Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Mad Skillz

Two more drawings from Luke and the land of preschool:

The Snail

The Vampire

Keep it comin' Luke!

Leapin' Lizards!

I was thinking the other day how cool it is that some people are born on Leap Day. I mean, what are the odds, right? (Yeah, yeah, 1 in 1400, I know...) I thought I only knew one person who has a Leap Day birthday and that is Luke's Sunbeam teacher from last year. And then last night my mom drops a bomb on me that her OWN BROTHER was born on Leap Day!! It's like I don't even know you, Mom. But regardless if it is your birthday or not, it is still a whole extra 24 hours that everyone gets to use! As for me, well....


10. Doing 8-Minute Abs 180 times
9. Trying to reach page 15 of The Hunger Games
8. Finding Luke under the blanket on the couch 22 times in a row while playing hide and go seek
7. Creating a secret recipe for my own Krabby Patty
6. Worrying if Ryan Seacrest is actually a twin
5. Laughing hysterically for hours while watching a rerun. Of the State of the Union Address.
4. Saying the word "Barbuda" over and over and over. Go ahead, try it! See?
3. Finally getting my Gator Tickling business off the ground
2. Finding out if CucuFace still can't waterski
1. Celebrating the fact that the USA beat Italy today in soccer for the first time. EVER. In the immortal words of my brother-in-law (Nathan), "In your pizza pie faces, Italy!!" Whoo-hoooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Four and Out

Four things I must tell you:

  1. I finally had the inevitable dream that I knew I was going to have someday. I drempt last night that Jacob was my soccer coach. And then that I showed up to the tournament we were playing in and I couldn't find the team and missed the game. And that Jacob didn't believe me. And then because I was so mad I got some balls and took some shots on goal. And I was incredibly awesome. And Jacob was very impressed with my hidden skills. INTERPRETATION: Being awesome fixes everything.

  2. The top ten will be posted tomorrow. When you see it, you will know why :)

  3. I just got back from my morning run. Yesterday I almost stepped on a squirrel's head while running. Today, and I am not making this up, a CAT jumped out of the bushes and swatted at my legs as I ran by a mailbox. A CAT. An adult, collared, responsible-looking cat. Never once have I been worried about that scenario.

  4. I am completely caught up on all episodes of Psych. Just in time for tomorrow's new episode! If only I put this kind of effort into other things in my life...

Friday, February 24, 2012

File This Under...

"I Thought I Had Seen It All Until..."

1. I saw an episode of the Power Rangers in which they battled some of the Colonists during the American Revolution.

2. Jacob was asked to DJ a dance for a middle school robotics team over in Tampa. Yes, they sent a song request list. Yes, it included the Pokemon Theme and songs by Rick Astley.

All I can say is:

Thursday, February 23, 2012

I've Heard It Both Ways

So while I was perusing around the Internet the other day looking for cool t-shirts about the TV show Psych, I found something really amazing. Okay, okay, I am a little obessessed with that show right now. But you say obssessed like it's a bad thing. However, in my defense, if certain other nameless individuals in my household get to watch Power Rangers or play Xbox for 10+ hours a week, I think I am more than entitled to my own temporary addictions. (Sorry to out you on the Power Rangers, Jacob...) Back to the point at hand! On the website they of course have Psych t-shirts, but do you know what else you can do there? Design your own t-shirt from the ground up. (Google Chrome only.) You pick the color, the fit, the logo, choose from about 15 different cast pictures or other graphics that come from the show, 20 different quotes from the show, etc. and make something completely unique to your liking. You can choose the size of the graphics, text, the location of where it's printed - middle, upper right, off-center, front or back, or BOTH! Seriously, where has this idea been all my life? It gives you everything you need to make an incredibly awesome tv show t-shirt- THAT NO ONE ELSE HAS. It's like they are psychic and could read my mind or something! Given the possibilities it's going to take me at least 6 months to choose a design, but when I finally do, you'll be the first to see it! Actually, you will probably be like 4th or 5th depending on your dedication to the blog, but you get the idea.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Birthday Buffoonery

Today my little brother turns 24. That is so YOUNG. I never thought I would see it that way, but I, being an old, old lady, can only view it as such. It is a long-established fact that I, myself share a birthday with Justin Timberlake. (Don't lie, my cool factor just rose about 6% didn't it?) Well, it got me wondering about who everyone in my family shares a birthday with.

Me- Justin Timberlake, Minnie Driver, Carol Channing
Jacob- Steffi Graf, Boy George, Donald Trump
Cindy- Celine Dion, MC Hammer, Eric Clapton, Vincent Van Goh
Luke- Roy Orbison, Shirley Temple, William Shakespeare

Jacob definitely loses that competition. Cindy should be some kind of artistic phenom by now, what gives?

