F is for Freaky Fair Food

The Florida State Fair is coming to town in the coming weeks and while I never usually have any real interest in going to the fair, I almost kind of think about actually going maybe if for nothing else that to eat some of the ridiculous food they sell there. You know, like a three foot corn dog or a deep fried Big Mac wrapped in bacon and covered in chocolate on a stick. (Don't laugh, there's a carnie somewhere hard at work on that right now...) Anyway, after doing a little research, here are some actual, honest-to-goodness, fair foods you can find across this great nation of ours. I have broken it down into four categories:

Things I Wouldn't Mind Trying

Mashed potatoes on a stick






Chicken fried bacon












Hot Beef Sundae

(I LOVE that this is a real product...)

Things I Really Want to Try

Deep fried pickle on a stick
(But only if it comes with Baconnaise dipping sauce)






Chocolate covered bacon










Pizza cone
It's pizza, it's a cone, it's a Pizza Cone! Genius!

If I Don't Eat This I Will Consider My Life a Gigantic Failure

Deep Fried Avocado









Deep Fried Oreo








Krispy Kreme Hamburger
(I love saying it, thinking about it, imagining myself eating it- I have never been more proud to be an American that at this moment)

Things That Make Me Question Our Purpose in the Universe Just a Little

Deep Fried Butter

No, seriously, it's deep fried butter.
Why, Texas?? WHY?!??!








Deep Fried Coke?!



I admit, I like a Diet Coke just as much as the next guy, but this is just flat-out unnecessary. Besides, did these people not get the memo? They have DEEP FRIED BUTTER now! Everything else just seems a little desperate.


So which one would you wait in line for? The correct answer is: All of them! (Except the Fried Coke, I hear some of the ingredients in that syrup are a little unhealthy.)