Sunday, January 27, 2013

Look Deep Into My Brain

I had the thought today that since my blog is also part journal, I probably once in a while ought to kinda, sorta, maybe actually write something a little deeper than just stories about armadillos in my backyard or SpongeBob memes.  So here is a post that delves a into the inner workings of my gray matter....

Cindy made a C on her report card last semester.  I was a little devastated by this because up to this point she has been a straight A machine. (Hello, FCAT!)  So ever since that report card we have been diligent about emailing the teacher concerning her progress, carefully reviewing all her assignments with her, teaching her to take her time when reading and answering questions, etc.  Well, she told me last night that she already saw her report card for this next semester.  I was very anxious to know what she got!  But she said it was still a C :(  I was really bummed out because I knew that she had been trying.  I knew we had been helping her and she wanted to do better.  So I was disappointed.  Just like her.  Now, on the other hand we have Luke.  Granted he is in Kindergarten, but still, he is on cruise control.  He knows all his sight words, he made a 110% on his first spelling test, he never gets in trouble.  He is golden right now.  So thinking about the different situations I find each of my children in, I had a thought about the story of the Prodigal son.  And how the non-straying son was a little miffed at the attention and happiness over his loser brother who decided to be good.  Personally, I never could really identify a whole lot with the Prodigal son.  I have always been a straight arrow, I always made good grades, I never had any major, personal testimony crises, etc.  But the experience with Cindy and her grades has made me see that much of the rejoicing over the Prodigal son had to do with rejoicing over "progress."  Over the weeks as we have helped Cindy and looked at the grades that have come home, we have rejoiced over her progress.  Her successes, however small, have been difficult for her.  Getting a 100% on her timed math multiplication facts was a big deal.  The fact that every day she wants to try and do better is exciting.  It makes me happy.  I find real joy in watching her overcome things that are hard for her.  I understand that when she finally brings home an A in the future, I will be so proud of her because I will understand how hard it was to get.  I think I will almost throw a party too. So now I think I identify with the father of the prodigal son who was so happy over seeing his son make progress;  in seeing him want to change; in overcoming things that were hard and being humble enough to change.  I don't love Luke any less because Cindy is one day going to bring home that A and we will be ecstatic about it. The fact is that one day Luke could be in the exact same boat as she is now.  And I would have the exact same love and offering of help for him that I gave to Cindy.   Making progress and deciding to accept help and be better than we are is hard.  And it deserves to be celebrated :)  Does any of that make sense?  And now you know the reason I don't do this very often :)

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