My Official Review of Captain America: Civil War

I will neither confirm nor deny that we skipped school as a family a few weeks ago to go see the new Avengers movie.

It sure looks like we did

I had heard some pretty glowing reviews of this movie heading in to it, so my expectations were insanely high.  Not always a good thing.  But generally speaking, if a movie has Captain American in it, it's hard to screw up.


Pros

Captain America.  Lot and lots of Captain America.
Ant Man's hidden talent
Spider-Man's completely unknown face and adorable innocence
Bucky and Falcon's obvious affection for each other
"Dude dresses up as a cat and you don't want to know more?"
Marissa Tomei and RDJ reunited!!  (See Only You for reference)
Plot was a little thin to me, but I guess you do what it takes to make all the Avengers fight each other.   Because, let's face it, that was awesome!
The scene of all scenes when it comes to Captain America
Luke did not have to use the bathroom during the entire movie



Cons

No Hulk
Way too long and it dragged in places
The whole "prison in the middle of the ocean" or "secret lost hiding space buried in a cavern in Russia with dry ice fog and weird containment chambers" is getting really cliche
Screenplay not as punchy and funny as I had hoped
Stan Lee's cameo
So how exactly are Black Widow and Hawkeye not dead by now?
Vision.  He is not on my list of Top Ten Avengers.


400 bonus points for Rhodey sustaining an actual injury and negative 80,000 points for Disney making a movie that included the United Nations. Overall I give this movie 4 out of 5 shields.  #teamcapforlife