Finally! Another Top Ten List

I have a confession to make. As of this past week, I have been doing a terribly lousy job of writing Elder Sweeney a postcard every single day. Granted, he has gotten a lot of postcards so far, but they haven’t been going out in an orderly, one-a-day fashion as I had planned. The Census is just kicking my fanny! But I will complete the task at hand! He just might have to get 7 postcards this next Tuesday, that's all.

Anyway, his mission address has also changed, so I am having to mail all these postcards to the actual mission office, where I am sure some of the office elders are seeing them. And, in true Bingham style, I got to thinking about perhaps writing some very intriguing “P.S. statements” on these cards, as a way to mess with any of the unsuspecting office staff who might be reading them. And then, with the help of my parents (as we walked around Lake Hollingsworth), this top ten list was born. So here it is:

TOP TEN P.S. STATEMENTS TO WRITE ON A POSTCARD TO ELDER SWEENEY
(IN HOPES OF MESSING WITH THE OFFICE ELDERS OR ANYONE ELSE WHO IS SECRETLY READING THEM)

10. P.S. Wow, you’re lucky- in most missions you’re not allowed to swim!

9. P.S. Jacob said the office elders in his mission were totally lame too.

8. P.S. I wouldn’t worry too much, they don't actually excommunicate you for that anymore.

7. P.S Is this address where I send your new Xbox controllers?

6. P.S. Chin up! 18 month missions are just as good as the two year ones.

5. P.S. That is so weird that your companion is married…

4. P.S. Are you still stalking that one Sister in your zone?

3. P.S. I can’t meet you at the Phillies game on the 10th- lets make it the 12th instead. I know that's a Sunday, but I figured that wouldn't be a problem.

2. P.S. I told you Redbox is amazing!!

1. P.S. I think the mission car is more than capable of making that jump you told me about! Let me know how it goes.



I think I will try a few of these out next week. I'm going out in a blaze of glory, people!

A Dave Quickie

A lot of quickies lately....

So the other night I was chatting online with my brother, Dave, and he wrote something that really made me laugh. I was telling him all about my Census work. He asked me how long this was all going to last. I couldn't really give an accurate answer. But I think he hit the nail on the head when he estimated, "Until people come to their Census?" Exactly!

And I have to admit I was really excited to get to use this picture. It's a new classic.

The latest...

Today started my first day as a trainer for the Census. I met the 8 people that are in my group and for the most part they are all pretty normal! I am pleasantly surprised! Unfortunately, nothing too exciting happened today. Fingerprinting went pretty well and the only partially funny moment happened when one of my crew members said he was going to use his new census badge to commandeer a vehicle. "Don't worry," he said. "I'll tell them they'll get 50 cents a mile." Ahh, Government humor!

A Cindy Quickie

Last night the kids were sitting at the table waiting for me to bring them each a brownie. It happened to be raining cats and dogs at the time and Jacob walked past the table with a mop in his hand- a mop he was going to use to go prop up part of our weakling gutters in the backyard. As soon as Cindy saw Dad with the mop, she was very interested in what he was doing and helping out. "What is that for?!" Cindy asked with amazement. Jacob replied, "It doesn't matter. You just worry about your brownie." Then with a totally puzzled look on her face she said, "It's a brownie, what's there to worry about?"

THREE!

Seems totally crazy, but Luke turned 3 on Friday. I can't believe what a big boy he is! Amazing :) Since he had his birthday activity a few weeks ago by riding Thomas the Train, Friday we just had a small family party, cake, ice cream and presents. Oh, and Cindy and Dad skipped school and we went to Denny's for breakfast. So it actually was a birthday present to all of us. Man, I love breakfast...French Toast, bacon, eggs, toast..... FOCUS! Okay, I will focus. Here are some pics from Lukee's day:


Started the morning with some presents. They were pretty much all Thomas the Train things- bubbles, plate, paint with water....



I used some Thomas the Train bathtub squirters on his cake. Pretzel sticks also make excellent railroad ties. Luke approved of my work.



Luke has no patience for pictures right now, so when I took Luke's birthday pictures I got about 10- as opposed to Cindy's 44. There were a few good ones...









Cindy quickly took over, I mean, helped Luke open his presents...

You can even see Aunt Misty on Skype on the laptop in the background. She was there to see Luke open presents and blow out his candles. Technology rules!

I did trick candles for Luke too. They just kept re-lighting and Luke could not have been happier.

