TOP TEN REJECTED CENSUS SLOGANS

So I am pretty much wrapping up my work with the Census. I only have 3 people still working at this point- a blessed far cry from the 16 I had at one point in time, and since Jacob and Cindy will officially be done with school next Wednesday, I have decided to be officially done next Saturday. Yahoo! And what am I taking away from this experience you may ask? I will tell you.

1. A nice little nest egg of spending money.
2. A terrifying look into Government-run projects.
3. The desire to not work an actual job the rest of my life.

But most importantly, it has given me reason to write this Top Ten List. And I think we can all agree that the past 8 weeks have been worth it for this little jewel alone.

TOP TEN REJECTED SLOGANS FOR THE US CENSUS

10. Accuracy schmaccuracy!
9. Kickin' butt and takin' names! (No, really, 'cause we take down your name and stuff)
8. Enumerate this!
7. The US Census: Letting your neighbors rat you out since 1790
6. You can count on us to count you twice!
5. Collecting 96% less information about you than Facebook already has
4. You do the math! Because we're a little foggy on that part, actually
3. Two, Four, Six, Eight- hiding in your bushes is really great!
2. Becuase without us, how would you know how many immoral, lying, crooked politicians you need to represent you in the House of Representatives. Hmmmm?
1. We take the 'sense' out of Census

Move over, Census! 2010 is not all about you, okay? It is really all about THIS:



I can't wait!

Sneaky Backblogging

I need to take this opportunity to document the following things that have not yet made it on the blog over the past few months:

Never give Luke an ice cream cone while he is wearing a shirt. His pot belly is the collection point for the melting runoff. And never give Cindy an ice cream cone unless you are prepared for dancing and shenanigans.



We now have a tire swing!

Thanks to my dear friend Karin, who gave me the tire :)

A few weeks back I went into Cindy's classroom at school for a special "Mother's Day Tea"- which, very thankfully, turned out to be "Mother's Day Sprite." Seeing as how we do not drink tea, Cindy was almost in tears when she brought the initial invitation home. Oh, sweet little Cindy :)





A few weeks ago Luke went into his room while trying to take off his church clothes. Then it got really quiet and this is what we found. Buttons 1, Luke 0.



Cindy is now swimming without floaties. She still has to have her flippers and mask on, but she is doing about a million times better than before. And it is all because of Aunt Linnley, master swim teacher extraordinaire! No seriously, Cindy will tell you all about it :)



Hear ye, hear ye! Let it be known that Cindy requested salad for dinner 4 times last week! Her romance with Ranch dressing continues. I'm so happy!!!

Lost in Translation

You know how you help your kids say their prayers when they are first learning? You say a phrase and then they repeat it? Well, Luke has decided to start calling an audible on some of the things I tell him to say. Not sure if he just thinks my suggestions are lame or maybe I just give him too much at once and he can't remember it all. But seriously, this kid is cracking me up! Here are the actual last few examples of his prayer translations:

Me: "Thank you for this day...."
Luke: "Please bless we can go to the new park...."

Me: '"Thank you for our blessings...."
Luke: "Please bless I can have a giant birthday cake..."

Me: "Help Luke to sleep good..."
Luke: "Please help Mom to be nice to Cindy..."

That last one hit a little too close to home.


And one more for the road:

We are doing some serious potty training around here this week. Yesterday Luke did so good and made it almost the whole day without an accident. At about 5pm I heard him go in the bathroom by himself, and when Jacob knocked on the bathroom door, Luke said he was going and didn't need help. Awesome! Then about 15 minutes later I noticed that his pants were all wet. I asked him, "Didn't you just go potty in the toilet?" And he said, "Yeah, but I didn't take my pants off." Noted. We will review the procedure for removing pants before sitting on the potty.

30-Day Compliment Fest

Okay, we are now moving on to the next 30-Day Challenge! Mark Twain once said, "I could live for two months off a good compliment" and I think he was right on the money. As I think about the times when I have received an unexpected compliment, they have really stuck with me for a long time. So my new project is working on giving compliments. Genuinely. In my life I find that I think compliments all the time, but rarely do I speak them. So this 30-Day Challenge is all about learning to talk and saying the kind words I am thinking. But to clarify, it is not about making up fake things to say or going back in time and making amends with people, but more about saying the things that I am genuinely feeling in the moment. So watch out, I might just be thinking something kind about you! Actually, I do all the time, but this time you might just find out about it :)


P.S. Technically I am doing two challenges at once, but only really blogging about one. I am doing thirty days of ab workouts now, just as I did 30 days of working out my arms- but that gets pretty old and boring for eveyone else, so I won't really mention it again...