We also have...

My Mom- P. Diddy, Mathew McConaughey, Laura Bush, Will Rogers
My Dad- Sally Struthers, Beatrix Potter, Jackie O
Brother Chris- Michael Jackson, Robin Leach
Brother Dave- Nick Jonas, Marc Anthony, David Copperfield, Ed Begley Jr. and JC Penney

(I would like to make a prediction that when my mom read her list she made an audible "ewww" sound when she read P. Diddy)

And on this special day...

Brian- George Washington, Drew Barrymore, Jeri Ryan (7 of 9!!!) and The Crocodile Hunter

I think Brian wins. I mean, 7 of 9?!?!?! Lucky!! It is fun to think of these little groups as the cast of some bizarre reality show, isn't it? Perhaps this is the secret to putting together Celebrity Apprentice.

So who is your birthday buddy? Go ahead, use Google for something completely useless today! Oh wait, that's what I do everyday...

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Don't Call Us, We'll Call You

The other day my brother-in-law posted a status update claiming he was a "bad interviewee." Well, Sean, at least you aren't these guys...or are you???


10. The interviewers always use your resume and cover letter to write down a list of candidates that are better than you

9. Your phone goes off four times.....before you sit down

8. Your ring tone is the sound of a falling bomb

7. Interviewer is constantly distracted by your big ears and horrible, horrible ideas

6. Medical schools always tell you they are very interested in your mind, "Not now, but eventually."

5. Your mail comes addressed to "That guy who can't nail an interview"

4. You can't wait to discuss the part in your resume where it tells how you are writing an accurate orbital mechanics system for a fictional solar system for an online text-based role playing game

3. American Express doesn't call you back, but Panda Express won't leave you alone.

2. Before answering any question, you consult with miniature figurine of Tim Tebow

1. Your Xbox gamertag is "ForeverJobless"

Monday, February 20, 2012

I Know You Know

I've been creating my own Psych marathon for the past four days or so. Whaaaat?

Thank you Netflix from the bottom of my heart :)

Saturday, February 18, 2012

She's Going The Distance

I finally ran another official 5k this morning! This would be the first one since Thanksgiving Day when I ran with 1200 people over in Riverview. Today was the Strawberry Distance Challenge in Plant City and it had only a measley 500 people signed up, so it was chump change :) My friend Susie and I ran it together back in 2009 and we both returned this year. She even brought her husband, Bill, along for the torture. She did amazing and shaved off almost 10 minutes since the last time we ran it! Overall, it was a good race. I turned in a good time, just about 26 minutes, which is apparently the fastest I will ever run in my whole entire life. That time put me 6th in my giant age group (30-40) but I am happy with my abilities. Remember, I am a Bingham and have no business running at all anyway, so to not completely suck at it is a victory in itself :)

Plus, who can resist getting a picture with a giant strawberry-headed man wearing a dinner jacket? Not. Me.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Book It

Is it strange that I borrowed the book The Hunger Games last night from my mom and I read the first 4 pages and haven't wanted to keep reading it? I am struggling with this one. That movie version is looking better and better all the time...

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Is it just me?

Or does the new cereal I tried this morning:

Seem a little bit familiar to the breakfast I gave to Cucuface?:

Good to know that cereal makers see us breakfast-eaters as merely animals devouring our boxed kibble. (And kibble is actually not far off from how mine tasted. I think I would have preferred the chicken flavor :(

By the way, I don't think the world needs actually needs any more chocolate cereals. If you can't find happiness in a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles, Puffs or Krispies, you have problems that cereal cannot fix. And you have my pity.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Thug Life

This is how Luke rolls.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Mmmmm...Virtual Chocolate

You might not believe it, but there's actually a lot of legwork that goes into picking out what the best flavored fillings will be for those chocolates in the heart-shaped boxes. I got a hold of an internal memo from the R&D folks at Russell Stover and I thought I might share some of the ideas that didn't quite make it off the ground...


11. Fry sauce
10. Dark charcoal
9. WD-40 with a hint of lime
8. Mint spackle
7. Shrimp nougat
6. Dulce de leech
5. Silly putty
4. Deviled egg
3. Castrol GTX (high mileage)
2. Folger's Crystals
1. Sap

Thanks to my brother Dave and my dad for their help. I sent my dad a text to say, "I finished the list, but how do I insult Obama?" The answer came back: "Tell him he has big ears??" Winner, winner, chicken dinner :)

Monday, February 13, 2012

He's the Honda that made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs

I FINALLY got me a set of those "family" stickers for the back of my car.

What? You didn't think I would just get some plain old normal ones, did you?

