Monday, February 28, 2011

Z is for Zingo!!!!

Happy last day of February everyone! I thought I would finish up today on the last day of the month. It just feels right :)

Zingo is a game for little kids that Luke has recently discovered and he makes me play it with him about 6 times a day. Every. Single. Day. It is basically Bingo with little tile pictures instead of numbers. I remember when I bought this game for Cindy two years ago, I didn't think it was that fun. But my kids both just LOVE this game! (And it has 220 5 star reviews on Amazon- go figure?) Anyway, Luke at least is very entertaining to play with because he still loves to beat you and thinks it absolutely hysterical when that happens. Here is a little bit of our last game we played this morning...

And yes, he got a haircut :) The need for a summer buzz is already in full effect down here.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Friday, February 25, 2011

X is for Marking the Spot Where Yesterday's Post Should Have Been

If you are wondering what happened yesterday to where I couldn't post this on time, it is due to one thing: TAXES. I just casually started doing them online last night, trying to at least get the basic data entered and get them started and the next thing I know it was 4 hours later and I felt like I was in a coma. Luke had fallen asleep on the couch, Cindy was ready for bed, we missed scriptures and prayer- which is only even more definitive proof that taxes are pure evil. Blecchhh!

So a day late, but worth the wait :)

I went online and did a Mad Lib, the only catch was that I wanted to use words and phrases that all contained the letter X. Harder than it looks! Anyway, here is the result of my excellent experiment:

My New Puppy

We got a puppy fox the other day. She was so cute and experimental -- the most excruciatingly dull puppy you've ever seen! She was barely bigger than our coccyx and sat quietly in my ex-husband's lap on the way home. When we arrived, she could barely hex in the sixty six thousand inches of snow on the ground, so we had to shovel some and xerox a path for her. She got cold very expertly, so we brought her inside and vexed her by the fire.

We named her Maximillian. We were deciding between that and Xanadu, so we flipped a taxidermist to choose. We were also thinking about the name X-ray Security Airport Worker, but it was clear from the beginning that she wasn't. I thought Maxilla would be a great name for a dog, but my ex-husband wouldn’t agree to it. I also would have liked Mexican shanty, because that's where we live, but since ever since she exfoliated on the rug, I'm thinking Xenophobe is more in order.

One of the first things we did was buy a bunch of puppy fox toys. We got a big xanthic ball that texts when you roll it, an extra large boxing glove she can chew on, and an Xbox controller to play tug-of-war with. She's oxymoronic when she plays with her toys! Now if only she’d play with them exclusively, instead of with all our saxophones, too.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

W is for Wow, Your Robot Looks Terrific!

Okay, okay, even Jacob rolled his eyes at me when I told him the title. I'm phoning it in, people! But not without good reason. Today was busy. I helped out preparing and serving lunch to 50 missionaries at a Zone Conference at our Church building for a while, I worked out, and I really did help finish up that robot I mentioned last week. Plus there was dinner, reading scriptures and all that other stuff. Besides, I know you are all on pins and needles waiting to see our creation anyways, so here it is:

His name, according to Cindy, who I just asked this question to right this very minute, is Roger. She is very proud of the dry erase "heart" she drew on the front. I think this is 'A' material, no doubt! :)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

V is for Vienna Sausage

First off, why is it even called that? Yeah, yeah, invented in Vienna or something like that, but it gets no help when it turns out not be actual sausages and just tiny little hot dogs in a pop-top can. Anyway, the reason for my discussion of Vienna Sausage comes from the fact that I got a call from my very excited father the other day telling me had just eaten a 9-YEAR-OLD can of these bad boys ouf of his food storage and they tasted just as declicious (or disgusting- you be the judge) as they normally do when you eat them fresh! Who knew? And to top it off, he even told me that he "chopped them up and put them in his 3-year-old Minestrone Chunky Soup" from food storage. Oh yeah, that's a soup that eats like a meal, all right! In other food news, sadly the Bisquik from 2008 did not pass the test of approval (unless you like pancakes that have the thickness of an envelope, in which case you would love it.) So thanks to my Dad for being the canary in the coal mine! And if you are keeping score of shelf lives, it's Vienna Sausage = Infinity, Chunky Soup = half of Infinity, Bisquik = about a year since you bought it, which I think is unacceptable. We need to fix this problem....

