September 21, 2011
UD Management Group
611 K Street NW Suite 3
Washington, D.C. 20001
I am not expecting a response from this letter. It’s for your information only.
I ordered a magazine from one of your young grifters in Lakeland, Florida, last year and, of course, the magazine never arrived.
I have called you several times and have been promised my money would be returned and, of course, it has not been.
I should have known better but my white guilt got the best of me and I gave a check to one of your apprentice con men. Oh well, live and learn I suppose.
But even though I will never get my money back, I can, perhaps, keep some other guilty white guy in Polk County Florida from contributing to your scam.
I have decided that it will be my goal over the next couple of months to hand out 500 of the enclosed cards to people I meet.
When I go to Walgreen’s, the clerk will get a card. When Domino’s delivers my pizza, the delivery guy will get a card. The staff at my dentist’s office, the people I go to church with, my neighbors and the lady in the toll booth on the Parkway will all get cards. If I get to 500 cards handed out before your lying shysters hit town again around Thanksgiving, I’ll start on another 500.
I know my little protest will not make a significant dent in the bottom line of your thieving enterprise, but it will make me feel good. And it might even save a few hundred other unsuspecting suckers from falling for your annual swindle.
Lakeland, FL 33812
Reference # 662049
Here is what is printed on a little business card that is enclosed with the letter:
This Card Is A Friendly Warning:
Do Not Buy Magazines
From Door-To-Door Salesmen
THIS IS A SCAM!
You think you are helping a young man earn points for a trip
or a scholarship by buying his overpriced magazines.
UD MANAGEMENT GROUP WILL CASH YOUR CHECK BUT YOU WILL NEVER EVER RECEIVE YOUR MAGAZINES.
Two weeks later...
¡Señor Refundo! A genius the likes of which the world has never known...
So there you have it! The foolproof formula for a successful refund is as follows: 1 cleverly saracstic letter + 1 printed business card of doom = World domination!