Top Ten Little Known Facts About The Pilgrims
10. Real reason they fled England was to escape Simon Cowell.
9. Those Publix salt and pepper shakers everybody loves--never officially authorized by the Pilgrims.
8. Hat, belt and shoe buckles really made of plastic to make airport screening faster.
7. Strict Puritan beliefs prohibited making little turkey sandwiches out of dinner rolls at the end of the meal.
6. Pilgrim men secretly angry that they always had to be shirts and Indians got to be skins in touch football.
5. Teenage Pilgrims were subject to dunking in the public square for greeting the Indian Princess Sacajawea with ‘Sup Sac-J!’
4. Women caught cheating were actually given a choice as to whether they would wear a scarlet A for adultery or a scarlet K for Kardashian.
3. Totally made up the name ‘Plymouth Rock’ because ‘Plymouth Sandy Place Near Some Trees’ wasn’t cool enough.
2. Pranked the Indians by slipping them a slice of Tofurkey when they weren’t looking.
1. Goodwill and harmony of first Thanksgiving dinner was disrupted by argument over whether it was called stuffing or dressing.
What kind of person calls it dressing? It says it on the box: Stove-top "Stuffing." Duh.