A Jacob Quickie

Somehow BOTH of our alarm clocks did not go off yesterday morning.   Our normal wake up call is at 5:05 am so Jacob and I can get up, eat breakfast and get him on his way to Seminary.  So yesterday I just happened to open my eyes and look at the clock and see 5:27 staring back at me. (Insert mini-freakout here.)  I quickly woke up Jacob, and while he took a 30 second shower and got dressed, I was able to blend up a protein shake and put some leftovers from yesterday's dinner in a container for his lunch.  He came out 5 minutes later, dressed and ready.  We verbally did a checklist of everything he needed to have before he left; his lesson, his lunch, and his breakfast- check, check and check!  He stood there for a moment to catch his breath, looked at the clock (it was just barely 5:35), and then realizing he was completely ready with seconds to spare he looked at me and said smiling, "New alarm clock time?"  Um, no.  But maybe one day you can be a fireman.

The real miracle in all of this is that Jacob's lunch was the leftovers from the missionary zone conference I helped with yesterday over in Brandon.  So not only did he not miss out on lunch, it was going to be super delicious.  Here is a pic of the ladies and I at the Zone Conference.  There were about 65 missionaries there- about a third of them were sisters.  Once again Linnley, my BYU apron was a HUGE hit :)

And those two people next to Susie are figure skaters at Busch Gardens.  We found this out after he did a back flip outside on the lawn just before loading up his car.  And that is exactly what I would do if I were a professional figure skater.

Weekdays between 4 and 6

If there was ever a meme that described my life, this is the one. And it's usually the latter....

For Grandpa Sweeney

Last night during FHE we read a story in the Friend magazine about a girl who wasn't a very good runner, but she never gave up and finally ran a race without stopping.  As we were talking about the moral of the story, Luke said, "Grandpa Sweeney was a really good runner.  He ran really fast all the time."  We agreed with that assessment and then Luke asked us, "Did Grandpa Sweeney ever win the gold medal?"  We kind of chuckled and I said, "No, I don't think he ever did." To which Luke replied, "Oh, so he just got the silver?"  Yep, he got the silver :)

The Takeaway

So what did we all learn this weekend?  I will tell you:

1) The Texas football team is WAY worse than we all thought.  Sorry, Longhorns. You might be in for a rough season.

2) Jacob might still have a chance at a super soccer posterity. Luke had his first soccer game and the reports from Jacob is that he did pretty well!  He is the shortest kid on his team, sometimes by a full head or more, but he is very fast.  He gets that compliment a lot from his coaches.  So when the stars align and Luke is paying attention and not talking to himself in an imaginary land, he can really hustle and get where he needs to be.  I went to his practice on Friday night and asked Cindy to take a picture or two for me.  Um, yeeeeeeah.  This is the best we got:

He's moving so fast- he's blurry!!

3) As a parent, volleyball is the best sport your child could ever pick to play.  It's inside, on a nice wood floor, with air conditioning, no grass, fire ants, mosquitoes, or a glaring hot sun and it's rally scoring!  How much better could it get?!  Maybe hockey would be better because it would be colder, but that is also way too much equipment.  So while Jacob was with Luke, I was with Cindy at her volleyball game.  Her team lost all three games last week, but won all three this week. Surprisingly, her attitude this week was much better.  And I managed these two fine photos:

Cindy's sky-high serves got her four points in a row :)  

4) And finally, if you stop wearing contacts for over a month and then decide to put them back in, they will feel like plywood.

A Luke Quickie

Last night I was telling the kids a story.  This was the one were I tell them that once upon a time they were walking along the beach and found a magic lamp and a genie appeared who gave them each one wish. This time I changed the story from being just Cindy and Luke, to include me and Jacob. I kind of set them up because I was dying to hear what the kids would say when I asked them to tell me what Dad "wished for."  It didn't disappoint because when I asked Luke what Dad wished for he took about a second and said, "That he would never have to go to the beach again?"