Monday, February 21, 2011

U is for Understatement!

Top 14 Understatements of The Year:

14. Luke gets kind of upset when it’s time to stop playing Lego Star Wars
13. Soccer and Star Trek are a big part of Jacob’s life.
12. Sometimes I don’t know where my car keys are.
11. Lady Gaga tends to make poor fashion choices.
10. The most excruciating pain in all the world is getting sweat in your eyes.
9. My parents and in-laws are pretty cool people.
8. Steven Tyler is a little bit creepy.
7. I want to marry pita chips.
6. Cindy does not understand how to wear a headband.
5. You need to buy an Xbox with Kinect.
4. One Thomas the Train episode sometimes reminds me of the last one I saw.
3. Anytime is good time for either toast, nutella, cereal, chocolate milk, breakfast waffles or an oreo. WAIT A MINUTE! I think I just thought of the best cereal idea EVER! Good thing I have Kellogg's on speed dial...
2. I will sell my first born child to the highest bidder the next time all her newly washed clothes end up as a giant rug that covers her entire carpet. Ebay listing begins in t-minus 12, 11, 10…..
1. Pull-ups and chin-ups are physically impossible to do and the worst possible exercise every invented in the galaxy.

Seriously, you know I could do this all day, right? (Another understatment! HA!)

Sunday, February 20, 2011

T is for Toast

I was wondering about something, do you or your family members have an affinity for toast? Because mine does. In fact, this trait is one of those items that could be added to my "You might be a Bingham if..." list. It seems that my whole family just loves toast. Toast with breakfast, toast as a snack, as an appetizer- whatever, we just need our toast. I know that for me it is very hard to eat cereal without desiring a piece of toast to go with it. I can literally taste it in my mouth when I eat cereal. My taste buds expect the toast. (That's why my current low-carb diet is just about to kill me...) They are meant to go together! And don't even get me started on eggs. It should be criminal to eat eggs without a piece of toast! I remember being a kid and having breakfast for dinner sometimes. One of us kids was always in charge of making the toast. We would have to toast at least two slices per person, butter it liberally and put it in a large round pie tin. A tin full of toast. It was an absolute necessity! When I was little and sick with some sort of stomach virus and couldn't keep anything down, it's always kind of a bright spot when I realized that having to eat toast was usually the first baby step when venturing back into the land of normal food consumption. Or when it was late and us kids needed a little bedtime snack, we had toast! Of course, when eating toast as a snack, it must be eaten with peanut butter and a small glass of milk. Mere margerine will not suffice it to be hearty enough to stand alone and achieve true snack status. But absolutely under no circumstances can you eat it with grape jelly. It's either peanut butter or butter or nothing. But never jelly! Because that is just wrong. This toast obssession is probably all due to my Dad, who has always loved breakfast and who I know loves toast. This is definitely where I get my breakfast infatuation from. And I know my siblings all love toast just as much. This is what made me even write this post- the other day while at my brother Chris' house, his wife Molly was saying how strange she thought it was that most nights before bed, Chris would be in the kitchen eating some toast on a paper towel. Not strange, Molly. He's a Bingham :)

So what do you think of toast? I think it should be the official snack of Polk County and registered as a national treasure. I also believe the scene in Nacho Libre where he and Incarnacion share some toast in his quarters is absolutely magical. I mean, what could be better than sharing toast with that special someone? Well, how about some wild and wacky toast gifts? Jacob, you officially have no excuses come Mother's Day...

Toast clock? Yes.

Toast Wallet? Yes.

Inflatable toast mattress? Triple Dog Yes.

Do I even have to ask?

(Yes, it burns that image into every slice it makes. The Force is just so cool sometimes!)

Saturday, February 19, 2011

S is for So Many Things

Couldn't think of just one thing so here are a few I could have chosen for today...

