1. I suck at patching drywall
2. While obviously very contrived and totally scripted, Duck Dynasty is hugely entertaining
3. Chris Wondolowski will never sleep well again for the rest of his life
4. Luke doesn't wear "shirts"; he wears "napkins with sleeves"
5. As long as we own a generator, hurricanes will be magically repelled from Florida
6. Never ask a rhetorical question in Senior Primary