Cindy Takes the Plunge

Well, Cindy is official now! She got baptized and confirmed on Friday night by her dad. It was a wonderful night and I really appreciate everyone that came (and especially everyone that helped me!). Even Cindy's little friend from next door came and that absolutely made Cindy's night :) Here are the few pics I managed to take:

*One highlight of the night I want to mention was Luke falling asleep during the video presentation and then snoring like a chainsaw during the closing prayer. (In his defense he did wake me up at 4:18 that morning telling me about the bad dream he had, so it was pretty much inevitable he would crash at some point...)






If Cindy ever went on trial being accused of being the luckiest girl in the world, this photo would be Exhibit A and the only piece of evidence needed to convict her.









After the baptism Cindy did get to have her friend Maddie over a for a night swim at Grandma Sweeney's. (We actually just wanted to keep Karl and DeAnne up real late so they would be totally wasted for their flight to Utah very early the next morning. That's what grandkids are for, right?)

It's Great to be Eight!

And now for your viewing pleasure, pictures of Cindy "getting her Aunt KaRyn on"...

















She had Krispy Kreme donut cake this morning and will be baptized tonight! I would consider that a pretty good Birthday, no?

You waited for this?

As you may know the supreme court is now reviewing the components and constitutionality of Obamacare. I read and interesting article the other day about all the surprising things they found in the written law. So as a public service, I just want to educate you...


TOP TEN SURPRISES FOUND IN OBAMACARE:

10. Obama's chief medical advisers were Drs. Pepper, Scholl and Seuss
9. All physicals would be required to be done in groups of 4
8. Only treatment allowed for strep throat is Popsicles
7. The 35 stanza rap by Pitbull on page 1255
6. Strangely, it doesn't correctly classify Liberalism as a horrific disease
5. Hospital coverage doubles when patient is wearing a hoodie
4. Little-known provision to raise an extra 13 billion dollars by charging a penny for every time someone says "this sucks"
3. All anesthesia would be replaced with DVDs of speeches by Joe Biden
2. KFC required to release their secret recipe
1. Everything in it

Good times :) Thanks Dad and Dave!

Juggle THIS!

I am working on the top ten list, slowly but surely. (I am babysitting again this week for a friend, so I am not at my computer as much as normal. "As much as normal" meaning 6 hours a day. In a row.) But while I finish that list off, I remembered something I wanted to share. While on our cruise we went to a show featuring the juggling champion of the world. It was pretty funny, the guy was obviously an amazing juggler, but during the course of the show, he gave us some background on juggling competitions and told us that he, himself was the founder of the World Juggling Federation. And he also told us that it was he who was responsible for getting WJF competitions televised live on ESPN. He showed us some YouTube videos to prove it, but he also showed us one of a new 'sport' he created, which is essentially a cross between juggling and tennis or football or something??? I think the entire audience on the cruise was confused and trying to decide if this video was a spoof that was part of his act or if it actually was a real event that is put on ESPN. Well, here is the proof: it is real. And awesome.

Off to Fight the Hottentots

You know what I love? Well, lots of things, really. Mini colanders, peanut butter on graham crackers, how whenever anyone insults Obama an angel gets its wings...But I digress! What I really love is hearing a certain line being sung in the movie Mary Poppins. Who else thinks it's awesome when Mrs. Banks, while robustly singing about women's voting rights, says the immortal phrase: "Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they're rather stupid." Eh?? It gets me every time! And it also proves once again that you could get away with anything in the 60s. Those really were the good old days.

Really?!

It's a good thing I didn't rip out all my pineapple plants on account of I thought they were only good for catching acorns. I just happened to notice this little guy outside yesterday. Crazy, huh?

Cattitude

I have noticed that much like sun and sand, ebony and ivory, Nutella and bacon or even Brian and Kelly, cats (wearing tiny human clothing) and the Internet are a match made in heaven. I came across this ad and just had to share. I do love the last 3 seconds...





And by the way, this cat is exactly what my cat Yoshi has turned into. And I don't even try to water her or put her in fancy water repellent jackets, so what's up with the attitude, huh?

Permission Slap

If I ever start talking nonsense this fall about how my favorite time of year in Florida is Novemberish, I give you permission to slap my face and tell me to quit lying. Because really and truly I think my favorite time of year in Florida is actually March. Maybe this year was the perfect storm because of the insanely mild winter and the earliness of Daylight Savings, but I just can't hardly stand how gorgeous it is here right now. The mornings are pleasant, the evenings are cool and last forever, the breeze is constant - and my banana palm just made bananas! It's like some sort of magical Shangri-la. Or maybe it's just that I workout constantly in this weather and therefore I appreciate it's exercise-friendly nature. Whatever the reason, it will probably end any second now and give way to the most disgusting weather imaginable, but for now, I am making a mental note: I love March. The End. Or maybe I need to move to Hawaii. The End.