S is for shorts, which I bought today. Two pairs, knee length, light yet sturdy- can't wait to wear them ALLLLLL summer :) Which reminds me...

S is for sandals, which I need to attempt to fix. My brown leather sandals that were practically molded to my feet broke before Christmas and I can't find a suitable replacement. But I can find a drill and some electrical tape! So now I just need the time to fix those bad boys just in time for...

(S is for) Summer! which is what the weather feels like today. 82 and not a cloud in the sky :)

S is for squeaky clean, which describes the church building now that me, the kids and Karl and DeAnne just got done taking our turn to clean it. Nothing quite like cleaning eleven toilets in a day, is there? Or having Grandma take you to Dunkin' Donuts to celebrate your hard work :)

S is for Saturday, which is one of the best days of the week. Especially when you get to be with family, do some exercise, do a little shopping, play with your kids, and relax- all while having your windows and doors open. Say it with me, "Ahhhhhhh!"

And finally S is for sore, which is what my body continues to be. It is getting better, though. I can count on one hand the parts that hurt instead of needing both of my hands and those of three mannequins to keep count. But we love the workouts; we haven't felt this fit EVER! So s is also for stick with it, which is what Jacob and I both intend to do :)

Friday, February 18, 2011

R is for Robot

I have received a note from Cindy's teacher that next Thursday as part of her homework, Cindy is to bring in a model robot. They are are reading a story about a boy who was a robot and each child gets to build their own to display. These robots will be made from any scrap material that is around the house and the children have been instructed to "let their imaginations run wild." I admit that sometimes I struggle with letting Cindy do her homework completely by herself. It is something I have been working on- letting her do the work and be creative on her own terms. But if this robot just happens to end up looking totally awesome next Thursday, Cindy really is that talented and her mother had nothing to do with its near perfection ;). DeAnne, we will be raiding your garage for spare parts and silver roboty-looking materials, just so you know....

Plus all this robot talk got me thinking about my favorite robots from TV and Film. I am not a huge science fiction fan, but being married to one gives me just a little authority on this topic. So here are my top 5 robots:

5. Optimus Prime
I really only watched the show Transformers because I had older brothers and I only saw the movie because I have a husband. But you have to admit that the leader of the Autobots is a pretty nice guy. He's noble, he's loyal and in the movie he has the best voice ever. He also changes into a sweet semi-truck! Which in the world of robots, I think is quite original.

4. KITT (Knight Industries Two Thousand)
Well, Optimus Prime is a semi-truck, but KITT can drive out of one and onto the highway- at speed. Definitely not your standard-looking robot, but this car could do everything, including drive itself and make jokes. Sounds like a robot to me.

3. Data The lovable green-skinned bridge officer on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Data was a robot yes, but his entire purpose was to become more human, which makes him pretty cool. Plus he gave us the most awesome way ever to say "I'm fine" which is, of course, "I am functioning within normal parameters." Try that one out on someone the next time they ask you how you're doing. Jacob and I say that to each other frequently and I know you are dying to be as cool as us :)

2. Johnny 5
From one of the best movies to ever make it out of the 80's, Short Circuit. Johnny 5 was funny, innocent, kind, smart and able to survive sharing the spotlight with Steve Gutenburg. And best of all, we get robot humor in this movie; "Hey Laserlips, your mama was a snow blower!" Ahhh, good times.

1. R2-D2 and C-3PO Come on, did you really think I would pick anyone else for number 1? In this house, I would be shot dead. I couldn't separate them, though. These guys are a team! R2 is sassy and unstoppable while C3-PO is sensible and pragmatic. A perfect robotic 'odd couple' you might say. Plus R2 has that extendo magical universal computer probe thingy that plugs into seemingly ANY electric device and does exactly what it needs to. Sorry robots, you can't compete with that :)

