Anatomy of a Run

I know I told many of you this story in person, but I need to include this on my blog for my posterity. Future generations need to know how I competed in an indoor triathlon at my local Rec Center last Saturday and how during the swim, which was last (thank goodness), the guy in the lane next to me threw up while swimming, thus effectively shutting down the pool for the next 8 hours and pretty much ruining the triathlon. I even got to see him upchucking over the side of the pool. Rookies, sheesh! Anyway, I did get to do the bike and run portion, which were on a stationary fancy-pants bike and a treadmill, respectively. I got to be on each for 20 minutes to see how much distance I could cover. And whattayaknow?! I came in FIRST overall for the ladies! Can I get a woot woot!? Thanks :)

In a related story, I ran around Lake Hollingsworth the other night and I thought I would share with you some of the thoughts that go through my mind during those thirty minutes or so. It usually goes something like this....

Minute 1: I got this, no problem.
Minute 2: Eyes on the prize, Sweeney. Pace yourself...
Minute 4: This was the dumbest idea I've ever had.
Minute 7: Seriously, I could be home watching Spongebob right now
Minute 9: I think that guy was checking me out....
Minute 11: I seriously can't breathe and my chest is going to explode.
Minute 12: I'm 99% sure my chest is going to explode.
Minute 15: How on earth have I ever run arond this entire lake without stopping?
Minute 17: I wonder where that lady got those roller blades...
Minute 18: Wow, I gotta be faster than that 80-year-old man with a walker, run like you mean it, Sweeney!
Minute 20: Backstreet Boys remix? Oh, it's ON!
Minute 21: I should run a half marathon someday!!!
Minute 22: I should run a half marathon tomorrow!!
Minute 25: Sprint to the end! Work it, Sweeney!!
Minute 27: VICTORY!
Minute 30: Okay, I'm glad I did that :) Now I'll watch some Spongebob...

A Brian Quickie

I drove my brother Brian and his wife Kelly all the way out to Port Canaveral on Monday for their honeymoon cruise. I picked them up at about 9:30am and Brian was telling me about how little sleep he had gotten the night before because he was so worried about making sure that every detail concerning their trip was taken care of. As we were driving on the Polk Parkway toll road, we passed a large sign that said, "Your Tax Dollars at Work." Right after we passed the sign Brian started laughing really hard and he said to me, "Wow, I must be really tired because I totally thought that sign said, "Your Toddlers at Work." That's just how we roll in Florida, okay? When we say everyone needs to get a job, we mean it.

A Cindy Quickie

We went to a wedding reception last night up at the church. Since I was the DJ, Cindy and I were there for almost three hours. Finally, at the end of the night, the lights came up, chairs were being folded, tables were being put away, and Cindy came to find me and said, "So what's next?" I said, "What do you mean?" She asked me, "Well, so now do we all go to the wedding girl's house and watch them open their presents or what?" She was just a tad bit disappointed when I told her we just got to clean up and go home. I don't think she understands that getting to see Brian and Kelly open their presents was a rare opportunity and not the standard routine for these occasions :)

Oh blessed day!

Let it be known that on Friday, August 13th at approximately 8:30pm, Luke uttered the immortal words,

"I don't want to watch Care Bears, I want to watch Star Wars."

It's just so wonderful! If only Jacob were here at this moment to celebrate with me...



And just because this is hilarious and it involves Luke's beloved Stormtroopers:

Biscuit Battle

Spontaneity got the best of Jacob and I earlier today, so we hopped in the car and decided to try biscuits from three fast food places and declare a winner. I am just as surprised as you are, my friend. Here is what we got:

(Sorry, no actual pictures. Spontaneity is the enemy of preparedness.)

Contestant #1- KFC



I have eaten biscuits from KFC about a thousand times, but we needed to be thorough! I liked the overall flavor, but their biscuits are a little heavy. It needed to be more like me; flakey.