And now for something completely awesome...

TOP TWELVE WAYS HOME DEPOT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF IT WERE RUN BY RACCOONS:

(Okay, that topic probably caught you a little off-guard, so I will explain. The other night I was at a McDonald's right next to a Home Depot, and while I was sitting there, Cindy spotted a raccoon lurking around the garden department. And then this top ten list was born :)


Once again...

TOP TWELVE WAYS HOME DEPOT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF IT WERE RUN BY RACCOONS:

12. All merchandise displayed on picnic tables
11. Free rabies shot with any purchase over $300
10. Store no longer sells coolers
9. Mission statement now includes phrase, "The customer is always right (Unless he has an attitude and then you can claw his eyes out.)"
8. Customer service would improve 13%
7. Break room and dumpster would be combined into one convenient location
6. Store now only open between the hours of midnight and 4 in the morning
5. All garbage cans no longer sold with lids
4. They can recommend the best chimney based on price, durability and number of viable escape options
3. All orange vests replaced with orange masks
2. Employee of the month is always a guy named Bandit
1. More sneaking, More stealing. That's the Power of the Home Depot.

A Cindy Quickie

A few weeks ago I was out with my parents and Cindy. We decided to get some dinner and we went into a very sketchy looking Long John Silver's. When we got inside the line was very long, people were standing around, there was one very unpleasant looking woman at the register and there was complete silence coming from the kitchen. It did not look good. Finally we all kind of looked at each other and silently gave a nod that we were quietly going to turn around and leave. Cindy did not get the memo, however, because as we were trying to discreetly leave she loudly rang the bell that announced to everyone that we had received great service. The definition of irony, ladies and gentlemen...

I Find Your Lack of Sleep Disturbing

Is there anything cooler than going to bed at night inside Darth Vader's helmet? I think not.

Pop (Cruise) Quiz!

In order to try and not make showing you my vacation pictures totally excruciating (too late), I have put them together in a lovely quiz format for you to enjoy. So sharpen your number two pencils and don't forget to blacken the oval completely on your answer sheets, because here it comes, ready or not!


As we were leaving Port Canaveral, I was:

a. reveling at how glamorous I am
b. flaunting my amazing hair
c. having Jacob think it was hysterical to take pictures of me when I was completely not ready


This chair underneath muster station number 8 is where:

a. I sat for three hours trying not to throw up from being seasick on Friday night
b. I met my drunk Indian boyfriend
c. both a and b


My choice for breakfast the next day shows:


a. Just how much I love cereal
b. That I had happily recovered from my seasickness and was feeling hungry
c. I am a logical human being with reasonable limits


Jacob's choice of breakfast food the next day proves:

(yes, miso soup with seaweed)

a. he accidentally went to breakfast in the Japanese restaurant
b. he apparently had not eaten in 3 weeks and would therefore eat anything
c. he's mentally unstable

As we came in to the port in Nassau I was thinking:

a. I'm living in the wrong place
b. The water is SO BLUE!!
c. I wonder if anyone would notice if I accidentally missed the boat and never came home...



Jacob was thinking....



a. Wow, Nassau is pretty cool looking
b. I can't believe I'm not in America anymore!
c. How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over that island...


These signs on the Nassau #10 jitney/bus:


a. show that Bahamians have a good sense of humor
b. show that Bahamians have some very bad habits
c. inspired Jacob to make new signs for his classroom



I saw this shop:


a. In Geneva
b. In Zurich
c. In downtown Nassau.....which makes perfect sense



I chose to visit this zoo while in Nassau because:


a. It was highly rated on tripAdvisor.com
b. I wanted to feed apple slices to parrots right out of my hand
c. Jacob and I wanted to walk through a neighborhood down a long street in a foreign country and feel like we could be mugged at any moment because there was not a soul around for miles


Jacob took this picture:


a. to show that I am good with birds
b. to prove that I wear that green shirt all the time
c. as an excuse for me to show off my guns


Jacob finally got a parrot to land on him by:


a. holding the apple up in the air instead of flat on his hand
b. threatening the bird's family
c. using The Force



On a scale of one to ten expressing enjoyment, Jacob looks like he was where on the scale when taking this picture?


a. 2
b. 1
c. a number so low mathematicians have not yet calculated it


The best part about standing in the ocean was:


a. I was on foreign sand for the first time in my life
b. the water was cool and refreshing
c. It put a good 50 yards between us and most of the crazy weirdos on the beach


In this picture Jacob is eating:

a. a bowl of exotic melted cheeses
b. a Marie Callendar's mini pot pie
c. Escargot drenched in butter and garlic sauce (yes, I had some too - not bad!)