Georgia was on my mind

So I decided to go there this past weekend. Actually, we bought some new speakers for our DJ business off eBay and they were in Chattanooga, TN. However, we made a deal with the seller to meet just before Atlanta so I would not have to be in a car for eleventy twelve hours at a time. Bless hid name to the third generation for making that concession. Anyway, my mom came with and we had a good time in the car for 16 hours. Mom is a great co-pilot. If you ever need to take someone along on a road trip, take her. Here is why: 1. She brings great traveling snacks. 2. She is good at reading mapquest printout directions. 3. She is up for adventure and doesn't criticize you too much when you choose the absolute smelliest and most disgusting "Stuckey's" in all of southern Georgia to stop for gas. Seriously, I must have radar for that- never trust me to choose the gas station. But we had some good times. We stopped in Tifton at the Adcock Pecan factory world outlet cafe gift shop place-thing and loaded up on our Georgia booty. For me, it was Candied Pecans, Dark Chocolate Covered Pecans, Roasted Pecan Syrup (did i ever tell you that I LOVE pecans?) and a basket of Peaches for Jacob. AND best of all I got some sweet postcards. I can't wait to send anything that says Okeefenokee on it! For mom it was some peaches, some quirky BBQ sauce for my Dad (who is a collector of BBQ sauce bottles and the like) and of course postcards. She put me to shame by buying 20- mostly for my dad's stockpile he keeps year round. And best of all we stopped in Valdosta, GA to have dinner with my brother Dave and Misty and Addie. I only took one picture on the whole trip and here it is:


Oh man, that girl is soooo cute! We only stayed an hour or so, I had to make it back to the Stake Center in Lakeland by 10pm, where Jacob was DJing the stake dance and awaiting my arrival. We pulled in there at 9:56pm- what timing! And then Jacob hooked up the speakers into his current DJ system and blew everyone's eardrums to absolute smithereens. Besides the day he married me, I am pretty sure it was the happiest moment of his life :)

Thanks again for going with me, Mom. You are the best!

Insert your own joke here

Like throwing a softball to Albert Pujols....


"Somebody catch that disgusting, sniveling rodent! Oh, and make sure you get that furry little critter on the floor too."

Rat infestation plagues presidential Rose Garden!

Secret Service Director: If that rat is going to be part of this press conference, can someone get him a teleprompter?
Secret Service Agent: President Obama already has one, sir.

Oh, I could go on for hours....

What's the big idea?

Okay, if you have been following along, you know that I wrote my brother-in-law Sean (who is serving an LDS Mission in Pennsylvania) a postcard a day, for 30 days. Or something like that. I was pretty close :) Anyway, I have still been writing him postcards, and admittedly I have turned into kind of a postcard freak. I have been scouring Lakeland to buy them, buying some off eBay and just the other day I received the super sweet metal postcard I found online. But now I think it is time to take it to the next level. So here it is:

I hereby declare, Monday, June 7th as

"EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD WRITE TO ELDER SWEENEY DAY"

By "Everyone in the Whole Wide World", I really mean "Sweeneyville Blog Readers and People from Facebook"~ same thing, right?

Here is his address:

Elder Sean Sweeney
1974 Sproul Road, Suite 206
Broomall, PA 19008

So find a unique postcard from your city or town, find something off-the-wall and wacky or heck, make a sweet postcard! Just be sure to mail it on Monday, June 7th.

Nope, it doesn't matter if you know him or not, just send him a note, tell him whatever you want, or make up something juicy for the office missionaries to secretly read. Feel free to tell him how awesome I am, or how amazing my blog is- you know- the standard stuff. Plus, I can ask him to pick his favorite. And wouldn't you like to have that distinguished accolade?? I think so. So let's get crackin'!


Elder Sweeney, all the way to your left. Looks like a guy that would LOVE getting elventy twelve thousand postcards, right? YOU BET!

The Right to Bare Arms

Okay, so my 30-day arm challenge was technically over about 5 days ago, but I really needed the chance to go lap swimming one more time before I posted pics.

So as far as a before picture is concerned, here ya go:



What? It is totally accurate. I was a spongy weakling.

And now, well, take a look for yourself!



In hindsight, maybe those human growth hormones weren't such a good idea.

Okay, okay, enough fooling around, here is my real arm:




It may not look like a lot, and the lighting in this picture suggests I am imprisoned in some sort of mental institution, but I think my 30 day experiment was a success. I mean, the feeling is what I was going for more than anything. I just wanted the squishy, flabby feeling to go away. And for the most part it did. Just lots of free weight exercises (3-8 lb weights), lots of work on the triceps, some push-ups, and swimming. Plus, I have concluded that freestyle swimming is the greatest arm exercise in the entire world. Which explains why I am horrible at it :) And most of the free weight exercise I did was at night while watching TV or talking to Jacob just before bedtime- maybe 20 mintues a night. Sometimes I did the weights while typing this blog. Multi-tasking at its finest!

Tomorrow I will post about the 30 Day challenge of writing Elder Sweeney. I have more news to share on that one- and it concerns all of you :)

Pop Quiz!

This following picture shows an Underwhelming Feat of Amazement because:


a. There is actually a little room for more dirty dishes in the sink
b. There is only 1 item that absolutely does not belong on my window sill, instead of 19
c. The saucepan that contained the macaroni and cheese was empty when it was brought to the sink
d. I threw that washcloth from across the dining room (easily 15 feet) into the sink and it landed perfectly draped on the faucet neck as you see before you.

The answer is all of the above, but D was the reason for the post. I wish you could have seen it! As my only witness, Luke just didn’t give me the props I deserved on that one.