Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Deep Thoughts

A few weeks ago Jacob got a call from an acquaintance needing an emergency DJ because they had hired one that did not show up for a birthday party.  After he called to tell me we were leaving soon for Clearwater Beach, I hung up and immediately began thinking in my head about the music for this party.  It went something like this....

"Let's see, she is turning 40, so that means we are going to be playing what?  70's music?  No, wait, is that right?  Let's see, if she is 40 now........ that means that she was.....carry the one.......18 in.........1993.  HOLY CRAP, 1993.  I GRADUATED IN 1997."  

*Silence and deep thought the rest of the ride home*

The party turned out to not be a big deal at all, not sure why they even hired a DJ to be honest, but the hotel was right on the beach and I got to see a killer sunset.  The bartender even put the tv on the BYU vs Utah game for a short time until everyone realized they were watching a BYU vs Utah game, and then they immediately changed it to the SEC.  I didn't really want to watch it anyway...

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Hand Me My Wand, Dear

Last Friday was "Frozen Day" in 4th grade at the school.  The kids were going to be studying the ice age and the science of snowflakes and reindeer ventriloquy or something like that, so all the teachers were dressed as characters from the movie and the kids were allowed to dress up as well.  Luke didn't really mention this fact to me ahead of time but after we were at school for about 10 seconds and he could see how seriously all of his friends were taking this day, he came to me in a panic begging me to "make him an Olaf costume."  Now, I admit, I am good.  Sometimes I am even real good.  But making an Olaf costume basically out of nothing was a little beyond my capabilities.  Or so I thought! I actually went to the teacher workroom and found things in the recycle bin to put together three pieces of coal, a carrot nose and three little hairs that I attached to my black headband and BAM! You're welcome, Luke.  You won't really appreciate this until later, like maybe when you are on your mission and someone urgently asks you to make them a snowman costume out of nothing. And in that moment you will think "Why do you need a snowman costume, President?"

Yoo-hoo, big student blow out!

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Roadie Awards Vol. 5, Studio C

During our time in Utah, Studio C was holding a live taping at BYU.  We entered the drawing for free tickets, but alas, my email was sadly overlooked.  So we decided to go the hard route and do the old standby line.  

Cindy's best gal pal Charlotte and her family happened to be in Utah as well, so we joined forces on our adventure.  

This was the line for standby tickets just before noon when the line was supposed to begin forming.

Charlotte and family made signs in hopes of garnering support for our quest to get inside for the taping.  

We made it to the front of the line and were given a standby number of 10.  They didn't seem too optimistic that we would get in, but they did promise that we would be able to watch the live feed from upstairs and perhaps have a visit from some of the cast members.  

We had until 5pm to wait around, so we decided to spend our time in Provo by:

Cozying up to Jeremy...

Kicking it with Matt...

Reenacting a little shoulder angel...

Battling the brutal summer crowds for a bowl of Whoosh Cecil and Graham Canyon at the Creamery on 9th...

Hitting the classic Orem Nickelcade and finally winning 100 tickets on the super prize wheel of fantasical amusement...

And checking out the new Provo City temple.

We finally made it back to the broadcasting building to wait in line and find out our Studio C fate.

We didn't make it in :(  Michelle, Cindy and her friends were pretty disappointed, but just as promised, we were shown to the overflow room where we got to watch the entire live taping AND.....

We received a surprise visit from Adam and James!!

They didn't have time for autographs, but after a short Q&A they ran around the room for high fives.  I asked Cindy, if she knew how it would end going in to this experience, which one would she have chosen?  Get in to the taping or meet these guys?  She said meeting the cast was way better.  Secretly, I totally planned it that way.  I am just that good of a mom.  

Yeah, okay, so I didn't really hand out any "awards" in this post, but you know what? You know who deserves an award?  YOU.  Thank you, loyal Sweeneyville reader for not giving up on me and my attempt at blogging about my summer vacation before Halloween.  

It's Not If I'm Buying This, It's How Many Do I Want?

