It's My Blog and I'll Brag If I Want To

While my dad, Brian, Kelly and Jacob are all out on Trek, me and the kids and my mom and Dave have been spending some quality time together for a few days.  Today we hit the bowling alley!  I don't mean to brag, but- oh wait, yes I do.  Check out my score (located across from the big letter J):

Yep, new lifetime high score for me.  My work is done here.

Luke had a fantastic time bowling.  Thanks to Dave's advice to "close [his] eyes and visualize all the pins falling down," he got a strike!

I snapped this very awkward looking picture during one of his first attempts. He is just happy to have the chance to play :)

Cindy- not so much.  After bowling for 15 minutes and realizing she was not going to be able to go pro any time soon, she pretty much decided that life wasn't worth living and wanted to join the Army.  I, on the other hand, decided to swear a mighty oath and never take her bowling again.  She got an 82 for crying out loud!  I think I need to hang this sign in her room....

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Merry Christmas!

Boy, once the kids get out of school and family comes in from out of town, it is hard to keep track of the days during the holidays!  Hard to believe yet another Christmas is in the books already.  We had a wonderful Christmas this year and I hope that everyone out there did too :)

We spent most of Christmas Eve at my parent's house.  We played Pictionary, decorated cookies, ate tons of junk food, hung out, talked, and then of course, ended the night by acting out the Nativity.

This was the first time I had done the Nativity with my family in years!  Kelly made a very beautiful and appropriate Mary, Brian's beard looked fantastic with his headdress and Cindy played the angel on the exact same hearth where I played the same angel when I was her age.  Including holding the exact same star.  My dad and I were shepherds, keeping watch over our flocks of gorillas by night.  And mom, Dave and Luke rounded out the cast as the three wise men.   Luke looked like a pirate and said that the pillowcase was making his head sweat, but he made it to Bethlehem like a good little soldier.

This year's Christmas eve PJs.  I ordered Cindy's back in November and had not opened the UPS box until yesterday when I wrapped them.  It never occurred to me to open and check to see if they were the right ones.  Sure enough, these are NOT the ones I ordered!  I actually had ordered some really cute Christmas kitten pjs, but this is what I got.  Thankfully, Cindy LOVED these.  I am eternally grateful they weren't something hideous like Justin Bieber or Monster High.  Dodged a huge bullet there.  And Luke christened his new Avengers pjs by not quite making it to the bathroom in time at about 12:45 :(

Cindy is at the age where she is convinced all year long that Santa is definitely not real but then freaks out right near Christmastime and rethinks her decision.  I was surprised this year how much she got into the spirit of things.  Last night we had to set out cookies and milk and also the "reindeer food" that Luke brought home from Kindergarten.  Reindeer love oats, hay and glitter, apparently.  But sure enough, when morning came, all those things were gone! ;)  In year's past we have had to wake the kids up to open presents.  (Yes, we are spoiled.)  They hadn't really gotten to the age where they were waking up super early.  Last night I told them they could get up when they wanted and see what was out by the tree and look at their stockings, but NOT to wake us up.  This was the first time that Cindy's excitement made her completely not follow the plan.  I was a little surprised at 7am this morning when she came in and told me rather loudly, "Santa came last night!!!!!"  I know, I know, cry you a river, right?  But seriously, 7am is a little early for our kids.

Among other things, the kids got bean bag chairs....

A rockin' new fedora....

A new watercolor set....

Legos.....

Hungry, Hungry Hippos.....

And I got a picture of me and Jacob.  And he is SMILING :)  Christmas accomplished.

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'Twas The Week Before Christmas

It's finally the last day of school before Christmas break!  Having Thanksgiving come so early this year has really made everything seem a little off this year.  Christmas has seemed so far away and then as of today I feel like it's in five minutes. Weird.

Here's a few of the highlights from the week...

Wednesday I kept Luke home from school because of an earache and some puking.  I have learned again and again that my children treat vomiting like sneezing.  A momentary interruption in what they are doing and nothing more.  I will be forever grateful for their lack of drama.  I don't know why I deserve this gift, but it's wonderful.  Luke even let me give him a haircut after puking that morning.

Then he took a bubble bath.  Complete with goatee.

And shockingly blue water.  I let my kids add food coloring to the water just for fun, but this time I used some Wilton professional food coloring and wow!  That stuff is potent.

