They are called "Top Ten Lists" and I think we all need one right now.
TOP TEN WEIRD DREAMS THAT I, JESSICA, HAVE HAD SINCE THE START OF THE OLYMPICS
10. Me and Elfi Schlagel sit around the Olympic torch and make s'mores
9. Elders Phelps and Lochte baptize my rabbit
8. I pole vault over the Tabernacle and into Old Faithful
7. Ryan Seacrest scores a perfect twelve for his synchronized swimming routine with a Tyrannosaurus Rex
6. After eating a giant plate of spaghetti, I show everyone my new back tattoo of Tim Daggett
5. I have to climb 36 flights of stairs to reach the top of the medal podium and my silver turns out to be a York Peppermint Patty
4. Jacob becomes Captain of the USS Enterprise (I didn't say all the dreams were about the Olympics...)
3. I set a world record by throwing a gummy worm 881 yards
2. My three day pommel horse routine ends when I dismount flawlessly into a dune buggy
1. Usain Bolt runs on ice skates and crutches and still wins the 100m dash
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