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Q is for Quiz

As in Facebook quizzes. In case you are not aware,(Mom and Dad) on Facebook you can take about a million quizzes just for fun. Seriously, there are probably over 20,000 quizzes on Facebook that you can take, about absolutely anything and everything, and they are all about a 12 on the 1 to 10 scale of how useless they are. Just off the top of my head, here are a few of the quizzes I have seen that people have taken:

the "Who is your Harry Potter boyfriend?" quiz
the "What state do you belong in?" quiz
the "How evil are you?" quiz (It works on a scale of President Obama to Lady Gaga)
the "Which Disney song reflects the current events of my life?" quiz
the "What piece of furniture are you?" quiz (Seriously, if you need a quiz to know this, you need help. Credenza, DUH!)
the "If you ruled the world, what would it look like?" quiz
the "Who were you in your past life?" quiz
the "What non-human entity are you?" quiz (I think I would be cheese. Pretty sure.)
and not to be outdone, the "Which stupid Facebook quiz are you?" quiz.

Seriously, I could go on, but I won't. I am proud to say that I have never ever taken a quiz on Facebook. Ever. And actually, that's okay if you aren't into taking the quizzes, because there is an application that lets you write your own quizzes for everyone else to take! Shazam! This got me thinking. And if I were to write my own quiz, I would have to go with this one:

The "Which one of the Jimmer's toes are you most like?" quiz. And the answer for everyone who takes it would be: "NONE OF THEM, because each of his toes has the strength of ten men, and sadly, you are just one person."

I'll send it out to everyone tomorrow. Count on it.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

P is for Prayers

There is nothing better than teaching a little kid how to pray. Because when you tell them "you can pray about anything" they actually start to pray about anything :) Here are a few of the best things that Luke has prayed for in the past few months....

"Please bless that I will be good at tricky puzzles"

"Thank you that we are going to the park tomorrow" (when I have zero plans to do so)

"Please bless that mom won't get sweaty while she goes running"

"Please bless that we can pick up heavy things"

"Bless us that we will stop coughing, hiccuping and yawning"

"Bless us that we won't fight with real light sabers"

and the most telling of all....

"Please bless that we can beat that really hard level on angry birds." Hey, some of those levels need divine intervention to be solved, okay?

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

O is for Ouch!

(Which also happens to the be the name of the soccer practice game Jacob made up where all the kids run around and try to kick the ball at each other's shins as hard as they can, but I digress...)

Jacob and I have embarked on a new exercise routine and I now realize that pretty much any exercise that actually involves something other than running is going to make me excruciatingly sore. And this has been a doozy. We are supposed to do this regimen for 90 days. (yes, p90X) Yesterday I did one pull-up, today I am almost a paraplegic. It's so very, very pitiful :( Every time Luke wants me to pick him up I just wince and hope he forgets that he asked me. I honestly think there is not one muscle in my body that is not hurting right now. So none of my arch enemies can attack me right now, okay? I could never fight them off or run away in my present condition. Truce? (Although at the end of the 90 days I would LOVE to fight my arch enemies. I'll use some of that Ken Po. Hi-yah!)

Although it does make me feel a little better knowing that I got sore from exercising and not from doing anything like this:

Now THAT makes you say ouch!

Monday, February 14, 2011

N is for Not Celebrating

Here's the thing: Jacob and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. But wait, I am not a hater either! It spawns from the fact that we got engaged in November and since Jacob went all out for my proposal week (including copius amounts of flowers, chocolates, cereal, gifts, etc.) it was a little much to try and top that when Valentine's showed up a few months later. I was completetly okay with it. And to this day I still am :) I know a lot of people out there really hate Valentine's Day. On the one hand I think it is terribly contrived to have to go out and spend money on treats and stuff for your sweetheart simply because it's a holiday and if you don't you're a heel. Shouldn't we declare our love and devotion of our own free will and choice when no one expects it? However, I recognize that it is much better to have Valentine's Day than National Critcism Day or Club a Baby Seal Day. What's wrong with filling the world with the thoughts of love? It's a very nice senitment! I get it. I am actually a romantic deep down, anyways. Every single wedding reception I DJ, I get a little choked up when the couple's first dance is played. 99% of the time I don't even know the people, but that moment when a couple is first married and they are dancing and you realize that these two actually found someone else in the world who absolutely LOVES them (weird hairdos, habits and all) and has promised to be devoted to them for the rest of their entire lives (in some cases longer ;) it's kind of a powerful thought. It gets to me. But in the end every holiday to me is more fun when you have kids, right? This morning I secretly stuffed a pink dollar store teddy bear in Cindy's lunch box and tied a bag of M&Ms to its neck. I can't wait for her to find it :) I have a red bear for Luke. If I need to put in a place where I know he will look today, I guess I have three options: On the Xbox controller, on the iPod or on taped to the TV. I mean, in the scriptures....