Incidentally, Cindy thought he would want "a house made of vegetables."  As for the children's wishes, Luke went with 100 chocolate bars, Cindy went with a dog, and since I had a wish too I went with free running shoes that fell from the sky.  Talk about a great day at the beach!

The Dawning of the Age of Aquarium

A while back I bought some tickets to the Florida Aquarium off of Living Social.  I had never been there and was pleasantly surprised that according to my GPS it was only 37 minutes away in Tampa.  And as Monday was a teacher work day in our county, I figured the place would be empty over there.  And it was!  As a side note, I am declaring myself as a professional Florida "Off-Season Ninja." When you live in a tourist attraction, there is just no reason not to be.  Here is what we found.... 

Horseshoe Crab Lagoon. We were all too wussie to touch one. Too bad Grandpa Bingham wasn't there. He would have to picked one up and held it in the air.  And guess what, they have 10 eyes. True story!

Even though I have seen plenty o' gators in the wild, this guy totally gave me the willies and reinforced why no one ever swims in a lake down here.  Those gator hands look like they could strangle a guy.  'Cause that is how gators kill you, actually.

Luke and the Goliath Grouper (which can grow to be 800 pounds). 

Shark Tank, Ooh-ha-ha!  Cindy loves sharks.

Actually, Luke really does love sharks.  He especially loves hammerheads.  I learned during this visit that Luke has read a bunch of books at school about underwater animals.  I was pretty shocked at all the different facts he was telling me.  

Cindy finally got the courage to touch some starfish in the "No Bone Zone."

 Double sting ray action!  They had a pool where you could pet them, but again, we are sissies and did not make an attempt.  Plus the water was kind of deep and smelled really fishy.  Imagine that!

It's a miracle she will even go in the ocean.

 I think of all the animals in the entire aquarium, this guy gave me the biggest case of the heebie jeebies.  He was in this very dark part of the aquarium and it was dimly lit and he was kind of glowing and it is a giant Spider Crab that will grab your legs and chew them off.  I got dizzy just looking at this guy, which is what happens when I see real spiders in real life.  Man, I hate spiders.

Here is the "Finding Nemo" tank.  Always a crowd-pleaser.

The jellies were pretty sweet, they had lights that changed their colors.  And the river otters were pretty much the cutest, playful things you ever saw in your life!  Forget swimming with dolphins- otters would be way more fun.

Here are my children shaking fists of courage at the rat snake.
Glass makes you feel very powerful.

This is a video of the "bait ball" at the aquarium.  Also known as "that giant school of fish in Nemo that made shapes and gave him directions."

And when you go outside the aquarium, you see this! Mocking you!  My kids were pretty obsessed with the ship.  When we went down to the water park they were staring at the ship and waving to people getting on.  Take me with you!!!  Seriously, Linnley.  March 21st. Bahamas. Plan on it.

The best part of the Florida Aquarium had to be the splash pad called Explore a Shore, which my kids loved.  It was scorching hot outside and this was the perfect way to cool off and a good way for me to "rest my eyes" and not worry about them drowning.  

Cindy achieved her lifelong dream of becoming like Merliah Summers, the famous Barbie surfer.  Luke achieved his lifelong dream of riding a plastic dolphin.

Best day ever!!!

