TOP ELEVEN THINGS I LEARNED ON MY CRUISE:
11. There are some very, VERY unfortunate tattoos in this world.
10. While there are many women in this world that would not dare put on a bikini in public in their present physical condition, there is another very, very LARGE majority of women who apparently don't care. At all.
9. There is a law irrevocably decreed in heaven that you cannot work on a cruise ship and be a white American.
8. The long lost twin of everyone you know can be found on a cruise ship (For example, I saw the twin of Brooke Towns, Christina Spafford, of my college roommate Jen, Moe the bartender from The Simpsons and Natalie from The Facts of Life
7. Be nice to all cruise ship employees. The bouncer at the club could later be your waiter at dinner and then the guy fastening your harness on the rock wall and then working the front desk, or the guy playing the drums in the calypso band by the pool at sunset. You can't escape them.
6. It is utterly shocking that Budweiser has not built their own cruise ship by now. It seems like a no-brainer.
5. The guy who invented Dramamine should have his own postage stamp or at least a golden bust at every pharmacy. He completely saved my vacation!
4. If the magical Internet offers you the option of a handicap accessible room when booking a cruise- TAKE IT! The cruise Gods are smiling on you.
3. Drunk guys will still hit on girls who tell them they are married and celebrating their 11th anniversary on the cruise with their husband
2. The national bird of the Bahamas is the Flamingo, even though it is not native to the country. What? I enjoy a good fun fact just as much as anyone.
1. Jacob enjoyed this cruise an additional 29% simply by the fact that all the ship lingo and jargon mirrored that of the Star Trek Enterprise. (Captain, quarters, engineering, decks, bridge, docking, registry, being chased by the Romulans out of the delta quadrant using evasive maneuvers...) We were disappointed however that there was no actual red alert system :( Just a goofy tone that sounded like the captain was going to tell you to put on your seat belt. Sigh....
We even found Ten Forward! Nice work Ensign Sweeney :)
2 comments:
Your '#1' might actually get my hubby on a cruise. I will have to read this to him when he gets home.
Nathan and I are thinking about taking a cruise this summer, is it worth it? Did you enjoy it and what cruise line did you take? Sounds like fun, and too much food!
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