And by the way, this song is one of my favorite first dance songs for a wedding. Cheesey and trite maybe, but I still like it and I have heard it A LOT...

Sunday, February 13, 2011

M is for Million Dollar Idea

I have realized the exact way for someone to become a guaranteed millionaire. I know the exact problem that needs to be solved. A solution which would alleviate so much stress on moms and children around the world and completely revolutionize the morning routine. Are you ready for this? Someone needs to invent a line of little girls socks that are incapable of "feeling weird" once they are put on and a shoe is placed over them. Over the past year I have bought Cindy almost 20 pairs of new socks and each morning we come to blows (to BLOWS, people!) over the fact that NONE of them are capable of been worn because they "feel weird." And I don't even think it is because of the seam at the toe. I can't, for the life of me, figure out why all these socks are totally useless!!! It is unbelievably frustrating. So if this product exists, let me know. If not, and you want a few extra million dollars to play around with, get on this, pronto! I will order your first 50 pairs.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

L is for Lucky Charms

Of all the 117 varieties of cereal that I claim to love, Lucky Charms would have to be up there in the top 10 (chocolate LC being the best variety). I know that people usually have a very strong opinion on this cereal. You either are like me and love them, or you are like my dad and put them in the same category as macaroni and cheese and tootsie rolls, you abhor them. (I'll give you tootsie rolls, but mac and cheese?! Come on, Dad!)

Anyway, I did a little research about this cereal and you will never believe what I found. Based on the myriad of opinions I have heard from family and friends concerning the marshmallows and their peculiar consistency, this will make total sense. Wikipedia: And I quote...

"Lucky charms were created in 1962 by John Holahan. Holahan came up with the idea after a visit to the grocery store in which he decided to mix Cheerios with bits of Brach's Circus Peanuts."
So the speculation is true! Those things are kinda supposed to taste like those circus peanuts! (Which I do like, but only about 1 at a time). I can't believe that is where he really got the idea! Does anyone else find that absolutely amazing? I guess when you are an officiado like me, these things blow your mind.

And just for good measure, here are four more facts about Lucky Charms cereal that will enusure that the next time you are on Jeopardy, you will dominate the category called "History of Lucky Charms":

1. Lucky the Leprechaun was also known as Sir Charms. I actually think that is pretty cute.

2. The original oat pieces were not frosted. They sold much better when they decided to change that. (Good thing they did, otherwise it would be like eating cheerios and circus peanuts, and that's just disgusting.)

3. There have been many different marshmallow shapes since the 60s (clovers, hearts, horseshoes, balloons, moons, stars, etc.) but did you know that among the different shapes that there was once a whale and a green pine tree? (Be quiet, no you didn't.)

4. An advertising company hired by General Mills decided to market the cereal around the idea of charm bracelets, and hence the concept of a cereal with "charms" in them was born.

So the next time you eat a bowl of this magical loot (which is about every 4 hours, am I right?) you can be proud that you know all about it. Which is more than I can say for some of the food I eat...

Friday, February 11, 2011

K is for Kitten

Did you really think I would pick anything else for the letter K? Have you learned nothing from Sweeneyville? What can I say? It's Friday, the letter of the day is K, I love kittens- so naturally here are two quick videos that will prove why cats are unequalled in both their cuteness and in their ability to be incredibly spooky.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

J is for Jumpin' Jehosaphat!

