It's not that I don't appreciate that Jacob works his guts out to support us, I do. Really! But let's face it, I kind of consider 'having to work' as one of those things that makes you a man. You gotta work and provide for your family- it just goes with the territory. But to walk a mile in his moccasins for a week or two (and he does wear moccasins everyday, being Choctaw and all) certainly helps me see things with a different set of eyes. For example, I am constantly in an opposite rhythm than Jacob most days. When he is getting home and wanting to veg out, I am ready to leave the house and see the outside world. When he is starving and waiting anxiously for dinner after walking through the door, I am moving like a tortoise because I have been eating all day, and, clearly, what's the rush? And for the most part I decide that he is the weird one and must conform to my way of feeling. But after working for a few weeks full-time, I am realizing just how taxing the routine can be and how totally justified he is in his thinking. I get it now, honey. I am sorry for not understanding that more clearly :) And it is not just empathy for Jacob, it is also for my Mom, who has worked ever since I can remember and had FOUR kids to manage at the same time! I am working part-time with two kids and I can't get a load of laundry done to save my life. It's incredible! So thanks for working, Mom. I don't think I ever understood enough how difficult that was/is. And to my Dad too :) You both are great examples to me. Alright, enough already! Quit reading this excellent blog, and get back to work!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Can I borrow your moccasins?
Well, I am on my 4th week of working for the Census and I gotta admit, I am BEAT! It has been over 6 years since I worked any sort of regular, daily job- full or part-time- and I think it has turned me into a giant sissy. When I had Cindy and stopped working, I pretty much felt like the most worthless, lazy bum there ever was. I was used to working all the time. Full time, part-time, half-time, hammer time, whatever. Having lots of irons in the fire to make ends meet was what Jacob and I did best. All the time. Now, I have to say, that not being at home all day is just plain disorienting! I simply feel like I have ZERO time for anything. I mean, the real reason I applied for this job was for the money. I thought I could get in and get out quickly and make a little cash for my efforts. Plus, this job is guaranteed to not to last forever. Unless all my people quit or get fired, which is definitely not out of the realm of possibility... But I think the real value I am getting out of this experience is empathy. 
It's not that I don't appreciate that Jacob works his guts out to support us, I do. Really! But let's face it, I kind of consider 'having to work' as one of those things that makes you a man. You gotta work and provide for your family- it just goes with the territory. But to walk a mile in his moccasins for a week or two (and he does wear moccasins everyday, being Choctaw and all) certainly helps me see things with a different set of eyes. For example, I am constantly in an opposite rhythm than Jacob most days. When he is getting home and wanting to veg out, I am ready to leave the house and see the outside world. When he is starving and waiting anxiously for dinner after walking through the door, I am moving like a tortoise because I have been eating all day, and, clearly, what's the rush? And for the most part I decide that he is the weird one and must conform to my way of feeling. But after working for a few weeks full-time, I am realizing just how taxing the routine can be and how totally justified he is in his thinking. I get it now, honey. I am sorry for not understanding that more clearly :) And it is not just empathy for Jacob, it is also for my Mom, who has worked ever since I can remember and had FOUR kids to manage at the same time! I am working part-time with two kids and I can't get a load of laundry done to save my life. It's incredible! So thanks for working, Mom. I don't think I ever understood enough how difficult that was/is. And to my Dad too :) You both are great examples to me. Alright, enough already! Quit reading this excellent blog, and get back to work!
It's not that I don't appreciate that Jacob works his guts out to support us, I do. Really! But let's face it, I kind of consider 'having to work' as one of those things that makes you a man. You gotta work and provide for your family- it just goes with the territory. But to walk a mile in his moccasins for a week or two (and he does wear moccasins everyday, being Choctaw and all) certainly helps me see things with a different set of eyes. For example, I am constantly in an opposite rhythm than Jacob most days. When he is getting home and wanting to veg out, I am ready to leave the house and see the outside world. When he is starving and waiting anxiously for dinner after walking through the door, I am moving like a tortoise because I have been eating all day, and, clearly, what's the rush? And for the most part I decide that he is the weird one and must conform to my way of feeling. But after working for a few weeks full-time, I am realizing just how taxing the routine can be and how totally justified he is in his thinking. I get it now, honey. I am sorry for not understanding that more clearly :) And it is not just empathy for Jacob, it is also for my Mom, who has worked ever since I can remember and had FOUR kids to manage at the same time! I am working part-time with two kids and I can't get a load of laundry done to save my life. It's incredible! So thanks for working, Mom. I don't think I ever understood enough how difficult that was/is. And to my Dad too :) You both are great examples to me. Alright, enough already! Quit reading this excellent blog, and get back to work!
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