The Twilight Zone

As a DJ I have always had this fear in the back of my mind that one day I will be doing a dance and nothing I play will work to make people dance.  All the usual favorites will bomb and I will be standing in a room full of people who are sitting down and staring at me.  Well, good news! I don't have to be afraid of that happening any more because it happened last night at the single adult dance I did at our Stake Center.  To say that "you never who will show up" to a single adult dance is a complete understatement. Sometimes it is a pretty 'young' group; sometimes they are a more mature crowd. Sometimes they want mostly 70's music and other times they want only the newest tunes.  Saturday I got about 20 single older Spanish ladies.  And Latin music is all they wanted. Which isn't a problem until you realize A) I am very white and B) I have about four Latin songs. And for the five or six non-Spanish people at the dance, they sure as heck weren't going to dance to regular music by themselves in front of everyone.  It was an interesting predicament.  Slow songs were a complete no-go.  I did three rounds with ZERO on the floor and then had to go the rest of the night with none.  That is DJ death, by the way.  I had played out all my Cha Cha slides and Cupid shuffles by 9:45 and was trying to save anything by Pitbull for at least ten o'clock.  Longest three hours of my life.  Finally, I got some of the younger Spanish ladies to write down names and artists of Latin music and Spotify came to my rescue- which is the best DJ investment we have ever made, by the way.  But the absolute weirdest part was all the compliments I got at the end!  It was like some sort of parallel universe.  They told me how good it was and they loved my variety and I even gave out a card.  Come se dice, huh?

Ghost Town? Hardly!

So it turns out I am actually not dead, nor did I move to a foreign country or join the witness protection program. Those rumors were getting a little weird.  No, to put it mildly, things at work have gotten a little crazy and I now find myself working four days a week.  Add to that the daily 5am seminary wake up call, soccer starting up for Luke, Cindy in volleyball, my first Primary activity tomorrow morning followed by a dance tomorrow night followed by ward council the following morning and the missionaries Sunday night for dinner and now suddenly you are amazed that this blog is getting any attention at all, right?  Because, quite frankly, I am!  The kids have the day off from school Monday and I am half tempted to take off with them early and head to the beach with a chair and my iPod.  Alright, enough of that.  You don't read this blog for downer posts about my hectic life! No, you read it for.....


The cat memes!

The advice!

The stories about my children!

The other night at dinner Luke asked if he could have some more "white broccoli."  Who would have thought he would find cauliflower so tasty.

On the way to school in the car I looked at Cindy and said, "Did you even comb your hair this morning?"  She replied, "Nah. I forgot."



Helpful tips for solving crossword puzzles!

Pencil in lightly any guessed answers. Then check the crossing entries.  If a guessed word contains an uncommon letter such as J or K, check the crossing entries for those letters first.



My lottery picks!

Cash 3-  3 1 5

Play 4-  6  8  9  9

Fantasy 5-  11  29  8  22  34



My adoring observations about our President!

The creepy pictures of a spotted wasp moth breaking out of his cocoon on my garbage can!

Seriously, this happened.  I saw it.  One less bucket list item for me, suckers!

And of course, Luke's tips for eating ice cream!

Tip #7- When putting the spoon in your mouth, don't watch where it goes.  You'll get it eventually.

Good News, Bad News

Good News:  Cindy's fourth grade class is going to Disney's Magic Kingdom for a fieldtrip in May!

Bad News:  It's $126 per kid and $70 per parent. 


And suddenly this is no longer as funny as the first time I saw it....



image

So this is how it's going to be?

Just want to give a shout out to my parents cat, Diavo.  Because nothing says 'thank you for keeping me alive for days at a time while my owners are out of town' quite like throwing up on my sandals.  Really, Diavo?  I was at my parent's house for the space of less than two hours.  Cats are punks.

Unless I laugh, I'm going to cry. Again.

TOP TEN CHANGES I WILL MAKE NOW THAT I AM PRIMARY PRESIDENT

10. At least four songs in the primary program will be performed by a mariachi band
9.   Father's Day cards from the kids will be a BOGO coupon for boneless wings
8.  Fifth Sunday lessons will feature a lecture from one of Lakeland's most successful possum trappers
7.  Fall Festival will be 4% more festive
6.  From now on Webeloes will be called Super Wolves
5.  All teachers must wear an attractive sweater
4.  Sharing Time: out, Staring Time: in
3.  Visitors get a sticker, a song and anything out of the Seminary closet they want
2.  Children will be spotlighted according to how many times they have detailed my car
1.  Every time a kid says the word "scriptures" we have a slice of pie


Gotta give props to Cindy for writing number 5 all by herself :)

Epic Win

Image