I almost forgot to blog today! I wasn't that busy, but time has just flown since about 4 o'clock. Well, this post really isn't about Jehosaphat or why he's jumpin'. I know I got everyone a little excited. Perhaps another time. No, this post is actually all about Jacob. He just short of twisted my arm to make sure that this post was all about him, anyway. Gosh! I told Jacob that he should be careful of what he wishes for otherwise I could spill some secrets he didn't want anyone to know. His only reply was, "As long as the post is all about my awesomeness, it's okay." Well, in that case! Hmmm, let me think....Jacob's awesomeness...

Since Jacob is a total enigma to most people, (some of you out there I know are still confused on why we are married) so okay, here are 3 Jacob-approved things I can share that are all about his awesomeness:

1. He has awesome teeth. He is 32 years old and has never had a cavity! What's more, he is actually one of six humans on the entire planet earth that flosses his teeth every single day. Every. Single. Day.

2. He is one of the only people I know that reads a self-help/improvement type book and then actually does exactly what it says. Most of us read stuff like that and think, "Eh, I already know this stuff, who cares!" But he really, really takes it all in and will makes changes. I think that's pretty awesome.

3. Jacob will eat just about anything. I can only think of about four things he really, really doesn't like and will refuse to eat; they are kidney beans, water chestnuts, lima beans and almost cherry pie. That last one could have been a dealbreaker had I known this before we were married, but nobody's perfect. For the record, apple pie is his absolute mostest favorite desert or flavor in the entire world. Weirdo.

Behold Jacob and his awesomeness!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I is for I am Incredible!

Somehow, in the last 24 hours the door to the patio was left open and a certain pet rabbit of ours made her escape. Cindy noticed this right before going to school and went from 0 to hysterical in .488 seconds. We combed the backyard looking for Rosa, but I was thinking in my mind that we might not ever see her again. I felt pretty bad and was genuinely hoping that a giant dog or worse hadn't found our little fluff ball. As I was backing out of the driveway, I spied something white on the front lawn beneath one of our neighbors palm trees and our neighbor in his driveway looking at it and shaking his head. Yup, it was Rosa! I crossed two yards over and found her lying there like nothing was wrong. I started to call her name and that was the moment she took off running! But at least it was in the direction of our house. I am sure it was a sight to see as I traipsed across the neighborhood (extra good thing I changed out of my PJ pants this morning), which I am hoping it was only witnessed by that weirdo middle school kid who always gets to the bus stop way early, but she finally ended up cornered in my next door neighbor's yard and I was able to grab her and return her to the safety of her patio oasis. It is a known fact that a rabbit's heart can literally explode when they get too scared, so I was a little worried her ticker would give from all the drama, but she seems to be completely recovered. Let me just say it is dang hard to catch a rabbit!! And I was absolutely amazed that this adventure was able to conclude happily and we were still able to get Cindy to school on time. So yes, I am amazing for catching her, but we all know that the real credit goes to someone on a much higher, divine level who was watching over Rosa and the kids this morning. Tender mercies :)

Hare-y Houdini planning her next escape...

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

H is for Harry Potter

Once again utilizing the all-seeing eye known as Wikipedia, I have learned that there are over 140 spells and charms used in the Harry Potter books. There is everything from Accio (the summoning charm), to Expulso, (which makes an object explode)to even Rictusempra (which of course, causes its subject to feel as though they are being tickled). I am SO glad that one is not real...

But did you know, my little friend, that there are actually even more spells than the ones you can find in the books? I happen to be a close personal friend of JK Rowling and she told me I could share this little bit of HP trivia with you:


10. Deelio Magnus- supersizes your Burger King combo for 29 cents instead of 69
9. Extendus Biblio- extends the due date on your libary books by 24 hours
8. Postum halto- makes the mailman stop at your house even when the flag is down and you have no mail
7. Completego Visitas- Shows that your visiting teaching has already been for the entire year
6. Ingesto Jeopardum- gives the subject the disctinct memory of having dinner with Alex Trebec
5. Repellus Obamas- allows the subject to be happy, industrious, and keep more of what they earn
4. Applex Vanisher- instantly removes all the music from your worst enemy's Ipod
3. Diposeo yellus- Throws away that yellow phone book immediately upon delivery so it doesn't get run over in your driveway for 8 months
2. Sodax Tastum- Makes Diet Dr. Pepper taste more like regular Dr. Pepper (Oh, wait, you don't need a spell for that!)
1. Bloggiato- makes your blog readers believe you are actually funny

Only a complete lame-o would need to use Number 1....

