Bike Week

After trying for most of the week, Luke finally got it.

Watch out, Bersch Road!

No, seriously, watch out.  He doesn't really have the steering part yet...

U-S-A! U-S-A!

Two games in, two goals.

I Am Not Making This Up

You know how when you are running a race and you really want to eat a tomato but you also don't really have the time to stop and eat one?  Well, my friend, all your troubles are over!  And I am now also re-evaluating my entire life.  A Japanese company (Japan? No. way.) has invented an 18 pound robot backpack that will feed you up to six tomatoes while running a marathon.  I cannot even believe that I just typed that sentence and it was not part of a top ten list.  Eat your hearts out Shark Tank, because you missed out big time.

Full Ridiculous Story Here

Now, you might be thinking that this is the stupidest thing you have ever seen.  But, look here, naysayer!   

Top Ten  Inventions that are Worse Than A Robot Tomato Backpack

10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.

Wow, that list was a toughie!
  

A Luke Quickie

This Friday Luke has to dress up as Abraham Lincoln for a school project.  I was bemoaning the fact that I have to help make a hat and beard for him, but after Luke told me what the other kids got assigned, I decided that I am the luckiest parent in that entire classroom.  I mean, how in the world do you dress up a 7 year old like Jimmy Carter, Anne Frank or Susan B. Anthony?  Luke realized how lucky it was to be Honest Abe but was very worried for one friend in particular.  He said to me, "I don't know what Levi is going to do because he is Martin Luther King,  Jr. and he is NOT black."  Good luck with that, Levi.

A Luke Quickie

I will blog more about this later, but Friday night as a family we went to an Orlando Magic pro basketball game.  After it was all said and done and we were driving home in the car, I asked Luke what his favorite part was.  The first thing he said was the escalators, (which will make a nice backup plan as a way to get to outer space if rocket technology ever disappears) but the second thing surprised me. He replied, "When the score was 19 to 20." Can't argue with that, I mean, those 20 seconds were pretty sweet.

It Was A Close One

link

Now It All Maketh Sense

So have you heard of or used the new Relative Finder website to find out what famous (LDS and otherwise) people you are related to?  I tried it out on Monday night and feasteth thine eyes on this!

William Shakespeare is my 11th Great Grandfather! 

Did you hear what I just typed?  

William Shakespeare is my 11th great grandfather.

Shut your mouth and slap your grandma, what?!

William Shakespeare is my 11th great grandfather!

No one seems as excited about this as me.  Sigh.  

AND, he was born and died (48 years later) on the exact same day.  April 23rd.

Luke's birthday.  

Seriously, this genealogical discovery is just about the most shocking thing I ever heard!!!   Well, okay, that's not entirely true because we also typed in Jacob's information and now I'm thinking I may have married my cousin. Eww.  

Now we know where my crazy writing gene comes from!  Thanks, Grandpa Bill. 

Thou art welcome.  

****Other notable "cousins" I have include Elvis Presley, Emelia Earheart, Butch Cassidy, Abraham Lincoln, Philo T. Farnsworth, Marjorie Hinckley, Thomas B. Marsh, Brigham Young, James Madison, Alexander Hamilton, Mitt Romney, Thomas S. Monson and, unfortunately, Governor Boggs. Bummer.

A Jacob Quickie

Saturday was Luke's triumphant return to soccer!  He played a basketball game at 10 and then hit the pitch at noon.  It's tough being so talented :)  For having only attended one soccer practice up to this point, he did amazing.  He still has great ball control, great speed and this time around our team finally has a ringer!  We have this giant kid that can really kick the ball and not fall down every time a stiff breeze blows.  It. is. awesome.  And definitely a new experience for Luke's team, which is made up of pretty much every tiny kid from last time.  At one point in the game the giant kid was taking a free kick.  (I am going to try and find out his actual name, until then he shall be known as 'Manute'.)  Our little guys were just kind of standing there about ten feet away waiting for the kick and suddenly Jacob was yelling at Luke to back up and get open. Seconds after Luke listened and got down field, Manute kicked the ball over everyone's head and Luke was in exactly the right spot to run onto it, dribble and score a goal on a great one-on-one breakaway. We were all amazed out how Jacob totally called it!  My dad was amazed, my mom was amazed- I too, was amazed, (and also incredibly happy Luke scored the goal), and finally after everyone telling Jacob how incredible it was that he saw the future, Jacob stood next to me and said kind of puzzled, "Well, I AM a soccer coach..."  Oh, yeah. I guess after all the thousands of hours of practice, playing games and all those classes for coaching licenses, he might know a little about soccer :)

Love Is In The Air

I was wondering what kind of Valentines Luke might want to take to school this year.  Star Wars?Ninja Turtle?  Lego?  Nah.  He used his art set from Christmas to hand draw, cut out and label 18 individual Valentines for his class, including one for his teacher.  He did this for about an hour and a half two Sundays ago unbeknownst to any one of us.  This kid is killing me!

I am still waiting to see if Cindy is too cool for Valentines now that she is in Middle School, but I know she wouldn't turn down this guy!  

I am sure this is a product aimed at men, but I just might have to give Cindy the surprise of a lifetime with this on Saturday.  She LOVES beef jerky and, if I remember correctly, super creepy Klingon-esque Sasquatch, so this would be a huge win-win.

A Cindy Quickie

Tonight during scriptures we reached section 89 of the Doctrine and Covenants, which is all about the Word of Wisdom.  We were giving some background to the kids and told them that before this revelation was received, many of the church leaders smoked pipes and used chewing tobacco. To this Cindy mused, "And we wonder why they're all dead." I love that girl.