I got to steer the ship for the captain because:

a. he was busy judging the belly flop contest at the pool
b. he knows I watch a lot of SpongeBob Squarepants and am totally qualified
c. he left the wheel unattended and so what was I supposed to do, hmm?



The view of the inside of the ship looking down from deck 9 shows:

a. they really love stairs
b. they really love brass
c. they really love any opportunity to make more money off you


This towel animal that was carefully crafted and then left hanging from our ceiling in our room from housekeeping had which effect on me:


a. made me smile
b. made me laugh
c. scared the crap out of me when I went down to the room by myself and Jacob did not warn me ahead of time


I am showing you this picture of our room solely for the purpose of:


a. showing you how neat and tidy Jacob and I are when we travel
b. educating you on what a handicap accessible room looks like on a cruise ship
c. making Kelly and Brian crazy jealous because our room had a COUCH!!!

OK, just one more of our bathroom for Bri and Kell :)


BOO-YAH!



Jacob wanted to make it to the top of the rock wall:

a. to get a great view of the ocean
b. to see how Obama feels (you know, always looking down at people)
c. to ring the bell to show he got great service at Long John Silver's


After taking this cruise with Jacob I realize:



a. I love Jacob and he is a good sport
b. I definitely want to take another cruise
c. P90X Round 2 Starts Monday :)

Tuesday Trivia

Well, it's Tuesday (apparently) so here's the top ten! Okay, it's not exactly my usual top ten, but I need to download a few thoughts from the weekend and this is probably the least painful way to do it. Humor me.


TOP ELEVEN THINGS I LEARNED ON MY CRUISE:

11. There are some very, VERY unfortunate tattoos in this world.
10. While there are many women in this world that would not dare put on a bikini in public in their present physical condition, there is another very, very LARGE majority of women who apparently don't care. At all.
9. There is a law irrevocably decreed in heaven that you cannot work on a cruise ship and be a white American.
8. The long lost twin of everyone you know can be found on a cruise ship (For example, I saw the twin of Brooke Towns, Christina Spafford, of my college roommate Jen, Moe the bartender from The Simpsons and Natalie from The Facts of Life
7. Be nice to all cruise ship employees. The bouncer at the club could later be your waiter at dinner and then the guy fastening your harness on the rock wall and then working the front desk, or the guy playing the drums in the calypso band by the pool at sunset. You can't escape them.
6. It is utterly shocking that Budweiser has not built their own cruise ship by now. It seems like a no-brainer.
5. The guy who invented Dramamine should have his own postage stamp or at least a golden bust at every pharmacy. He completely saved my vacation!
4. If the magical Internet offers you the option of a handicap accessible room when booking a cruise- TAKE IT! The cruise Gods are smiling on you.
3. Drunk guys will still hit on girls who tell them they are married and celebrating their 11th anniversary on the cruise with their husband
2. The national bird of the Bahamas is the Flamingo, even though it is not native to the country. What? I enjoy a good fun fact just as much as anyone.
1. Jacob enjoyed this cruise an additional 29% simply by the fact that all the ship lingo and jargon mirrored that of the Star Trek Enterprise. (Captain, quarters, engineering, decks, bridge, docking, registry, being chased by the Romulans out of the delta quadrant using evasive maneuvers...) We were disappointed however that there was no actual red alert system :( Just a goofy tone that sounded like the captain was going to tell you to put on your seat belt. Sigh....

We even found Ten Forward! Nice work Ensign Sweeney :)

A Change in Lattitude

So actually over the weekend, I FINALLY went on a cruise :) Jacob and I took the plunge and left on Friday to the Bahamas. I didn't really tell anyone about this; I kinda wanted to be off the map for a few days (and that part was amazing!). We just got back this morning and I think I might need a few days to get rid of the rocking back and forth feeling. A full write-up will be coming soon (featuring the limited pictures I managed to take) if you care to see what it was like, but in the mean time, I have to go run 71 miles to work off all the food I ate...

Eleven

To a Tee

I came across a website this morning selling some pretty funny t-shirts that I had never seen before. I would wear any of these:

(P.S. I don't own any of these pictures or the artwork, they came directly from www.bustedtees.com and if you visit the site, proceed with caution, not everything is clean...)