Anyway, Happy 3rd Birthday to my big guy :) He is the best little boy I could have ever asked for!

What on Earth?!

As I pulled into South Mckeel to drop off Cindy this morning, there were tons of kids all lined up out front. They were all wearing green colored shirts and holding signs that had to do with Earth Day. I am pretty sure you all know by now how I feel about Earth Day. I basically hate it. To me, Earth Day is the opportunistic greenwashing of our society. If you really want to have an Earth Day then it needs to really be about appreciating nature and it's beauty and not about demanding that I re-use my sandwich baggies, showing me how to plan a "green" birthday party for my 3-year-old or making me feel like a horrible person when I don't own a purse made out of old drink box pouches. So as I saw all these kids out in front of the school, who really were enthusiastic and well presented, I heard them chanting, "Honk if you care! Honk if you care!" Wow, that was the absolute WRONG thing to be chanting at me. I mean, on one hand I wanted to honk because I think the kids looked great and had tons of spirit. But let's face it, I COULD CARE LESS about the liberal-agenda crap they have been indoctrinated with. However, in my milisecond of moral dilemma, I realized that since I had turned into the parking lot with about 30 other cars, not ONE of them had honked. And suddenly I felt a whole lot better about my convictions :) And then kinda sad because maybe all the parents at McKeel are deaf....

Furthermore, to properly celebrate Earth Day 2010 here in Sweeneyville, I give you: Earth Day Predictions of 1970

These are actual predictions about the future of the Earth from those many years ago. Enjoy!

“We have about five more years at the outside to do something.”
• Kenneth Watt, ecologist

“Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make. The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years.”
• Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist

“It is already too late to avoid mass starvation.”
• Denis Hayes, chief organizer for Earth Day

“Scientists have solid experimental and theoretical evidence to support…the following predictions: In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution…by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half….”
• Life Magazine, January 1970

“Civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind.”
• George Wald, Harvard Biologist

And that pretty much sums up why I believe Earth Day and all things "green" are a glorious joke.

(To read the full blog post, with all the predictions from 1970, which are all spectacularly awesome, go here. I have not read or previewed anything else on the website aside from this article, just so you know.)

Look at this egg, man!

Somehow out of all the eggs for sale at Walgreens today, I choose the carton with the giant mutant egg inside it. I mean, look at this thing! I think a baby conehead is going to hatch out of it. It's the pointiest egg I have ever seen!!!!!



And just before the above photo was taken, Cindy took this one:



Seriously, is the student becoming the teacher?

Big News!

Okay, just wanted to officially announce that little brother Brian just got engaged last night :) Yes, this is the same boy who told me with white-hot fear in his eyes a few days before leaving for BYU that, after being on a mission for 2 years, he was "so scared of girls." Anyway, looks like he got over that fear real fast :) His fiance's name is Kelly Ward, from the West/South Jordan area of Utah. She is fantastic! She is an Elementary Education major at UVU in Orem, she likes to dance, she was an EFY counselor, she has been to China (English teaching exchange thing???) she loves the movie Singing in the Rain and most importantly she is not even the least bit creeped out by me and the fact that I stole all this information and picture of the two of them from her Facebook pages without asking. See? I told you she was fantastic! They are getting married in August, not sure of a date yet. On behalf of Binghams everywhere, Welcome to the family, Kelly!

Did you know?

That Luke LOVES Ritz Crackerfuls? I have been getting them really cheap because of the store sales and coupons and he literally eats one of these for breakfast every single morning. It is the first thing he says to me when he wakes up- "Mom, can I have one of those long crackers?" And that is even before he is fully conscious or his eyes have adjusted to the light. I blame it mostly on the fact that they sit at the top of the food storage closet in his room, which is the last thing he sees at night and the first thing he sees in the morning. I am just so darn proud it's not gummy snacks. Sniffle, sniffle! It brings a tear of joy to my little eye...

A Grandma Quickie

We just learned a few weeks ago that our church ward is being re-combined with another ward that we split from about 2 years ago. It was quite surprising! I was talking to my mom, who has been our ward's Relief Society President since that time, and she was speculating whether or not she would be released from that calling or continue to serve in that role. My very wisdomous advice was to just do a really crappy job and then they would release her. She replied, "That's what I've been doing for the last 2 years and it hasn't worked!" Ha ha, yeah right, Mom. You have been doing a great job and that's the real problem :)