I KNOW, BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH A GOPHER??!
Me: Golfer, Luke. A golf-er.
Luke: Oh. I get it now.
And in case you were wondering, a gopher wears two pairs of pants just to be ridiculous.
On the way to the Primary temple trip the other day, the kids brought along the iPod touch to occupy themselves. They decided to play the 20 Questions app, which I have found to be eerily good at guessing what you are thinking of. It was Luke's turn to think of the object and he decided to try and have it guess "bird's nest." Well wouldn't you know that we tried FOUR separate times to have it guess correctly and it never could! These guesses were as close as it got...
The kids were laughing hysterically the whole time and they really lost it when it asked if our object was something "used in a proposal for marriage." So if anyone wants to challenge the 20 Questions app to a duel, choose bird's nest. You will always win.
P.S. Mom, this is a sugar glider: (crazy eyes come standard)
Today our primary went on a temple trip to the Orlando Temple. We toured the grounds with the Temple matron, took individual pictures out in front and then ended the activity at the Stake Center across the street making a temple craft. I hate being in charge of things, so this activity actually caused me a lot of stress this week as I was trying to make sure I had thought of everything, but my prayers were answered and it all came together better than I could have hoped. My kids have now visited 17 temples. Hard to believe they have seen 16 other temples (including one in Hawaii) before their very own. Mom of the year, right here.
At one point in the tour, the matron told us about the "cornerstone box" that is inside the eastern cornerstone of the temple. There about 50 items inside that box, including a rattlesnake rattle and a wild boar tusk from the Church Ranch, an animated cel of Jiminy Cricket given to us from Disney, two patches that astronauts wore in space, pictures of the first presidency at the time and a banner signed by ME. Yes, I had to have my memory jogged today. Twenty years ago, this year, all the youth in the Orlando temple district signed a banner committing themselves to being worthy to go to the temple for their endowments. Well, it was 20 years ago (insert panic attack here) and I don't remember that because I am too busy remembering that I sang in the choir in the celestial room 20 feet from President Hunter for the temple dedication. So there!
It was indeed a million degrees outside during the tour, and not only was the spirit of God like a fire burning, but so was our flesh just a little. Thank goodness the kids and parents rolled with it and endured like champs. Hey, I tried for December, but the Stake Calendar is a cruel taskmaster.
The other night for Family Home Evening, Cindy made a lesson about being kind to others that featured an owl. ("Owl tweet others the way I want to be tweeted!" Ha!) We got to put a piece of the owl (beak, legs, eyes, etc.) onto the picture every time we picked a good way to be kind to others. After Jacob picked a good one, he told Cindy, "Put a wing on it." And then quietly from the end of the table Luke said, "If you liked it then you shoulda put a wing on it." Once again proving that you just never know when your kids are listening.
One of the first homework assignments Luke had for school this year was to bring in five objects about him to share with the class. One of them was a family picture and he was supposed to fill out a 3x5 card telling all about the object. He didn't know what to say, so I was giving him ideas. I said, "You could tell something about each family member, our names, what we like to do....." And then for fun I said, "Also you could even tell who is your favorite family member." Cindy overheard me say that and was outraged. She told Luke he could absolutely NOT pick a favorite family member. Luke didn't see what the big deal was and just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well, I was just gonna say it was Dad." And then I was outraged.
Yesterday after a baptism at Church, my kids were eating some of the cookies that were provided as refreshments. Luke ate one of his cookies, but the second one he had taken was not disappearing very fast. It appeared to be a little overdone and I asked him why he wasn't really eating it. He said, "I don't really like the crunchy ones. It tastes like toast." Hey, what's wrong with toast?!
A friend at work told me about this yogurt and now I am going to send her an invoice for the addiction therapy I need in order to stop eating it all the time. I could eat this every day for the rest of my life and never get tired of it. Sean, you have Chipotle; I have this yogurt. I might even secretly prefer this over ice cream right now, which I believe is some sort of horrific Bingham blasphemy. Forgive me, I caught the Coco Loco.
I honestly wasn't planning on seeing this movie in the theater, but after so many of my friends and family were praising this movie on Facebook, I thought it would be worth a shot. Here is my takeaway...
The plot was a mess. Way too many alien species, planets, villains, backstories that weren't explained- I was lost for pretty much the entire first half of the movie.
If you hate CGI, this is not the movie for you.
People are kind of comparing this movie to Star Wars. I will give you the Han Solo-esqueness of Chris Pratt and the fact that it takes place in space, but other than that, not even close.
What was really missing for me was character development. It seemed like the movie went from five total strangers meeting for the first time (and hating each other) to declarations of "I will die beside you!" in about six minutes- with no real explanation of why.
This movie took for-ev-er to get going.
Although this movie has a unique look to it, for all intents and purposes it was a very typical alien/adventure movie. An object that has infinite power is being sought after by various groups. Reminds me of the Tesseract. Wait, no the Allspark. No, wait, the One Ring...
While I appreciated the comic relief that Rocket was supposed to bring to the movie, he was just too snarky and super annoying by the end of the movie.
I really tried, but it was way too hard to see Zoe Saldana as anything other than a green Uhura.
Chris Pratt was awesome in this movie and will no doubt reach megastar status. He is no Captain America, but he's not a bad looking guy.
I appreciated the fact that they tried to bring some genuine humor to the movie. There were some very funny moments.
I actually think that sequels to this movie will be much better than the original. Weird.
Groot the tree was not totally lame! Such a surprise. Vin Diesel has found his perfect role.
We saw it in IMAX 3D and it didn't even make me want to throw up!
The soundtrack. I have been listening to the songs of the soundtrack on Spotify for a few days now. Blue Suede is so under appreciated.
Lots of previews before the show. Anyone else excited for the upcoming movie "Interstellar"? Looks good!
Ultimately I would have to give this movie a 3 out of 5. Entertaining, but not quite the complete package. I will give 37 bonus points for Pratt's solo of "O-o-h Child", but I also must deduct 227 points for Glenn Close's ridiculous future hair and the cameo by Howard the Duck.