Sunday, October 31, 2010
Fall Festival
Saturday, October 30, 2010
A Luke Quickie
Friday, October 29, 2010
Halloween Parade 2010
Yesterday was part 2 of the Halloween trifecta for my kids this year: The Bartow Halloween Parade. Since my mom's dental office is on the street where the parade is held, we always get some prime seats. And this year we even made the shade! Which was fantastic because it was almost 90 degrees. Another Halloween tradition down in Bartow... Anyway, the parade was good, the kids got more candy, they got to see their friends, and Ronald McDonald and a pony dressed as a sheep. What more do you need?
Yeah, yeah, bring on the candy, lady. Just put it right in there...
Awh, crap. They're all lemon. Why did I even bother to come this year?
Wait, Thomas is here! Well, that makes it all worth it :) Chillin' with Olivia and Maddie.
And long may this tradition continue!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Here, Kitty Kitty!
Clearly, this cat his given up in probably all areas of his life.

And finally, maybe cats really are trying to take over the world....

Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Degree of Difficulty
Let's face it, we ROCKED this assignment!
(P.S. Thank You, DeAnne for the pipe cleaners and googly eyes! You're a lifesaver!)
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I need your help...again
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Merfairy: Take One
Since Halloween falls on a Sunday this year, there is not going to be any official neighborhood door-to-door trick-or-treating for my kids. Mom of the Year! So I am hoping that the combination of Cindy's school Autumn Eve Festival, the annual Bartow Halloween Parade combined with the Fall Festival at our Church this Saturday will be more than enough trick-or-treatery. (And even if it isn't, oh well, sucks to be them :)
So here is part one of the Halloween trifecta: Cindy's Autumn Eve. Last year I took both kids. This year I wised up and left Luke at home. That's brutal, I know, but it is just too hard to please both of them at the same time. So Cindy and I got some good one-on-one time while Dad did soccer practice with Luke. Win-win! She decided just the day before to be a "Merfairy" (see Barbie Mermadia for reference). So this is what we came up with:
Mermaid tail on the bottom! Ta-da!
I took a ton more pictures last year at the school, so this time around I decided to be cool, calm and collected with the camera. Only the most important events. So here ya go: An elated Cindy on a horse.
Pony rides were a huge hit this year!
Donut on a string. Delicious and fun!
Cindy was a little too wylie for me to catch her on the super huge jumper house. I'll get you, Gadget!
Finally, we had to get some cotton candy. This one's for you, Aunt KaRyn!
The best part of this costume has got to be the pink hair. Cindy was in heaven. The body glitter powder, however, may have been a serious tactical error on my part. Every day since Thursday I have found more and more of my things that are absolutely covered with glitter. Last Friday Lady Cucuface could have doubled for Edward Cullen in the sunshine. However, there is a point where I draw the line. There will be no sparkly Iron Men in this house!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Let Me Blow Your Mind
I am not sure why we, as a society, tolerate the totally inept packaging of sour cream. Giant tubs are useless. Squeeze bottles are the way to go. I mean, you don't see the guy at Taco Bells getting out a little container and trying to spread around a huge dollop of sour cream on your taco with a spoon, right? Of course not! He has a GUN for sour cream! A GUN. It comes out in a convenient steady stream for even distribution. So basically a few weeks ago I decided to go pro. I put my sour cream (only a cup or so at a time, in case I do need a larger quantity from the tub) into my dollar store ketchup squeeze bottle and miracles have ocurred in my kitchen! I just thought you should know about my condiment revolution. And maybe the sour cream people should know too. Oh, and also the peanut butter people. And definitely the guacamole people.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Attention: We have a wiggly tooth!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Television's Finest?

As a person living in the land without cable, my TV choices are limited to begin with. But you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a cop/crime show on television. First, there is the Law and Order series, which I believe is under some sort of Federal mandate that it be airing on a channel somewhere at least 20 hours out of every day. (Personally, I think the spin-off Law and Order: Food Stamp Patrol is a bit of a stretch....) But then we also have Rookie Blue, Dark Blue, Dark Blueish Rookies,CSI: Miami, CSI: New York, CSI: Tatooine, Bones, Cold Case, Lie to Me, NCIS, Castle, The Closer, COPS, The Mentalist, Southland, Criminal Minds, Detroit 187, Memphis Beat, Rizzoli & Isles- and those are just a few of the ones currently on the air. Not to even mention the fact that Hawaii Five-0 and The Rockford Files are both being remade and coming back to TV this season. (I swear If CHiPS comes back I am taking a hostage...) Seriously? Is there really nothing else to have a show about? It's always about murder. Bo-ring! It's always about insurance money. Yawn! It's always about a mistress and revenge. Predictable! Or kidnapping, or covering up a crime and trying to get away with it, or killing your transvestite boss because he made you work one too many swing shifts. Is this really all we have to choose from? I think we need to ban all future cop/crime shows. There is just no need for them. We have plenty already! And here are the only 5 of those shows we really need:
1. COPS- The original reality TV show. Because this truth is stranger than fiction nearly 100% of the time. And like a bad accident, you just can't turn away from it....

