A Riddle

What do you get when you cross Twilight and soccer?

Awesomeness.

The Curse of the Black Stars

I am sure you heard the very depressing news about the US Soccer team at the World Cup today. We lost to Ghana. Again. And were eliminated from the World Cup. Again. By Ghana. Again. Even though we are ranked way higher than them. Seriously, we are cursed when it comes to those guys! I believe it. But, I took it upon myself to contact the team and do a little research about what went wrong today. And based on my findings, here now for you are the


TOP ELEVEN US SOCCER EXCUSES FOR LOSING TO GHANA

11. Thought that when playing below the equator the lower score wins
10. Ghana has developed a mysterious weapon called "offense"
9. Ummmm...volcanic ash?
8. Team spent the previous evening hanging out with the Los Angeles Clippers
7. They lost the ball in the sun
6. Due to the failing economy, US could only bring 7 guys
5. Turns out that you actually do need more than “heart” to win
4. Oh calm down, it's best of 7
3. Are you kidding? A victory parade back in the states in July would be way too hot
2. "Ghana was kicking us in the shins and stuff!"
1. Landon had to leave early to be on Letterman

***BONUS Excuse I just thought of that is too good to waste: "Thought it was like tennis where you have eleven hours to pull out a win"


AND When I started to write this Top Ten list, Cindy was at my side at the computer and I said out loud, "Okay, what are the excuses why the USA lost the soccer game today?" and Cindy piped up with her own top 4 list. Enjoy!

CINDY'S TOP FOUR US SOCCER EXCUSES FOR LOSING TO GHANA

4. "They were not good players"
3. "They didn’t score enough"
2. "They were not awesome"
1. "Because the other team was goodder than them"

And incidentally, Monday's Family Night lesson will be Sarcasm and the Written Word, Part 1- as well as The Correct Use of Adjectives.

It's a Sign

Today marked the end of group play for the World Cup- which means the field of 32 teams has officially been narrowed to 16. And I noticed something pretty interesting about some of the teams.

Of the 16 teams to advance, included are....

Japan
Where my father-in-law served his LDS Mission











Paraguay
Where my father served his LDS Mission











Uruguay
Other country where my father served his LDS Mission







Chile


Where my brother, David, served his LDS Mission







Germany


Where my brother, Chris, served his LDS Mission








Spain



Where my brother Brian served his LDS Mission








USA










Where my husband Jacob, brothers-in-law (Nathan and Sean), and Sister-in-law (KaRyn) all served their LDS Missions.








The only countries missing are that of Peru and Ecuador, where my brother-in-law Robert and his wife Brooke served their LDS Missions, respectively. But since neither of those countries even have a team at the World Cup this year, it doesn't affect the overall record. Nanner, nanner.

Pretty cool though, huh? So far there has only been one game where there was a direct face-off, and Spain beat Chile 2-1. Sorry, Dave. (But Chile did score that goal while playing a man down, which was quite impressive.) So who is going to go all the way? Any of these teams? My bracket has Brian and his beloved Espana winning the whole thing, but if it were based on a real life soccer face-off of all my family members, the winner would definitely be

In the words of Junie B. Jones...

WOWEE-WOW-WOWZERS! I cannot believe my little eyeballs. Today's World Cup Soccer game, USA v. Algeria, was absolutely one for the history books. I can't really sum up adequately the emotion of this game, but it is sufficethly lame to say that the US won in the 91st minute of play. There were only 94 minutes in the game total. Had they tied or lost they were eliminated from the tournament. Unbelievable! Finally, it is paying off to be a fan of US Soccer!

AND, Is it just me or....

Does US Head Soccer Coach Bob Bradley


Look just like Clint Eastwood?



And even more curious, He went ahead and made my day!

You're called what?