Yesterday I went to help in Luke's class for "Polar Express" Day.  They watch the movie, all the kids get to wear their pajamas and they have hot chocolate, etc.  I was told by the teacher that I could wear my pajamas too (as she was going to do the same), so I got mine out of the attic and washed them and proudly wore them.  Although, out of 5 parents I was the ONLY one who wore their pajamas.  Seriously?  It's a burden to be this cool sometimes.  Even better was that afterward I went straight to the lunchroom to eat with Cindy and then I REALLY was the only parent around wearing pajamas.  Doesn't matter what they thought though, because Cindy loved it :)

Miss Paladino gave all the kids holiday scarves as a gift. So cute! And this is why I would suck royally as a teacher.  I never think of things like that.

And can you believe the weather turned cold enough for Luke to actually wear the scarf today????
(maybe it is the end of the world....)


Brian and Kelly are here!  My kids are so excited and just like clockwork Cindy has already begun treating me like dirt.  Kelly: IN.  Mom: So far OUT, there is no classification.  And could Kelly's baby bump be any more adorable? No.  Little LaFawnduh is going to be precious :)


Finally, today is Jacob's official last day of being a teacher at Auburndale High School.  He has been there for the past six years but recently took the opportunity to switch schools and be closer to home.  So close that he will now be teaching right down the street!  Very excited for him to not be taking the toll road to work every morning :)  He had been holding out in telling most people that he was leaving, but over this past week he told all the staff (of course the principal already knew for weeks) and then eventually all his students.  He was a little surprised at their pronounced disappointment that he was leaving.  He said he even had a girl cry.  (Losing your eye candy can be very difficult!)  Jacob is a great teacher.  Having strong, male role models as teachers in our schools is becoming more and more rare.  I am really proud to be married to a teacher.  I believe his influence on those kids is far greater than he will ever know.  I'm glad his chosen professions allow him to follow his desire to really connect with people.  He can always look back and know that he made a difference.  I think that's pretty cool :)

A Luke Quickie

Down here in Florida when the kids are in pre-school, they all learn "The Florida Alphabet" song at some point.  It teaches them their ABCs by giving each letter a Florida-specific reference.  So A is for alligator, B is for boat, C is for conch shell, etc.

Here is the song if you want to hear it.  WARNING:  It will get stuck in your head for a minimum of 72 hours, non-stop....





So the reference for N is as follows:  "Nuh-nuh-Naples, where the old folks go."   (Naples is a city down south filled to the gills with old peeps.)  So last night I was asking Luke to tell Jacob about his field trip today, which is that the entire Kindergarten grade level is going to a nursing home to sing holiday songs.  So I said to Luke, "Tell dad what tomorrow is!"  He bashfully said, "My field trip."  Jacob then asked, "Wow, where are you going?"  Luke then looked at me as if he needed to confirm his answer and then finally said in an unsure voice, "Naples?"   And without all this background, Jacob was a little concerned that the Kindergartners were going to be on a bus for 6 hours today, instead of just up the street :)

Distracted Much?

If art imitates life, then this is what we all should see and hear right after I tell Luke to go change his church clothes.   Any one of these, take your pick...

And the best part is, that right after the time card disappears, Luke would still be in his church clothes.  

WHAT IS HE DOING IN THERE???!?!!

A Jacob Quickie

Two weekends ago I went with Jacob to DJ a dance for the Young Single Adults over in Tampa.  Back in October Jacob purchased a second 18 inch sub-woofer to add to our equipment repertoire and this was the first time I got to go to a dance where two of these were in use.  An hour into the dance I literally had to leave to go outside the building because the bass and music were so loud.  While outside I sent Jacob a text saying "I can hear your bass all the way in the parking lot!!!"  To which he replied, "Finally!"

Some things never change :)

Use The Farce

What do you get when you combine Grumpy Cat and Star Wars?

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(Thanks, Maggie!)

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The Real Reason I Married Jacob

Every year I get really nervous that for some reason the Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma is going to stop sending out Christmas ornaments to all its tribe members.  It's usually on the day in December when we get the Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma official wall calendar, which I really wish they would stop sending out.  But never fear!  Yesterday we got this year's trinket in a nice little box and I totally love it!  Here is a pic for you:

#7 in my collection

It's a raccoon, or "shaui" as we call him in our native Choctaw tongue, complete with moving tail, on a tree- with full color wood-grain design.  Nice job, Chief Pyle!  AND as an added bonus, there was even a tiny card inside the box with the Choctaw children's legend of "Why the Possum's Tail has no Fur."  It's about time someone finally revealed that mystery! If you must know, it is because raccoon told possum that the way he got his beautiful bushy, ringed tail was that he "wrapped hickory bark around it and singed it." (Well, that sounds reasonable.)  Possum tried to do the same, but was some kind of lame-o and set his whole tail on fire, thus removing all hair from it forever.  Also according to the legend, this is the reason possums travel only at night; they are embarrassed and "sulking".  So if you ever hear some animals tussling at night in your backyard, it's probably just some raccoons and possums mixing it up over tail envy.