2. Psych- Because it's hilarious. And if there's gonna be murder and crime, let's at least make it enjoyable, am I right? Plus, the facial expressions of Gus are unequaled anywhere on television.
3. Medium- Because it combines a little sci-fi and a tiny creepiness factor into police work that is about as far as I need to go into the world of death and disturbing violence.

4. Alias- I have said it before and I will say it again, Jennifer Garner on this show is one of the only actual, believable, butt-kicking girl spies I have ever seen. Every other character is too over the top in looks and attitude. I believe she really exists somewhere.
5. Monk- Because to make a good show, you need a really unique character to begin with. And 'unique' is definitely the right word for this guy.
Honorable mentions: Numb3rs (as a math teacher's wife, I am required to endorse this one), CSI Miami, Matlock, Moonlighting, Remington Steele (I am my mother's daughter), The Unusuals, and The Sweeney (even though I have never seen this British cop show, obviously it must be pretty awesome).
Don't get me wrong, cop shows have their place. It's just that it's apparently in every television time slot from 8am-8pm. Well, I gotta run, Grey's Anatomy is on. It's a drama that takes place in a hospital! Isn't that original and cool!!??
Monday, October 18, 2010
A Cindy and Luke Quickie
I was helping Luke say prayers last night. Usually he tells me he doesn't need help, but he was acting so silly about it I started helping him to get him on the right track. He was doing fine repeating after me, but then in the middle of the prayer, he did a big growl and said all whispery, "I don't need any help!" So I said, Okay and he started up by himself again. Well, a few seconds later, he sneezed. So I whispered, "Bless you!" He again got all mad and said, "Mom! I said I don't need any help!" Then he did a huge sigh and said very grouchily, "Bless me.....ughhhh...." and went on with the prayer :) Oh how I love that little boy!!
Friday, October 15, 2010
Picture Day
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
I Report, You Decide
1.
Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this?"
2.
A dog goes into a telegraph office, takes a blank form, and writes: "Woof woof. Woof Woof Woof. Woof Woof Woof Woof."
The clerk examines the paper and politely tells the dog: "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price."
The dog looks confused and replies, "But that would make no sense at all."
Mom, you are not allowed to leave a comment regarding joke #1. It is hilarious, end of story.
Monday, October 11, 2010
The Big Reveal!
a circular saw
bandsaw
roto zip saw
jigsaw
wet tile saw
door planer
pvc pipe and couplers
pvc cement
pvc primer
sandpaper
hand wrench
drywall
6 pieces of door trim
36 feet of wall trim
one million drywall screws
insulation panels
electrical wire
2 blue boxes
2 gallons of paint
14 boxes of tile
7 sheets of glass tile accents
utility knife
cordless drill
regular drill
chisel
scissors
flat head screw driver
phillips head screw driver
a level
12 tubes of caulk
caulk gun
nail gun
staple gun
finishing nail gun
wood putty
6 cans of texture
6 bags of grout adhesive
2 x 4's
1 x's
64 sq. feet of peg board
a shop vac
3 c-clamps
8 gallons of joint compound
Sunday, October 10, 2010
It's Tentastic!
1. At least 14,000 extras and 15,000 animals were used during the filming the movie The Ten Commandments.
2. Famous people with October 10th birthdays: Brett Favre, David Lee Roth, and Tanya Tucker. And out of my 179 friends on Facebook, ZERO of them have a birthday on October 10th.
3. Here are the ten events that make up a Decathlon:
100 yard dash
Long Jump
Shot Put
High Jump
400 meters
110 meter hurdles
Discus
Pole Vault
Javelin
1500 Meters
4. Ten things that came up on Google when I typed in the word “ten” in the search box:
Tennis elbow
Tendonitis
Ten commandments
Tennessee
Teneroc high school
Ten ton hammer
Ten thousand villages
Ten years after
Tenacious D
Big Ten
5. I just looked at Jacob and asked, “Quick, what is a shape with ten sides called?” And without hesitation he said, “Decagon.” He really is a Geometry teacher! (And then he proceeded to tell me that a shape with 13 sides is called a “Thirteenagon." I'm not falling for that one, mister. So I just Googled it and NO WAY, Jose! I think it might be real, but more importantly; it is almost a veritable Googlewhack- just 2 RESULTS! I am still in shock…