Wow, you know you are having a good summer when you have to ask yourself "What day is it?" at least twice a day. This is how I have felt all week! And the main reason is the World Cup. I have been completely and totally sucked in. It's not that I didn't know I like to watch soccer- which I genuinely do, I don't just tolerate it for Jacob or feel obligated to be interested, I really love watching it- it's that I have been watching almost three games a day for over 8 days now and I find myself getting really into the stories of the teams, the nations, the players, rivalries, etc. (And also since I found out that Univision shows every game on a broadcast channel I get at my very own house, well, the indentation of my backside has been molded into my living room recliner quite nicely :)

One of the thoughts I had the other day while watching was whether or not all these national teams have actual official names or mascots. I didn't really think any of them did. But oh no, my friend- they do! And some of them are flat out awesome. So here are some of the best soccer team names from World Cup 2010:

Australia: The Socceroos (that would also make an excellent Wuzzle in my opinion)
Denmark: The Danish Dynamite (I am picturing some sort of bear claw with TNT in the middle)
Germany: Die Manschaft, which means "The Team" (I'm shocked at their logic!)
Japan: The Blue Samurai (it's easy to not use your hands when their holding a sword)
North Korea: The Chollima, which means "The Thousand-Mile Horse" (Huh?)
Netherlands: The Flying Dutchmen (Spongebob would be so proud)
Serbia: The White Eagles (not bad, but Nigeria has you beat)
South Africa: Bafana Bafana (mee, my mo man-uh, Ba-faaaaan-uh!)
New Zealand: The All Whites (I thought that was BYU basketball's team name...)
Cameroon: The Indomitable Lions (we just don't use that adjective enough anymore)
Algeria: The Desert Foxes (The Desert Fox sounds like some sort of African Robin Hood, doesn't it?)

And my personal favorite:
Nigeria: The Super Eagles (In your face, Serbia!)



See what you're missing?! So far in the tournament our dear USA has had two tie games and needs a win versus those sly Desert Foxes on Tuesday. We also need a very lame England team to beat Slovenia this next week. The stars are aligning, but in who's favor? I can't wait to see that for myself :)

Extra! Extra!

The results of the great postcard affair are in! I got an email from Elder Sweeney today and here it is straight from the horse’s mouth:

Well, well, well! Thank you for creating a new holiday! Those postcards couldn't’t have come at a better time. The week was very, very difficult. We had to deal with bed bugs, going to court, food poisoning that lasted a week, no water pressure, no sleep, and just a load of responsibility! So thank you all for making that happen!

I didn’t count exactly, but the assistants said I got over 50 postcards! Me and Sister Lau especially liked the one your dad sent with the classy comments about why the chicken crossed the road according to key Mormon Figures.

They were all just a lot of fun. I loved it. Thank you!

-Elder Sweeney

Have you done any good in the world today? If you sent Elder Sweeney a letter or postcard, the answer is a resounding YES. The bed bug issue he is referring to has been quite the ordeal. I have no personal experience with bed bugs, but I guess in order to eradicate them you pretty much have to throw away everything you own and then set yourself on fire. Or go back in time and be born in a different century. Something like that, anyways...

Again, great job team!! Thanks for your help. And as soon as I get my hands on a copy of that postcard my dad sent, we will all be laughing together. Unless you aren’t Mormon, in which case you will be scratching your head and feeling very confused ;)

Cindy and the Beanstalk

Remember Sweeney's Law #7 about how Cindy can plant a seed pretty much anywhere in the yard and it will grow like a mammoth? Well, here is the visual proof. A while back Cindy planted a whole bunch of seeds all over the place outside. Not just in the garden, but anywhere she thought was good. (Hence, I had snow peas in May growing in my front flower bed.) But she also apparently planted two sunflowers seeds in the front bed as well, and what do you know, despite it being shaded 80% of the day, this one sunflower grew to be an astounding 8 ft 11 inches tall. I am stunned! Cindy acts like it's no big deal, I mean, geez, how hard is it to grow a flower taller than our house, right Mom?

