Friday, November 27, 2015

Happy Belated Thanksgiving

It's that time of year again when we pause to reflect and give thanks for all the blessings we each have.  And right after that is the time we make fun of all the ridiculous items donated to the annual County food drive! 

First up is this extremely appetizing "Bacon Dressing."  So basically what you are telling me is that someone made a salad dressing using the same stuff I drain off of my food and pour in my yard to kill weeds?  


Here is this year's winner from the "Non-edible (but I can kinda sorta see where you might have thought it may have been a different kind of oil)" category. In their defense, coconut oil is all the rage nowadays.

Okay, but seriously, who even uses this crap?

Sweet flippin' follicles, this stuff is amazing!  My hair feels so shiny and strong! Where do I buy this?? 

According to the package, this crust mix is Step 1 of making a delicious no bake cheesecake.  Step 2 is realizing you do not have Step 2 or 3, and Step 3 is being sad.  


I love Kalamata olives as much as the next guy, but I am not sure that making it into a sandwich spread is really going to entice people to find out how delicious they are.

 And according to a recent survey, here are the Top Ten Least Popular Spread Flavors for 2015:

10.  Peppermint
9.  Squid
8.  Licorice
7.  Hot Pocket
6.  Turtle
5.  10 year old gravy
4.  Earthworm
3.  Cantaloupe
2.  Barbecued Bat
1.  Pine

Okay, seriously, if you have an extra 10 minutes, click this link and visit a gallery of the weirdest REAL Japanese Kit Kat candy bars flavors you ever saw in your life.  The Japanese; they do what they want.

Life Pro Tip #12:  If you are ever on Jeopardy and the answer is "This drink was considered to be the prized potion of ancient kings", well, here ya go.  Don't forget to specify "vanilla decaf" when you tell Alex the answer.

Finally! Something normal and totally appropriate for the food drive.  A humble bag of turkey gravy mix.

Let me just check the code date on this thing...Only missed it by TEN YEARS.  So close!

How is the package still intact??

It was a barn burner, but coming in right behind the turkey gravy mix, is this expired Ragu from 2006.  Not only is it a hearty, deep red color, it also comes in convenient bottle-shaped form even after removing it from the jar.

Well sure, you have the sauce, but what is going to taste just right with 9 year spaghetti old sauce?

I know, how about these 5 year old Udon noodles?  Italian sauce over Japanese noodles "traditionally crafted" in Clinton, Michigan; it's a match made in expiration heaven! 

And finally, this year's "Careful, Don't Want to Give Too Much" award goes to this bag of airline pretzels..

I said, like, Dotty, LIKE you.  And by "like" we really mean "resent."

No worries, I really like all my readers.  
Happy Thanksgiving from Sweeneyville :)

1 comment:

Kelly said...

Anyone know where I can score some of that sweet vanilla decaf? You didn't throw it out right?!?!?