If you were a remote control, where would you be?

We have now been missing the remote to our main television for almost 3 months. We have absolutely no idea where it went, but curiously we believe Luke had something to do with it. Yesterday the remote for our bedroom television went missing and a complete upheaval of the entire house has yielded neither remote! This is crazy! I am however, quite proud of the fact that we can survive without remotes. This is a testament to the little amount of television we do watch. We do not have cable, only broadcast stations with a pair of rabbit ears. So when that whole new DTV switchover comes in February 2009 and you are asking yourself, "Who still uses a television with Rabbit Ears???!!" You will know one person that does. But back to the search...I have looked in toy boxes, closets, drawers, and pretty much any place that is about 2 and a half feet off the ground. It is baffling that we can't find anything! Of course, maybe it went in the toilet. After all, that is where my cell phone was the last time I could not find it. I know we get along fine with the remote to the main TV missing, but the bedroom TV is ten times worse because we mounted the tv in the upper corner of the room, just in case we were going thru withdrawal not watching tv in the doctor's office waiting room. So there is pretty much no way we are going to get up OUT OF BED and change the channel. So sad. We were going to fashion a very long wooden dowel as the channel changer for the main TV because the sofa is only about 4 feet away. However, we would need some sort of mideval javelin to reach the tv from our bed. And so the search goes on. Was it in the trash? Is it long gone by now? Should we just go and get the "universal" remote and end our misery? Never!!! I don't want to live a world where a one year old has that much power over people thirty times his age.