Monday, February 7, 2011

G is for Great

You know what's great? Well, things like velcro, Florida weather in January, getting something from the ice cream truck even though it's right before dinner, when the little neighbor girl from next door tells you about how their new kitten pooped on the carpet and how now she's an "outside only" cat.....Actually, those things are pretty great, but getting back to the matter at hand, here are some commercials that I think are even better:

This wasn't from the Super Bowl (I think), I just saw it on TV the other day....

And even though I didn't really watch the Super Bowl, these two apparently aired during the big game last night. I saw them this morning and I thought they were pretty good :)

Sunday, February 6, 2011

F is for Freaky Fair Food

The Florida State Fair is coming to town in the coming weeks and while I never usually have any real interest in going to the fair, I almost kind of think about actually going maybe if for nothing else that to eat some of the ridiculous food they sell there. You know, like a three foot corn dog or a deep fried Big Mac wrapped in bacon and covered in chocolate on a stick. (Don't laugh, there's a carnie somewhere hard at work on that right now...) Anyway, after doing a little research, here are some actual, honest-to-goodness, fair foods you can find across this great nation of ours. I have broken it down into four categories:

Things I Wouldn't Mind Trying

Mashed potatoes on a stick

Chicken fried bacon

Hot Beef Sundae

(I LOVE that this is a real product...)

Things I Really Want to Try

Deep fried pickle on a stick
(But only if it comes with Baconnaise dipping sauce)

Chocolate covered bacon

Pizza cone
It's pizza, it's a cone, it's a Pizza Cone! Genius!

If I Don't Eat This I Will Consider My Life a Gigantic Failure

Deep Fried Avocado

Deep Fried Oreo

Krispy Kreme Hamburger
(I love saying it, thinking about it, imagining myself eating it- I have never been more proud to be an American that at this moment)

Things That Make Me Question Our Purpose in the Universe Just a Little

Deep Fried Butter

No, seriously, it's deep fried butter.
Why, Texas?? WHY?!??!

Deep Fried Coke?!

I admit, I like a Diet Coke just as much as the next guy, but this is just flat-out unnecessary. Besides, did these people not get the memo? They have DEEP FRIED BUTTER now! Everything else just seems a little desperate.

So which one would you wait in line for? The correct answer is: All of them! (Except the Fried Coke, I hear some of the ingredients in that syrup are a little unhealthy.)

Saturday, February 5, 2011

E is for Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day!

This is too a holiday! The Internet told me so, so nanner, nanner! It falls every year on the first Saturday in February (but is not to be confused with Eat Cake for Breakfast Day, which is, of course, every January 31st). Therefore, out of respect for the blog and its loyal readers, this morning in Sweeneyville we all ate ice cream for breakfast! With waffles and bananas to justify it a teeny bit and to not make the kids use the phrase, "But remember that one time you let us eat just ice cream for breakfast!" as some form of double standard blackmail torture against us for the rest of our lives. I was incredibly tempted to just make the waffles out of yellow cake mix, or heck even some glazed donuts, but I got my head on straight and I have to say it was the best breakfast I have had in some time. And I eat A LOT of breakfast, so that is saying something :)

We let the ice cream get a little melty :)

Luke heartily approved of this breakfast!

And in case you need the best waffle recipe on the entire planet, here it is.

Friday, February 4, 2011

D is for Delightful

Here are 3 things that I find delightful:

Jacob's handywork

(This is the sweet chin-up bar he made and installed in the garage. Perfect for our latest exercising endeavours...)

Cindy's spelling tests

Brings a tear to my eye!

