How I Know the World is Going to End Soon

My friend Maggie took this picture of her children at Sam's Club the other day. Yes, they are actually sitting in the horrifically goofy Brobdingnagian Chair I saw in SkyMall Magazine. They actually sell this at Sam's Club. I don't think I can shop there anymore. IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! WHAT DOES THIS CHAIR ACCOMPLISH?? NOTHING! Okay, okay, I had to get that out of my system one more time. I'm done now. No more ranting about the chair. And for what it's worth, Maggie did say that there were two people after them that sat in the chair just to get their picture taken. I rest my case.

Before the 30 days begin...

I just wanted to post a few pictures on here. These are the rest of the family pictures we took before Brian and Kelly's reception. And also some pictures from the reception itself. They need to make it into the blog book, so here they are in completely random order:

Luke and Addie are a match made in heaven. Exactly the same age so they pretty much could entertain each other forever.











Me, Molly and Wy-guy


Dave just can't help it


Chris, Wyatt and my mom. Chris can't help it either.

One day Wyatt, you will have awesome fauxhawk hair just like Uncle Brian.

Sista, sista!

Oh, Brother!

Close to normal as we get

Steak and Shake would be proud to have you, Luke.

Okay, that is more like it.

Classic Luke pose. We were all laughing so hard at whatever the heck he was trying to do there.

Even Uncle Chris tried to do "the Luke".

Just had to show off the awesomely giant flower centerpiece thingy I made. Yay for trying things and hoping they work :)

I'm sure I forgot to mention a whole bunch of things about the reception, but it went great and the food was excellent. Kelly and Brian got some very generous gifts and Kelly's parents had a good first visit to Florida too. Lots of work, but good memories.

This will require everyone's help

I hear this from some of you out there from time to time: "I was reading your blog and tried to make a comment on it, but then it asked me for something weird and I didn't understand what to do." ("some of you" = my mom) Okay, we need to fix that problem. I got a pretty good 30 day blog project coming up around the corner and I need everyone to comment in order for it to not be totally lame. SO, yes, in order to leave a comment you have to have a Google ID or another ID that is from some other Internet place thingy. If you haven't got one, get one! How, you might ask? What am I? A detective? Actually, I think you just have to create a Google email account or something, but I don't think you even ever have to use it for anything else. Ok, glad I could clear that process up for you :) So let's all start practicing and leave me some comments on here like, "Roger Dodger!" or "10-4" or "Yeah buddy!" or "Why do we have to do this?" and things like that. Like I said, it will be lame without your input, so you have til Wednesday. Go Team Sweeneyville!

Backblogging 101

And now for your viewing pleasure....

Pictures I Haven't Shown You Yet!

Rosa has officially been "hudged", which means we got a hutch for the back patio so she will stop chewing everything to pieces out there. Even after we have corrected her, Cindy still calls it a "hudge" and actually, I prefer that word 2 to 1 over hutch. Try it! It's much more fun.


The week before Brian and Kelly left on their cruise, they went to a wedding reception here for a friend (one which I happened to be DJing). So for this occasion Aunt Kelly very kindly curled Cindy's hair with a curling iron- something I am completely inept at- and this was the result:



I am not sure Cindy was this happy ever in her life. Oh, Aunt Kelly you are even cooler than before! If that is even possible :)


Yay for cousins!



Okay, so finally, finally I got to see Elder Sweeney's postcard collection. They were so cool! Of all the mail he got, this was the little collection that he is going to keep forever. Awesome!




First Day of School 2010



I thought I would be the cool Mom by suggesting that Cindy could wear her high heels the first day of school. It was only a half day and I figured, why not? Because when she gets out of the car an administrator will tell me that they are not compliant with the dress code, that's why not. Good grief! She still wore them anyway ;)


And just so you know I wasn't kidding about the Star Wars infatuation...



This is the first photo in a collection in which Luke falls asleep with different Star Wars action figures. I already have more than this :)

Seriously?