A Flippin' Sweet Cindy Quickie

Today after church Cindy came home with two pieces of craft lace and wanted me to show her how to make a boondoggle. After trying a few times, I had to look up a YouTube video to remind me how to weave it. Cindy was growing impatient with my learning curve and finally said, "I thought you said you knew how to make these." I replied, "Not really." And then she said exasperatedly, "But you just said you made infinity of these at Scout camp??!!"

Troll level: Napoleon

I Distinctly Remember My Birthday Was Last Year

Well, 36 sure came fast!  I think I never really planned to be any older than 35. Ever. So this  birthday was kind of a hard one. However, when you really think about it, a lot could happen to you in a year.  Cancer, car accident, severe injury or illness, dancing in the Super Bowl as a shark- yes there are thousands and thousand of ways you could not make it to your next birthday. All of which I am going to tell you about right now.... In all seriousness, every birthday really is a reason to celebrate.  I might be getting way past the oldest I ever wanted to be, but I'm still here.  And I can't really be sad about that. 

Besides, I deal with my mid-life crises pretty well.  Last year for my birthday we were on a boat.  A cruise ship, in fact.  This year, we were driving boats.  And don't tell Jacob, but next year, we're going to build a boat!  

We went over to St. Pete to drive some little speed boats out near Fort DeSoto.  

No experience required!  

With high temps just above 70 degrees, we actually did need our jackets.  

And you can see the Sunshine Skyway bridge in the distance behind me.  

We got a little history from our guide about the St. Petersburg area.  Including the little tidbit that these very rare "white pelicans" only come and stay here for two months out of the year.  Who knew?

Don't freak out, but we also saw dolphins.  About three different pods.  Here is the ONE photo out of about 20 I took trying to get a picture of them.

Close...

Closer...

A little TOO CLOSE!!!

And the trip also came with a long lazy tour of the myriads of multi-million dollar homes and condos along Tierra Verde.  

Trivia time!  Which star from the hit 60s TV show MASH lives right on the waterway we passed and has a 40,000 gallon aquarium on which he parks his car??  None other than Jamie "Klinger" Farr.  True story, straight from the mouth of our salty, beach bum guide Scott.

You got a problem with fish tanks?

Sunday I went to my parent's house for presents, cake, and ice cream.

PiYO mat!!!

And also so Grandma could help Luke with his cursive writing.  They aren't teaching it in school anymore, so Luke decided he would just have to teach himself.

Zs are hard!

A Luke Quickie

Yesterday Luke stayed home from school while recovering from a fever and a cold.  I did not have to work so I took him with me when I went to take Jacob some lunch over at his classroom.  As we pulled into the school parking lot, the bell sounded and we waited for the halls to clear out before walking in to meet him.  Luke seemed confused as we waited and he finally asked where we were. I told him that the classroom was right behind us in the main building and we would go in as soon as most of the students were gone.  I guess it had been a long time since Luke visited his dad at school because then he said, "Dad's classroom is in this big building?  Oh, I thought he was still out in his cabin."


Dear School Board,

Please refer to portables as 'cabins' from now on.  I mean, who wouldn't want to learn Algebra in the comfort of a cabin?  No one.

Sincerely,
Jessica Sweeney

Well, That Was Just Super!

Let's face it, there were really only two stories that came out of the Super Bowl on Sunday:  the horrible play call at the end of the game that blew it for Seattle and Katy Perry's halftime show. Well, after scouring the the Internet for over 5 minutes, I have found for your viewing pleasure the best memes celebrating these two events.

(And by the way, the hands-down, best way to watch the Super Bowl is along with Twitter.  Being a part of the world's largest live smart aleck focus group is immensely entertaining.)



Pete Carroll's last minute text...

Darn you, autocorrect!

He was just there so he wouldn't get fined

That Brady- always a jokester!

Throw it, why not?

Ouch

I will say that KP took a lot of flack for having a "boring" halftime show, but in her defense, she was surprisingly modest.  And are Super Bowl halftime shows ever really supposed to be good anyways?? Still, there was plenty to make fun of:

It ain't easy being Cheesy

Who wore it better?

Rim shot!

I knew that looked familiar...

Finally, if you were not aware, there were dancing sharks at one point during her show.  And the "shark on the left" turned out to be horribly out of sync with shark on the right.  Here is the defining moment:


 


And 4 seconds after that happened, MILLIONS and MILLIONS of memes happened and poor #LeftShark became a sensation of epic, unstoppable proportions.

Done.

So "Chemistry Dog" is out, then?

Look deep within your gills

Oh, the feels!

Truth.

Preach it, Kevin.

Hey, t-shirts and plush dolls are also available to order!  The Internet does NOT screw around, friends.

Does this come in extra uncoordinated?

This is fintastic. 

Wait, you need a new tattoo idea?

Sharks are forever!!

And then things got even a little....more......awesome?  Weird?

Not the hero we need, just the one we deserve

I'm King of the Internet!!

Well, I could go on for hours with those, but finally, I just want to bring up that no one is really talking about the fact that the Madden 2015 EA video game ran a Super Bowl simulation and got it exactly right.  Exactly right!!  That's amazing.

Nailed it!

My favorite commercial of the night?  None of them were that good, but this one won out in the end.

Seahawks or Patriots?

Okay, fine. If I have to choose one, I guess I will go with the Patriots...