We don't do "normal" around here :)

Sunday, February 12, 2012

To Preschool, With Love

And here is another reason why VPK (Voluntary Pre-Kindergarden, which is free in Florida) is totally radical:

Because let's face it, will I ever have a Rodeo day at my house, complete with making a paper bag cowboy vest and a ride-on horse made out of socks, a wrapping paper tube, felt and yarn? Not a chance. But Luke's teacher will :) Yee-haw!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Love Bugs

I put this over on Facebook, but I had to give a shout out over here as well so my parents could see this awesomeness. Yesterday I stumbled on a promotion from the Bronx Zoo, where, for $10, for Valentine's Day, you can name a hissing cockroach in their zoo after your sweetheart. I am not making this up. As the slogan says, "Flowers wilt. Candlelight fades. Roaches are forever." (They ain't whistlin' dixie on that one!) Even better is that if you pay just $15 more you will also get (and I quote) "a hand-painted, artisanal chocolate roach that will give your Valentine something to squeal about." Whoever thought of this idea needs a huge promotion. This fundraiser is absolute genius! All proceeds save the endangered web-footed spotted panda (or something like that) AND they also encourage you to even name a roach after someone you may not have the best of feelings for. Who can resist officially naming a roach after someone you think is total vermin? Don't worry, I am WAY ahead of you on this one. I already put in an order for two: Barack and Nancy :)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

The Way Things Work Around Here

Cindy lost another tooth yesterday. You would think that since I told her on her last lost tooth that the tooth fairy is not real that I would be off the hook from now on. Not a chance. This is how things played out this time...

Last night at bedtime:

Cindy: Okay, mom, I am putting my tooth right here under the corner of the pillow. I am not taking it out of the tooth container I got at school.
Mom: You want me to take the tooth out of the container and leave the container there?
Cindy: Yeah, I will use it for my next tooth that comes out.
Mom: And just what kind of money are you expecting, dear?
Cindy: Well, I have to take a dollar to school tomorrow...
Mom: What for?
Cindy: For those Cupid Grams that they are selling. The ones that secretly come from the parents, remember??
Mom: Oh yeah.
Cindy: So just give me the dollar and I will use that to get the secret Valentine from you.
Mom: This is so weird.

Later that night I completely forget about the tooth (like always) and go to bed.

Even later this morning I go in Cindy's room and take four quarters out of the monkey head change purse on her night stand. I put those under the pillow and take the tooth.

Cindy wakes up and takes her own four quarters to school to pay for the secret Cupid Gram Valentine that is from me that she will receive on Tuesday during class.

Sweeneyville. What a country!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Artist

Did I mention I was babysitting my friend's children for the entire week? Yeah, that Top Ten might be delayed a few days :) But while we're waiting...

Apparently there is a book at Luke's preschool that teaches how to draw simple animals and figures using basic shapes. I have never seen this book, but I know it exists because Luke tells me about it all the time and he keeps bringing me home the absolute neatest drawings I have ever seen. I kinda get excited when he says he has a new one for me. And so lest I hide his light under a bushel, here are the talents of my son:

The Robot

The Horse (or AT-AT Walker)

The Snake

The Alligator

The Dog

We have found that Luke is incredibly studious when it comes to coloring. He always is so patient and will take the time to finish every coloring page in great detail, always coloring everything that is supposed to be colored. Perhaps we have a budding Uncle Sean on our hands??? That would be so cool :)

Monday, February 6, 2012

My 2 Cents

Does anyone else agree with me that last night the stars aligned and the actual Super Bowl game was infinity times better than any commercial that was on? Personally, I thought that all the commercials were total duds. I don't think I laughed at a single one. Such a disappointment! But then again, I like the more witty and clever commercials and this year's crop seemed too dumbed down for me. Good thing the game itself came down to a hail Mary pass for all the marbles in the last 4 seconds of the game. I don't even like New York or New England, but that was a finish!

*Wait, technically there was actually one part of one commercial that I did enjoy and that was the Twinkie reference in the Chevy apocolypse commercial. As you were...

And In case you were wondering, Cindy's cheer camp went good. They kicked all the parents out until after lunch when they would show us what they learned. So as she was walking in to do her "performance" she looked very uncomfortable and nervous. BUT she did do her dance and cheer when it came time and and said she had fun. I did not get the overwhelming sense from her that she found her new calling in life, but at least I see that she did try and wanted to learn. This is a good start. However, the best part was that by some mix-up they had her registered as me. So at the end of the camp she got a certificate saying "Jessica Sweeney is an official Jr. Wildcat Cheerleader!" She was not amused.