Yesterday morning I discovered a giant dead mouse with a tail as long as a jump rope in my garage. Funny thing was I could not tell why it was dead. Its eyes were open and it only looked like something had jumped out and scared it to death. A cautionary tale for my family concerning my mother, I have to say. But I digress. So the thing laid there all day long. I was waiting for Jacob to come home and see it and then dispose of it. (Secretly I was hoping that it might be alive after all and it would disappear at some point.) I was on the laptop in the other room when I heard Jacob get home. He came in and said, "Ummmm, Jessica?" I didn't even look the other way and just said, "The mouse? I know!" and then I heard a giant squeal and thought he had brought it in because it was really alive!!! But then I realized he brought home a kitten! In a basket! And I was completely baffled! He said it was homeless, some kids had found it all the school all alone and they needed someone to take it or find it a home. And Jacob volunteered. I was stunned! So now I guess we have another cat.



It's a girl, we know this because Cindy looked at its face and said, "yeah, it's definitely a girl." Thank you, doctor. Anyway, it has got to be very young, or very runty. Yes, that's a word, I checked it myself. It cries like a maniac. We introduced it to Yoshi, who seemed mildly interested but only for about 20 seconds. At least there was no hissing!





We also gave the cat a bath, and unless we knew better, this cat LOVED the bath. It didn't make a sound. It didn't even shake or try to get away. It sat there with a dreamy look on its face that said, "Oh, yeah, make sure you get that spot on the back of my head. This is the life!" Strange! The kids are 100% obsessed kitten robots now. Up at 6:15am to play with it. And Cindy just showered and dressed for school and it is 7:10am. Utter awesomeness! Her working name is Cookie, but it may not stick.

So here are the...

TOP TEN REJECTED NAMES FOR OUR NEW KITTEN:

(All except number ten were written by Cindy completely by herself! And number one just makes me die with laughter. I think her top ten future is bright, my friends :)

10. SpongeCat Whiskerpants (I was really pulling for this one)
9. Princess Leia
8. Prizm
7. Queen Amidala
6. Belle
5. Fifi
4. Mary Poppins
3. Lenny
2. Stormtrooper
1. Lickers

Say Uncle!

So much to blog about, so little time! We will start here:

So last week on Wednesday, the infamous Elder Sweeney returned from his mission! And last Saturday I started to feel like Sean needed some sort of welcome home festivities. I was pretty sure he would not be expecting anything and we would definitely have the element of surprise on our side if we could pull somethng together. Plus, I realized he would be arriving home at about the exact same time as mutual was happening for the youth in our ward- SO adding all this up I came to the conclusion that Sean needed a Welcome Home brigade along Lakeland Highlands Road and then through his neighborhood. Then we could all meet back at the house for an instant Open House and Sean would just love all the attention. Right, Sean? Anyway, we have such wonderful ward members and youth and leaders who completely helped out and volunteered willingly to stand on the side of the road and wave signs at Sean. I have some video and I am making a really sweet montage for Sean, and one day you will see that on Facebook. But for now, here are a few pictures:

I made a whole bunch of signs and had volunteers strategically placed all along the road home. My parents were first to meet him on the Lakeland Highlands exit off 570. He was surprised all right! I burned the theme music from The Rocketeer and had them put that in the CD player as well. Music just makes everything better, in my opinion.


Here are the Bailey's at the corner of Clubhouse and Lakeland Highlands. I also had the help of Trevor Salisbury, Jarred Weggeland, Scott Miller, Shane Nelson, Sheryl Weldon and kids, The Williams family and then also...


Tammy Holmes and children too. Again, THANK YOU!!!

Cindy made this sign herself, Super Sean- she was sooooo excited! This was at the front gate to the neighborhood. The entire youth group (boys and girls) were lined up all the way to his house. It was perfect :)


A happy reunion!


Luke needed a little more convincing ;)


I thought of what to write on his cake at about 4 in the morning. I can't just write, "Welcome Home" on it, this is ME we're talking about here...


There were actually a TON of people waiting to have cake and say hello to the latest RM. It was so great!

