It Would Be a Crime Not To Read This

Just to clarify, by saying "Top Ten Tuesday" I really meant that I would write the list on Tuesday and publish it on Wednesday.  We all understood that from the beginning though, right?  Well, if not, this week I threw in a little bonus for you...  


As mentioned on Monday, Jacob got summoned for jury duty and is officially on "stand-by" status until Friday.  As life is always the best inspiration for art, I give you this week's judicially-themed top ten list. 


TOP TWELVE SIGNS YOUR TRIAL IS NOT GOING SO WELL


12.  Judge is playing "Words With Friends" with Prosecutor

11.  Bailiff asks what size jumpsuit you wear

10.  Jury foreman is your neighbor who's hedge trimmers you borrowed and never returned

9.   The only time your attorney shouts "Objection!" is during your testimony

8.   Judge has to call a recess so he can stop laughing at your attorney's opening statements

7.    Two of your rats ran away, one rat died and the third grew an extra eye.  Oh wait, that's a sign your clinical trial is not going so well.  Sorry.

6.   The courtroom you are assigned to doubles as a dry cleaners

5.   Juror #4 keeps mouthing the words "You are so guilty" at you

4.   After closing arguments,  judge reminds jury that 'guilty' only has one 't' and 'imports on tap are two for one at Happy Jack's until 3 pm only'

4.  Everything your defense team knows came from watching season 4 of Matlock
3.  Your attorney keeps asking "Are you my client?"
2.  Your only character witness is Octomom
1.  7 of the 12 jurors voted for Obama   


Once again, thanks to Dave and my dad for writing most of this list.  Seriously, what other family do you know that writes a top ten list together by text message every Tuesday? It's a beautiful thing :)