Luke's relaxed and easy-going nature

Luke really is an incredibly pleasant child. A little shy sometimes, but delightful for sure :)

Thursday, February 3, 2011

C is for Cake

Need a good laugh? I thought so! I mean, it's probably been a few hours since you watched Groundhog Day and you are drooping yet again, right? Never fear, direct from a website called (where you can see what happens when cakes "go horribly, hilariously wrong") I give you some cakes to ponder. And then laugh your head off at. While there are soooo many ways a cake can go wrong, today I will focus on the finishing touch of the sentimental writing. If there is anything to learn from these, it's that the term "professional" might be used a little loosely in some situations...

**To be official, all these photos are from They are not mine, I never said they were.


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

B is for Bananagrams

Even if you haven't played it before, most of us have at least heard of this game, right? I first played it over the holidays with my family (Sweeney side) and now I am a little addicted to playing it online through Facebook. It's kind of like Scrabble, but each player has their own board and has to use up all their letters to make complete words before anyone else. Also similar to Scrabble, Bananagrams lets you use two letter words; things like it, is, as, me, to, am, etc. However, it also lets you use all those really ridiculous two-letter words that no one has ever heard of, words like xi, ka, ee, ae and ea. There are actually 101 acceptable two letter words! And since I have been religiously using them to annihilate other Bananagrams players online, I thought I might as well find out if any of them have a meaning that might actually cause me to use it in a sentence one day before I die. So here are a few....

1. Qi- (chay)(in Oriental medicine, martial arts, etc) the vital energy believed to circulate round the body in currents. Also known as chi.

2. Ta- (tah) British slang for thank you.

3. Ai- (ah-ee) a three-toed sloth, Bradypus tridactylus, inhabiting forests of southern Venezuela, the Guianas, and northern Brazil, having a diet apparently restricted to the leaves of the trumpet-tree, and sounding a high-pitched cry when disturbed.

4. Hm- (hmm) used typically to express thoughtful absorption, hesitation, doubt, or perplexity. So the correct spelling of Hmmm is actually Hm. Hm!

5. Ka- (kah) a spiritual entity, an aspect of the individual, believed to live within the body during life and to survive it after death.

6. Ba- (bah) an aspect of the soul, represented as a human-headed bird.

7. Oi- (oy) a type of punk rock featuring violent, racist lyrics, associated esp. with skinheads. Oy!

8. Re- (ray) the syllable used for the second tone of a diatonic scale. Or "a drop of golden sun" for us dummies.

9. Aa- (ah-ah) basaltic lava having a rough surface.

10. Xu- (soo) an aluminum coin and monetary unit of Vietnam, the 100th part of a dong.

So could I ever use these words in a sentence? Let's see...

The other day I paid 4 xus for an oi album. As the first sounds came out of my cd player, I thought, "Hm, dying ais sound better than this!" It was terrible! Those guys couldn't even sing re on key. It negatively effected my qi so much that I probably should now scrub my eardrums with aa. Pretty sure that even my ka didn't survive that album! Ta, but next time I'll buy the album with the picture of the ba on the front :)

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

A is for Average

According to the Internet (which is the source of all truth in the universe), here are some "averages" for you to consider:

Average SAT score for the class of 2010: 1509/2400
Average typing speed: 38-40 wpm for adults in a working environment
Average speed of a black ant: 196 inches per minute
Average temperature for Strange Creek, West Virginia in January: 32°F
Average number of friends a person has on Facebook: 130
Average number of pairs of shoes a woman owns: 24
Average cost of a wedding: $27,800.
Average cost of a Mormon wedding: $1.50
Average number of times people move in a lifetime: 16
Average number of times my brother Dave moves in a lifetime: 4,027
Average height of an NBA player: 6 feet 7 inches
Average American credit score: 692
Average ring size for a woman: 6
Average age for residents of Sarasota, FL: 50
Average lifespan of a Major League baseball: 7 pitches
Average amount of cereal eaten per year by an American: 11.9 pounds
Average if that American happens to be me: 336 pounds

And finally...

Average number of times Cindy will ask you if you are ready to do something exciting you mentioned you MIGHT do later in the day before you are ready to do it: Numbers do not go that high.