A Luke Quickie

Last night we did our Family Home Evening about germs and washing our hands so we won't get sick. It was kind of a 'Teachings for our Times' lesson, you might say. Jacob was asking the kids to name all the places in the house that we touch the most. They came up with the obvious doorknobs, computer keyboard, video controllers, etc. but there was one more that Jacob wanted them to guess and that was the iPod. So he did a little charades for them by cupping one hand and then using his other pointer finger to pretend like he was holding and playing on the iPod. The kids had no clue. So he continued his hand motions and said, "Something that we like to touch all the time???" After what seemed like several minutes of total confusion, Luke finally guessed "Baby kitties?" Excellent guess, young Lucius.

Friday, February 3, 2012

The Adventures of Cindy and Luke

Well, we are slogging our way through Cindy's soccer season. (April cannot get here fast enough...) However, the secret is out; Cindy is not interested in soccer. At least not for now. I think she likes the girls on her team, likes the camaraderie and practices, but she just doesn't love the game. As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him want to be a true center mid. Therefore she finally gets to try something else! A few weeks ago I decided grant the fondest dream of her little heart and let her attend an upcoming McKeel Cheerleading camp. I figured she deserved a break from soccer overload and I truly and desperately want to see her do something dancy/girly. I am just so curious to know if something like this is more to her liking?? Anyway, the camp is tomorrow morning and if Cindy doesn't kick me out of the camp I will give you a full report of everything I see. I'm probably more excited about this than she is :)

And last night in the car on the way home from soccer (no way!) we caught a few minutes of a radio call-in show where a girl was sad because she got dumped. After I changed it Cindy asked me, "What if you like someone and they don't like you back? What happens then?" I just kinda laughed and said, "Nothing, really." And then Luke's tiny voice from the back seat said, "Yeah, that was like at Legoland when I saw this girl and I was about to fall in love with her but she wasn't honest because she wasn't wearing a good shirt that was covering her." It was like EF Hutton had spoken. Cindy and I were totally silent making the "What the heck?" face at each other. And then we couldn't stop laughing. Luke? Falling in love with a girl at Legoland? That boy is so mysterious sometimes! Just the way the ladies like it...

And Cindy would like everyone to know she found a gigantic piece of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in her cereal bowl.

As an official cereal historian and decoder, I can tell you that this omen can only mean one thing: Cindy's year will be long and prosperous. She will make good grades, continue holding her title as the undefeated Uno Grand Champion, and will once again choose a Star Wars-related costume for Halloween. Oh, and the vibes are very strong that everything she owns is currently in a giant wadded up ball under her bed.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

I Hear Banjo Music!

Finally when Jacob smuggles moonshine across the county line, he can do it in style. My souvenir from Cooter's Place in Nashville looks flippin' sweet on Lucy's back window :) Now we just have to perfect that hood slide...

A Grab Bag of Interesting Thoughts and Tips

Well here is something exciting about my birthday yesterday, last night for the first time ever in my whole entire life I took Pepto-Bismal!!! Do I know how to party or what? It was off the hook!!! I was really expecting that pink stuff to make me puke, but it's surprisingly soothing and I think it honestly does work. It settled my stomach pretty quick and allowed me to go to sleep. So while I don't feel 100% today, I am feeling WAY better than yesterday :) Thanks for all the well wishes and messages too. I appreciate all of them :)

By the way, if your birthday is coming up or maybe your spouse's birthday is around the corner, make sure to get on the Internet and sign up for tons of free stuff. I did, and thankfully most all the coupons I got are good for another week. So make sure to get online and sign up with Ruby Tuesday's, Dairy Queen, Coldstone Creamery, Denny's, Moe's Southwest Grill, Arby's and CVS just to name a few. All of these places sent me some pretty good free stuff, so this next week I plan to really celebrate my birthday. No Pepto required!

Yesterday BrightHouse, my Internet provider, called with a special offer. They offered to boost our Internet speed by ten times what we had before for less money for 3 months. I agreed to this and so supposedly we now have speed of 10mps instead of 1mps. (That is not a typo, we live in a non-Fios Internet wasteland and 1mps is all we wanted to pay for.) Unfortunately, I am not seeing any difference in my internet speed. I was expecting something amazing, but Netflix still looks grainy and I still can't remotely launch a satellite to the moon, so I guess the true test will have to be Jacob playing Call of Duty online and me simply thinking of using the Internet at the same time, which is usually all it takes to make him lag and lose the game. So is paying more for "faster" non-Fios Internet really worth the money? I agree with this guy:

My final tip is the website This site is for Netflix subscribers and has all the most popular new movies listed so you can see what has just been added and what is expiring. You can also see what movies have just been queued in the last 5 minutes by the most people. Really helpful! So although I have returned to watching "Psych" season 4 pretty much every day now, still, it's good to know that 'A He-Man Christmas' has been added, just in case I need to watch it.