Tuesday, July 15, 2014

So Long, Brazil

It's over, folks!  The World Cup has officially come to an end.  While some people might be happy about this (*cough*Molly*cough*), I am a little sad.  And not just because I picked Brazil to win it all and they turned out to be only slightly better than the Harlem Globetrotters.  It's mostly because it gave us something free to do almost every day for about four weeks, and well, now what are we supposed to do?  But there were highs! There were lows! There were thrills, chills, missed shots, moments of glory, choking, dives, flying headers, snorkeling raccoons- it had everything!  So in the name of posterity, I present you with:

My Top Ten Moments of World Cup 2014
(But not necessarily in the complete and total correct order because I 
really couldn't rank these if I absolutely had to)

10. Spain's shocking early exit
9. The Suarez bite
8. Chile and Costa Rica playing the part of the little engine that could
7. National anthems sung with such gusto!
6. Debating the best goal of the tournament...
(My list goes 1. Cahill 2. Van Persie 3. James Rodriguez 4. Jermaine Jones 5. Messi)
5. Coach Sabella and his fainting episode of glory
4. The vertebrae heard round the world  (Are you tell me Neymar was actually injured?!)
3. The Men in Blazers post game panic room reports
2. John Brooks' goal
1. Brazil's defensive implosion of the century versus Germany

Honorable mentions: Miguel Herrera's heart on his sleeve, James Rodriguez's gigantic bug on his sleeve and very, very, very, VERY sad Brazilians.

Wait, were you thinking that was going to be one of my usual hilarious top ten lists?  No, that was a real list of real moments.  Here is one of my usual hilarious top ten lists:


10.  Iniesta was in the process of refinancing his mortgage during the game versus Chile
9.  The coach of Algeria and the coach of Costa Rica have the same sized hands
8.  During training camp Fred tried three different shampoos before deciding to just keep using Prell
7.  John Brooks dreamed he scored the game-winning goal; Van Persie had a dream he worked at a Save-a-lot and everyone paid him in baby carrots
6.  The Brazuca ball by Adidas was originally supposed to be red, white, black, green and fuschia and not red, white, black, green and orange
5.  Bob Ley is Alexi Lalas' life insurance agent
4. At the beginning of the tournament Julian Green bought 4 postcard stamps, but by the end he had only used 3!
3. Manaus is home to a 4 pound cricket named Phil
2. Through the entire group stage, Chicharito's cell phone was never more than halfway charged 
1.  44% of this year's World Cup referees don't like sour cream

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