6. A ten gallon hat is often thought to be large enough to hold ten gallons of water. This is not true (unless you have an exceptionally large head). The gallon in "ten gallon hat" derives from the Spanish galón meaning braid. So a ten-gallon hat is a hat with a braiding around the brim.
7. Don Carter became the first athlete of any kind to sign a $1 million (U.S.) endorsement contract, inking a multi-year deal with Ebonite International in 1964. He was a professional ten pin bowler. Boo-yah!
8. The edge of each dime has 118 reeds, or small grooves milled into it.
9. Here is the 10th picture, from the tenth picture folder on my computer (entiled "Bingham Beach Trip"). Ha! I LOVE this picture of Cindy. Best one I have ever taken :)
And finally......
10. Top Ten Rejected Top Ten List Ideas
10. Top Ten Ways to Steal Cable
9. Top Ten Roman Numerals Between ii and xviii
8. Top Ten BYU Football Victories of 2010
7. Top Ten Reasons It's Better to Build Your Laundry Room Yourself
6. Top Ten Twelve Apostles
5. Top Ten 11 Herbs and Spices
4. Top Ten Obama Speeches
3. Top Ten Vowels (Including Y!)
2. Top Ten Episodes of Dora The Explorer
1. Top Ten Things Better Than Reading This Blog
Friday, October 8, 2010
A 3-year old's Guide to the Galaxy
First, wake up and put on your Iron Man mask. No worries, it looks awesome with dinosaur pajamas!
Awh, heck, cutting corners never works. Go and get the full Iron Man costume on. Now we're talking business!!
It borders on pleasure overload, but next head to the couch where you will watch Return of the Jedi and look completely adorable at the same time.
Great movie! Next, go find Lady Cucuface and snuggle and play. Who cares if she was peacefully sleeping? She is the family pet and we have play-on-demand in this house, dangit!
That reminds me! If it's been over 6 hours since you watched this cat video, fire it up! We have a quota to reach, you know.
Ah, I love that one. Time for lunch! I know the movie made you a little sleepy, but don't worry, you can totally fall asleep halfway through your sandwich. Just hang over the chair and it's actually pretty comfortable.
It's 1 O'clock: Fake mustache time! I love this part of the day :)
And what's on the menu for afternoon snack? Yep, it's one of those giant suckers you only see in old cartoons when a villain is trying to entice a child. (Or when a child from the 1940's is dressed like a sailor and tap dancing.)
Almost bedtime. Cuddle up with your favorite sibling and watch some Tinkerbell. I mean, some Iron Man. Tinkerbell is for sissies. I never watch girl movies.
Finally, drift off to the land of Nod, while keeping your eyes mostly open. It will freak out your mom, which is great revenge for that wretched zucchini she made you eat earlier :)
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Only in the South
The business card a very odd man left the other day when asking if he could give me a quote on trimming my oak trees. Only in the South.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Russian Velvet, If You Please
Click here to play the game.
And after a bit of further research I was able to get ahold of a top secret memo from the executives at Valspar. According to the memo, here are last year's....
TOP SEVENTEEN REJECTED VALSPAR PAINT NAMES
17. Mystic Liver
16. Sun-dried Gauze
15. Flaming bagworm
14. Artisan Truck Stop
13. Vintage Gizzard
12. Whisper of Bolus
11. Shimmering Cess
10. Moldy Fudge
9. Jaundice Everlasting
8. Barely Bruised
7. Cream of Elmo
6. Bloody Pulp
5. Fungal Monsoon
4. Hard Boiled Hornet
3. Spiced Gopher
2. Spearamint Mistake
1. Septic Bisque
Let's just say that 2009 was a rough year for turnover in the Valspar marketing department...
AND, that my awesome laundry room will be debuting in T-minus 7 days. Next Monday all shall be revealed!!!
Friday, October 1, 2010
2 Luke Quickies
The other day Luke and I were in the car waiting for Cindy to get off the bus. While we were waiting he was out of his carseat and happily playing with a little train named Percy. Then he spied a stormtrooper action figure wedged down under my seat. I fished it out and said, "Awesome, now it can be Percy Vs. the Stormtrooper!" (hoping he would catch my vision of having them have a pretend battle with each other.) He did not catch my vision. Instead he got really excited and asked, "OOOh! Do we have that movie????!!!" Come to think of it, a Star Wars/Thomas mash-up movie would be flippin' sweet! For now, this photo is closest mash-up we get:

Yet again, I love the Internet. And so does Luke, who can't stop looking at this picutre and smiling.