Cindy thought of this herself! I couldn't think of just what to have the signs say and she told me, "Mission Accomplished". I was so impressed until she told me she got the idea from Call of Duty on Xbox where "they say that all the time." Oh, brother!

Anyway, it was so fun to have Sean come home, his homecoming talk was fantastic and I know he will have a rockin' time out at BYU. We will miss him! Cindy is counting the days until Christmas :)

Anatomy of a Run

I know I told many of you this story in person, but I need to include this on my blog for my posterity. Future generations need to know how I competed in an indoor triathlon at my local Rec Center last Saturday and how during the swim, which was last (thank goodness), the guy in the lane next to me threw up while swimming, thus effectively shutting down the pool for the next 8 hours and pretty much ruining the triathlon. I even got to see him upchucking over the side of the pool. Rookies, sheesh! Anyway, I did get to do the bike and run portion, which were on a stationary fancy-pants bike and a treadmill, respectively. I got to be on each for 20 minutes to see how much distance I could cover. And whattayaknow?! I came in FIRST overall for the ladies! Can I get a woot woot!? Thanks :)

In a related story, I ran around Lake Hollingsworth the other night and I thought I would share with you some of the thoughts that go through my mind during those thirty minutes or so. It usually goes something like this....

Minute 1: I got this, no problem.
Minute 2: Eyes on the prize, Sweeney. Pace yourself...
Minute 4: This was the dumbest idea I've ever had.
Minute 7: Seriously, I could be home watching Spongebob right now
Minute 9: I think that guy was checking me out....
Minute 11: I seriously can't breathe and my chest is going to explode.
Minute 12: I'm 99% sure my chest is going to explode.
Minute 15: How on earth have I ever run arond this entire lake without stopping?
Minute 17: I wonder where that lady got those roller blades...
Minute 18: Wow, I gotta be faster than that 80-year-old man with a walker, run like you mean it, Sweeney!
Minute 20: Backstreet Boys remix? Oh, it's ON!
Minute 21: I should run a half marathon someday!!!
Minute 22: I should run a half marathon tomorrow!!
Minute 25: Sprint to the end! Work it, Sweeney!!
Minute 27: VICTORY!
Minute 30: Okay, I'm glad I did that :) Now I'll watch some Spongebob...

A Brian Quickie

I drove my brother Brian and his wife Kelly all the way out to Port Canaveral on Monday for their honeymoon cruise. I picked them up at about 9:30am and Brian was telling me about how little sleep he had gotten the night before because he was so worried about making sure that every detail concerning their trip was taken care of. As we were driving on the Polk Parkway toll road, we passed a large sign that said, "Your Tax Dollars at Work." Right after we passed the sign Brian started laughing really hard and he said to me, "Wow, I must be really tired because I totally thought that sign said, "Your Toddlers at Work." That's just how we roll in Florida, okay? When we say everyone needs to get a job, we mean it.

A Cindy Quickie

We went to a wedding reception last night up at the church. Since I was the DJ, Cindy and I were there for almost three hours. Finally, at the end of the night, the lights came up, chairs were being folded, tables were being put away, and Cindy came to find me and said, "So what's next?" I said, "What do you mean?" She asked me, "Well, so now do we all go to the wedding girl's house and watch them open their presents or what?" She was just a tad bit disappointed when I told her we just got to clean up and go home. I don't think she understands that getting to see Brian and Kelly open their presents was a rare opportunity and not the standard routine for these occasions :)

Oh blessed day!

Let it be known that on Friday, August 13th at approximately 8:30pm, Luke uttered the immortal words,

"I don't want to watch Care Bears, I want to watch Star Wars."

It's just so wonderful! If only Jacob were here at this moment to celebrate with me...



And just because this is hilarious and it involves Luke's beloved Stormtroopers:

Biscuit Battle

Spontaneity got the best of Jacob and I earlier today, so we hopped in the car and decided to try biscuits from three fast food places and declare a winner. I am just as surprised as you are, my friend. Here is what we got:

(Sorry, no actual pictures. Spontaneity is the enemy of preparedness.)