Contestant #2- Church's

Continuing to prove our thoroughness, we then went to Church's chicken in North Lakeland, a place that white people usually don't venture. But, it was well worth it. I had had their biscuits only once before, with my dad in a similar attempt to get great chicken and not get shot at the same time. Those biscuits are much lighter, have crispier edges, and have some sort of mysterious sweet glaze stuff on the top that makes them totally delicious without any butter. And the chicken nuggets the kids got were mighty tasty!

Contestant #3- Popeye's


I really don't think I have ever eaten at Popeye's before. There is one just up the road from Church's, so we ordered three and they were not half bad. They are very similar to the KFC biscuit, only flatter, perfectly round, and incredibly salty. If I didn't have high blood pressure before I ate those, I do now.


So the winner would have to be Church's, then Popeye's, then KFC. It really is a shame there is not a Church's chicken somewhere closer. And safer. And next to a police station. Overlooked by a Mormon temple. I would eat there all the time :)

Over already?

As school starts next week, Summer 2010 is pretty much officially in the books. I have to say, it was spectacular. Having Jacob around was fantastic :) We spent tons of time with the kids, we relaxed, we accomplished many of our long-shelved house projects, we watched movies, played xbox (do I really even have to say that one?), went out to eat, played xbox, watched a ton of soccer and generally just had a three month long vacation. Teaching sure has its good points. Of which a large salary is not one, but I digress.... And just to put an exclamation point on my summarization, here is a lovely visual aid you will need to click on to read, unless you have a magnifying glasses for eyes.

WHAT MADE MY SUMMER SO AWESOME
(IN CONVENIENT PIE CHART FORM)

What to blog about when you can't think of anything...

Nothing super amazing is going on right now that is really blog-worthy. Well, besides how that meteor hit my Honda last night... So when I hit a lull, the experts of the blogging world suggest to write about a picture that is worth a thousand words. Lucky for you I just happen to have one from a story I saw online a while back! (I take the Scout motto very seriously since becoming a merit badge counselor.) Anyway, the news story was on Yahoo and it was about Microsoft and some new lawsuit that was being filed against them. It was nothing out of the ordinary and like most online stories, there was a standard picture that went with it right at the top. It was a picture of the Microsoft sign at its HQ in Washington. Nice and normal, right? But the picture also included a jogger from 1988 in tiny shorts running in front of the sign.



So you are telling me that of all the pictures of the Microsoft sign in the entire online universe, Yahoo felt this one was the best they could do for a prominent front page story? I like to think there was a lowly copy editing peon somewhere that had a good laugh over that one. And that he got promoted the next day.

A Quickie with a touch of Irony

How ironic is it that yesterday's post was about little boy underwear, and today I realized only moments ago while putting on his pajamas, that all day long Luke wasn't wearing any? Three cheers for getting dressed all by yourself!

You know what I love?

Well, lots of things, really. Like, eating raw cookie dough, when celebrities go to prison, AFV montages, and opening a new can of tennis balls, just to name a few. But what I was actually referring to in this specific post was this:




Little boy underwear. It's just so dang cute!

Top Ten Rejected Twilight Cereals

Personally, I am shocked they don't actually already have Twilight cereal. I mean, are the marketing and PR people over at Summit Entertainment in a coma? Anyway, I was meaning to finish writing this list back in May so I would have it ready for when Eclipse opened up, but it got away from me. UNTIL NOW!

TOP TEN REJECTED TWILIGHT CEREALS

10. Volturi-Os
9. Unlucky Charms, now with New Moons!
8. Love Bites
7. Sparkly-comb
6. Cullen Crunchies
5. La Pusharoos
4. Honey bunches of Wolves
3. Team Fiber!
2. Frosted Forks
1. Jaspersnaps

(Do you get #1? Because Jasper "snaps" and attacks Bella in New Moon? Oh, man that was clever...Good thing I write these mainly to amuse myself :)