Signs and Wonders

I had to keep Cindy home today because of a fever.  Luke stayed home as well out of courtesy to his teacher, who I am sure would be in the loony bin by the end of the day after having had listened to his never. ever. ever. ever. ending. cough.  (I almost had to sleep in the backyard last night. OH THE HUMANITY!!!)  But I have realized that keeping them home together is not something I want to ever do again.  For the rest of my life.  Or at least until they are home from their missions.  They have fought over absolutely everything today.  So while I channel my inner Master Shifu and try to find inner peace, here are some more funny signs to make the day go by a little faster.  For all of us :)

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A Luke Quickie

The kids spent the night with Grandma and Grandpa Sweeney last night and after I picked them up and brought them home I noticed this on Luke's leg:

Me:  What is that on your leg?
Luke:  What?
Me:  That stick man that is drawn on your leg.
Luke: Oh. I dropped a marker on it.
Me: You dropped a marker and it hit your leg and drew a man on it?
Luke:  Mmmmm........yeeeaaaah?

Luke, you are THE BEST :)

Christmas Came Early!

Dear Santa,

For Christmas I would really like a photo of an astronaut that has the head of a sloth.  


Love,
Jessica

(In this case, the part of Santa was being played by Victoria McKendrick who posted this on Facebook and made my life.)

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Soccer

Because it starts snowing practice plans....

From late October until my birthday, I find these papers EVERYWHERE!

Elf on The Shelf Is Watching You

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Well, it's that time of the year again when over-achieving parents everywhere bust out the Elf on the Shelf.  If you are unaware of the tradition of Elf on the Shelf, it is where parents get a creepy looking little elf doll and put him all over their house to act as their children's parole officer.  The Elf then flies to the North Pole each night to report to the big guy himself on whether the kids' behavior is good enough to land them on the "nice" list.  It is a genius idea for behavior modification through gratuitous lying.  To be clear, I am not mocking anyone who does Elf on the Shelf.  I actually considered getting an Elf for my own kids this year.  But then I remembered that getting one would require me to actually do a whole bunch of work, every single day for like, 24 days in a row!  And then I laughed hilariously and put the thought out of my mind.  Plus, guess who came home and told me that his class at school got an Elf?  I didn't think Jacob would be so excited! Okay, just kidding.  It was Luke.  He is ecstatic about their class Elf and guessing where they will find him each morning.  Yesterday he was "sleeping in a box of tissues with a rubber chicken."  The teachers go for the most obvious spots sometimes.  I love a good Christmas tradition, but in this case I am perfectly happy to defer my Yuletide responsibility to the professionals.  Besides, if I were to do this in the future, I might need to put my own spin on it.  You know, maybe do one of these instead...



TOP TEN ELF ON THE SHELF ALTERNATIVES

10. Wench on the Bench
9.  Skink in the Sink
8.  Owl in the Towel
7.  Grouch on the Couch
6.  El Muñeca en la Manteca  (Mexico only)
5.  Banshee in the Pantry
4.  Velociraptor in the Credenza
3.  Mouse in your Blouse
2.  Sniveling Weasel in the Oval Office (for Sasha and Malia only)
1.  Tard in the Yard


Gracias to Dave and Dad :)

Here's Your Sign

I recently started following an awesome board on Pinterest filled with pictures of funny signs. See if any of these strike you as hilarious.  Because they did for me. And we all know you are dying to be just like me...

I think aisle 6 is magical.
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Honest Abe's Diner.
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But does he Prom Promise?
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Fans of Walking Dead, is this true?
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Rim-shot!
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This must be a school at the beach.  They go in "waves." Ha!
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But why?  Clearly you can communicate without them.
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I now have an appointment tomorrow at 4pm.
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I live with three Indians.  It's legit.
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The most well-behaved street in town.
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Much more accurate than anything else they could have said.
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Something my mom would say :)
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Best classified ad in the history of the world.
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A Luke Quickie

Luke is not a fan of shoes.  Obviously, he is my son.  Every time I take him to Grandma's he always wants to go barefoot. But I have tried to start putting my foot down on this one and make him at least take some with him whenever he goes there.  This was tonight's latest shoe argument:


Me: Luke get some shoes!
Luke: I don't want any shoes!
Me: You have to wear shoes.  Get some on, now!
Luke: I am wearing shoes. They are made of skin.  See?

Once again, his Jedi mind tricks will not work on me.

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