Contestant #1- KFC



I have eaten biscuits from KFC about a thousand times, but we needed to be thorough! I liked the overall flavor, but their biscuits are a little heavy. It needed to be more like me; flakey.

Contestant #2- Church's

Continuing to prove our thoroughness, we then went to Church's chicken in North Lakeland, a place that white people usually don't venture. But, it was well worth it. I had had their biscuits only once before, with my dad in a similar attempt to get great chicken and not get shot at the same time. Those biscuits are much lighter, have crispier edges, and have some sort of mysterious sweet glaze stuff on the top that makes them totally delicious without any butter. And the chicken nuggets the kids got were mighty tasty!

Contestant #3- Popeye's


I really don't think I have ever eaten at Popeye's before. There is one just up the road from Church's, so we ordered three and they were not half bad. They are very similar to the KFC biscuit, only flatter, perfectly round, and incredibly salty. If I didn't have high blood pressure before I ate those, I do now.


So the winner would have to be Church's, then Popeye's, then KFC. It really is a shame there is not a Church's chicken somewhere closer. And safer. And next to a police station. Overlooked by a Mormon temple. I would eat there all the time :)

Over already?

As school starts next week, Summer 2010 is pretty much officially in the books. I have to say, it was spectacular. Having Jacob around was fantastic :) We spent tons of time with the kids, we relaxed, we accomplished many of our long-shelved house projects, we watched movies, played xbox (do I really even have to say that one?), went out to eat, played xbox, watched a ton of soccer and generally just had a three month long vacation. Teaching sure has its good points. Of which a large salary is not one, but I digress.... And just to put an exclamation point on my summarization, here is a lovely visual aid you will need to click on to read, unless you have a magnifying glasses for eyes.

WHAT MADE MY SUMMER SO AWESOME
(IN CONVENIENT PIE CHART FORM)

What to blog about when you can't think of anything...

Nothing super amazing is going on right now that is really blog-worthy. Well, besides how that meteor hit my Honda last night... So when I hit a lull, the experts of the blogging world suggest to write about a picture that is worth a thousand words. Lucky for you I just happen to have one from a story I saw online a while back! (I take the Scout motto very seriously since becoming a merit badge counselor.) Anyway, the news story was on Yahoo and it was about Microsoft and some new lawsuit that was being filed against them. It was nothing out of the ordinary and like most online stories, there was a standard picture that went with it right at the top. It was a picture of the Microsoft sign at its HQ in Washington. Nice and normal, right? But the picture also included a jogger from 1988 in tiny shorts running in front of the sign.



So you are telling me that of all the pictures of the Microsoft sign in the entire online universe, Yahoo felt this one was the best they could do for a prominent front page story? I like to think there was a lowly copy editing peon somewhere that had a good laugh over that one. And that he got promoted the next day.

A Quickie with a touch of Irony

How ironic is it that yesterday's post was about little boy underwear, and today I realized only moments ago while putting on his pajamas, that all day long Luke wasn't wearing any? Three cheers for getting dressed all by yourself!

You know what I love?

Well, lots of things, really. Like, eating raw cookie dough, when celebrities go to prison, AFV montages, and opening a new can of tennis balls, just to name a few. But what I was actually referring to in this specific post was this:




Little boy underwear. It's just so dang cute!

Top Ten Rejected Twilight Cereals

Personally, I am shocked they don't actually already have Twilight cereal. I mean, are the marketing and PR people over at Summit Entertainment in a coma? Anyway, I was meaning to finish writing this list back in May so I would have it ready for when Eclipse opened up, but it got away from me. UNTIL NOW!

TOP TEN REJECTED TWILIGHT CEREALS

10. Volturi-Os
9. Unlucky Charms, now with New Moons!
8. Love Bites
7. Sparkly-comb
6. Cullen Crunchies
5. La Pusharoos
4. Honey bunches of Wolves
3. Team Fiber!
2. Frosted Forks
1. Jaspersnaps

(Do you get #1? Because Jasper "snaps" and attacks Bella in New Moon? Oh, man that was clever...Good thing I write these mainly to amuse myself :)