Yoda Cat For Me

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Ain't Nobody Got Time For This

About a month ago during what was supposed to be my first days of orientation for my new job at the school, I got selected for jury duty for the first time in my life.  Since the timing was just awful, I was determined to plead my case to the judge and get the heck out of there and back to my real life.  You can guess how well that turned out.  I angrily texted Jacob to let him know my fate just after I was sworn in.  His reply was,

Note to self, be more crazy

It was a three day civil case of a woman suing her HOA for a sewage backup in her condominium. Which happened over four years ago.  That every "witness" couldn't "really remember."  Which made for a lovely three days of constantly asking myself, "How did I get here???" over and over and over again.  While I did actually pay attention to all the evidence and all the "witnesses" (really, an old BLIND man that supposedly didn't respond to letters that were mailed to him???!!!), I would be lying if I said this wasn't me every time I walked into the jury box:

I won't bore you with all the details, but I will share some tidbits of wisdom that I have collected from this experience.

Things I Learned From Serving on a Jury

10.  Judges do not care if you are missing your first day of work at your new job to come and possibly be selected for jury duty. In fact, they probably secretly delight in your misery and talk about it with all their judgey friends when they get together for canasta.  "Haha, I totally picked another one that absolutely didn't want to be there.  You should have seen her face!"

9.  If you are the bailiff in charge of ordering pizza for the jury to eat while they begin deliberating, don't get two extra larges for 7 people.  That's way too much.  Just get the pizza and then maybe some garlic knots.

8.  If there is any way possible to mediate a solution to your case before going to court and handing your case over to a jury, for the love of all things good and holy, please make that happen.  We had absolutely no idea what we were doing.

7.  The seersucker suit not only still exists, but is thriving among the over 70, balding, slightly wacky, farsighted, lawyer demographic.

6.  To make "sidebars" more fun, have a stash of small candies in your purse to eat each time the lawyers take one.  You will gain five pounds, but your annoyance at the constant interruptions will be mitigated.

5.  Don't got through awkward goodbyes with your fellow jurors right before lunch, because you will each go your separate ways and then end up sitting every other table at your local Zaxby's.

4.  So much of what you see on TV does actually exist in the courtroom, but the eloquence is turned down by about 20 levels.  There are a lot of awkward pauses and "uhhhhs" and "ummmms" while the lawyers think of how to say things without getting an objection from the opposing side.  But not once did anyone yell, "You can't handle the truth!"  So in that regard, it was kind of a letdown.

3.  The court stenographer is the real hero in that courtroom. I don't know how he manages to keep up with everything that is being said and not completely lose his mind at the stupid things he has to hear, day in and day out.  Words I really wish we could have heard during the trial include, bat-a-rang, snozzberry, rumpus, frenemy, talk to the hand, and cyberslacking.

2.  Using the pad and pen they provide you to draw cat doodles is totally acceptable because in the end all the papers get shredded and no one sees your drawings.  Wait, that's actually really sad, because my liger was incredible.

1.  If you are quietly filling out your first preliminary form for jury selection and you happen to casually glance over to the big guy next to you and see that he has written down that he has been on trial for murder, and then you later get placed on a 7 man jury with that same big guy, don't sweat it.  Apparently he's just really excited to see "how things work on the other side" of the courtroom.

Friday, September 9, 2016

It Was a Long Day

After taking Cindy, Charlotte and Becca to All-County Chorus auditions yesterday, (which was an experience I can liken only to the DMV mixed with a little bit of the line for meeting Ana and Elsa), the four of us took our weary selves to Wendy's.  Because they put your name on a big TV screen.  And then things got a little out of hand.  Big shout out to Ashley for tolerating our shenanigans :)  To be clear, "Fry Fighter" was going to be "ChewBaconator", but they only have so many characters to play with.  

