How Could I Have Forgotten?

I can't believe I did not remember this for yesterday's post. Something that ALWAYS makes me laugh...

BYU Police Beat!!!! (directly from the pages of the Daily Universe)
(and I am not making these up)

A faculty member claimed someone entered his office in the Snell building and took football tickets from his desk. The police checked the seats during the game but there was nobody with his tickets.

Someone stripped the left front turn signal off a 1987 Dodge Raider in the 2nd level parking lot in the JFSB. The estimate damage is $25.

A female student reported that someone was tapping at her window at John Hall in Helaman Halls Sept. 3 and she saw a mannequin head on a pole. There were 15 people in the area with two heads on poles. The case is closed and there are no suspects.

An older male was reported for suspicious activity after someone noticed him opening all the washers and dryers in the laundry at Wyview Park. When he was confronted it was learned that he had personal items in each of the washers and dryers.

Jan. 24: A witness reported a suspicious male standing outside the Joseph Smith Building at 10:30 a.m. The male was wearing a black cloak and was singing to himself. He had been there for 45 minutes. Upon being questioned, the male said he was waiting for his class to begin and was happy. He said he was cold and was singing to keep warm.

April 11: BYU police received a call that four male students were using the Helaman Halls pool even though it was not open yet. When the police officer arrived he was able to locate the students because they were the only students walking home wet.

April 14: A student called BYU Police when she saw a creepy looking person smoking by the Administration Building.

June 2
A blind deer was found by a resident at the Wymount Terrace. Provo Animal Control was called and they came and took care of the animal. They knew it was blind because it was running into things.

May 31
A student called and reported suspicious behavior at 11 p.m.. A car had been running around the law school parking lot for 30 minutes, police said. When the officer arrived the male explained he was teaching his girlfriend how to drive.

April 8: A 6-year-old boy called the police when his 9-year-old brother would not let him watch television. BYU police checked the situation to make sure the boys were supervised. Both boys were fine.

And now a joke that is quite timely... (Thanks, Christina!!)

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem, just let me in,' says the senator.

'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'

'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the senator.

'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he
realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises ..

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

'Now it's time to visit heaven.'

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'

The senator reflects for a minute, then answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above...

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

'I don't understand,' stammers the senator. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?'

The devil looks at him, smiles and says.......

'Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.'