A few early Christmas gift ideas

I was on SlickDeals.net the other day and as I was perusing all the different online deals and coupons that people were posting, I saw that one of the posts was for something called a "toilet kitty" that was ONLY $9.95! ('Cause most toilet kitties will set you back at least $30, so this is a flippin' steal!) I tried as hard as I could not to click on the link, but come on, that is like asking me to only eat three bowls of cereal at breakfast. Impossible! So within 5 seconds I was transported to a website called Collections, Etc. You know, these are those all purpose gift/home decor/collectible sites that sell some okay knickey knacks, as well as horrible, awful, (and hilarious) tacky junk. The best place to find the worst of what they sell is always the clearance section. So here are a few gifts that you could own. Or give to your worst enemy- which seems much more appropriate.

First up: The deer telephone

This is just hideous! (Unless you own one, in which case I love it)Actually, this website had just about every "telephone" you could imagine. Not just the deer one, but bear phones, indian phones, porcelain doll phones, and southwestern adobe clay pot telephones. If you need an ugly phone, your search is over, my friend.


Look closely...


Just in case you forgot how to lay down at night, consult this pillow. The funny part to me is not the DUH factor, but rather the place on the man's face that is drooling. Because all you guys are just the same- clueless, drooling, cavemen. (Ironically, I thought that sleeping would fit into the category of "things so easy a cavemen could do" so why does he need this pillow case?)

I need this for my next party: The Dog Watermelon stand

The idea of this gift is okay, it is just the fact that the "dog" part looks like some sort of angry mutated grizzly wolf who has no business carrying fruit on its back. Instead it should carry, I don't know, the bloody remains of a deer carcus it just ate, maybe?

I HAVE to have this
This has got be the UGLIEST and most bizarre "gift" I have seen in a while. I am not even sure what it is supposed to be! Statue? Paperweight? Idol? They even have names- Mary and Moe and according to the description they are "sure to attract plenty of attention when you display them on a shelf or tabletop." That is one way to put it, alright! All I can say is, "Now that's a gift!"

Okay, I can't leave you hanging....I give you: The Toilet Kitty

And I officially have nothing more to say.