8500 bonus points to anyone who can correctly pronounce the name on the middle left receipt

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Ode to the School Nurse

Since I work at the school now, I regularly get to walk into the main office and right by the clinic. Never have I ever seen the clinic without at least one child in it.  Ever.  (And when I subbed last year, I think I was responsible for sending about 80% of those kids.)  I really don't think the school nurse has down time during her entire day.  And today I personally had to walk in there and thank her for helping me.  Not because I had an injury, but because during my shift in the lunchroom, Luke bit into his sandwich and his already very loose tooth got wedged forward in a horribly uncomfortable position.   I don't really do loose teeth removal (I don't enough continuing education credits) so I sent him to Mrs. Gina and he confidently returned  minutes later, smiling and holding his tooth in his spanking new tooth necklace. Yep, she took that tooth right out.  Hopefully she won't be leaving the school any time soon because Luke still has a good 12 teeth left to lose.

I don't always lose my teeth, but when I do, it's at school.

If Only She Would Channel This Energy Into Other Areas of Life

The other morning I went to open the fridge and right as I began to put my hand on the handle, Cindy was right next to me smiling really goofily and raising her eyebrows up and down.  And then when I opened the fridge, I saw this:

 I guess it goes without saying, but never let Cindy stay up late with access to a supply of googly eyes.  An "army" will be created.

Monday, September 5, 2016

I don't always draw a world map on the Primary chalkboard...

But when I do, the children refuse to believe my capabilities.
(Thanks a lot!)


It was just my time to be amazing.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Yet Another Reason I Haven't Had Time to Blog

Jacob and I have definitely developed a severe case of schizophrenia when it comes to our house. Some days we love it and never want to leave, other days we hate everything about it and begin exhaustive internet searches for anything with a split plan on one acre.  This indecisiveness has lead us to not put a lot of effort into the updating of the house that needs to be done.  However, I finally feel like we have turned a corner recently and have decided that staying or going, the house needs to be updated either way and we might as well get going on the giant list of to do's that await us.  Maybe we will even like the house when we are done, who knows?  Currently we are working on the kitchen. We want new cabinets, but spending $8k on a kitchen remodel is not in the budget.  Besides, Pinterest shows you how to do DIY just about anything now a days, so I don't need no stinkin' kitchencabinetdoorsoutlet.com.  I will just do it myself...

I found the magical paint of all paints that you can paint right on laminate with no sanding. Seriously. It's $44/gallon and I have to special order it to my local Home Depot, but it totally works!  Just paint everything indoors if you live somewhere humid.  I really needs to dry all the way and that will never happen outside in Florida.

These are the first four cabinets we experimented with and I have to say that I think they turned out flippin' sweet!  We added the wood trim to the existing cabinets we had and so far it has been way easier than I ever imagined.  Our kitchen has a lot of cabinetry, however, so this project might be hanging around for a while. Still, it feels good to get started.

Time Marches On

I mentioned to Jacob today that I was planning on giving up the blog.  I simply don't have the time right now to really keep on top of it.  He was totally offended!  And basically commanded me to keep blogging.  So I will press on.  One reason in particular that I feel strapped for time is that I now work full time as a para at South McKeel Academy.  After subbing there all last year, I interviewed to be hired full time and wouldn't you know it, they chose me.  I have been assigned to the seven teachers of the 3rd grade team, which has proved to be a wonderful fit considering my own child was in 3rd grade last year and I am very familiar with all of them.  I get to take the kids to school, bring them home, see them during classes, give Luke a spork everyday while I work my shift in the lunchroom- it's seriously cool.  The pay is beyond awful, but as with all things in education, what they don't pay you in money, they pay you in time and I am extremely grateful to have all of us on the same schedule with summers off.  Plus, starting Nov. 1st I will have decent health insurance again for the first time in 12 years!  I'm thinking of getting a little shoulder surgery; maybe some preventive care.   It's the little things in life :)

A Stake Presidency Quickie

Today Jacob was set apart as the 2nd Counselor in the Elder's Quorum presidency in our ward.  The entire new presidency and their family's met in the High Council room together while each was set apart.  Right in the middle of Jacob's ordination, the phone of the very counselor in the stake presidency who was giving the blessing, started ringing.  And not just your average ringtone.  No sir. We got two rounds of the James Bond theme song, followed by the voicemail notification chirping of a Star Trek communicator.  Pure awesomeness.  The kids tried not to laugh as long as they could, but they just couldn't hold it in.  Now that is a setting apart I will always remember :)