From the World of Futbol

Okay, if you aren’t following the World Cup, well, then just what kind of human being are you? I mean, really, this a cup for the entire WORLD, people!! Get into it! Okay, okay, at least humor me for a moment.
At the World Cup in 1986, the most famous Argentine soccer player ever, Diego Maradona, scored a goal using his hand. Behold Exhibit A.



Despite the obvious rule breaking that this was, the refs did not call the penalty and the goal stood. This has been referred to as “The Hand of God” goal ever since. It’s famous. Really famous. Fast forward to last Saturday when the US played England. England is a soccer powerhouse. The US is, well, not a soccer powerhouse. No one expected us to beat them. (But then again, does anyone ever expect the US to win on the world stage when it comes to soccer? Um, no.) However, the game ended in a 1-1 tie, and it was all thanks to a colossal mistake by the England goalie. Here it is, so you can wince for yourself:



All I could think about after that happened, was
a. The US got so lucky
b. Hey, sometimes you need a little luck
c. That goalie might be found dead in his hotel room by the next morning

And that is no joke! Other countries take the World Cup very seriously. In some countries players have wound up dead after blowing a huge game. Luckily, the goalie is still alive. (so far) Benched, but still alive. However, I knew that the English press would have a field day at this poor guy’s expense and they did not disappoint with their awesome headline the next day:



Ouch! But they get major cool points for tying in another legendary soccer headline while at the same time using the word "clod." That word is awesome and way underused in our society. Let's bring it back. Whattayasay? Do it! Don't be a clod!

The latest...

Because I know you are waiting with baited breath to find out how the last three days of my life have gone, I won't keep you waiting much longer.

Census: I have to work one more week :( Why? Because my super huge cell phone bill doesn't come out until Wednesday and I can't get reimbursed for all the calls if I am not a current employee. OH, BROTHER!

Summer: It is going great! Cindy has only told me three times that she is bored. Ha! So far we have cleaned out our bonus room, been to the movies twice, bought hula hoops, lit off some sparklers and gone swimming. Pretty boring stuff, eh?

Church: I have been writing my talk for tomorrow. Writing a talk is something that usually comes very easy to me, but this one has been very, very difficult! As of right now on Saturday evening, I am just about done. It will be a photo finish :)

Elder Sweeney: I won't really get to hear the results of the massive postcard campaign to Sean until this Thursday on his p-day. But guess what? Friday was his zone conference and the day he gets to go to the office and get his mail. Was that inspired or what?? I can't wait to hear about his experience.

World Cup: What a day today! I was literally nauseous through most of the USA v England game today. This game was huge. The game ended in a tie and we got the luckiest goal in the history of the World Cup, so the Americans are still alive to try and place 1 or 2 in their group. Only Slovenia and Algeria stand in the way. The US doesn't play until next Friday, but there are still three games a day on ESPN to fill the void. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALLLLL!

Exercise: What does that word mean again? I am drawing a blank....

Time keeps on tickin'

As you can see, Cindy has come a long way this year. From her anxious and excited demeanor on her first day of Kindergarten, to this morning, where she shows off her educated bad self. Way to go, Cindy! You survived and thrived in Kindergarden and I couldn't be more proud :)

Be an Elephant!

And don't forget to mail your postcard to Elder Sweeney today!

Elder Sean Sweeney
1974 Sproul Road, Suite 206
Broomall, PA 19008

Here's a pic of the sweet metal postcard I will be sending:


Even though I was going for 'goofy' when I took the picture, I think I got 'awkwardly weird' instead....

In all seriousness, thanks to everyone for your help on this project. I thank you, Elder Sweeney thanks you, Elder Sweeney's mother thanks you, and the lady who is going to sift through all these in the mission office really thanks you :)

GO TEAM SWEENEYVILLE!

TOP TEN REJECTED CENSUS SLOGANS

So I am pretty much wrapping up my work with the Census. I only have 3 people still working at this point- a blessed far cry from the 16 I had at one point in time, and since Jacob and Cindy will officially be done with school next Wednesday, I have decided to be officially done next Saturday. Yahoo! And what am I taking away from this experience you may ask? I will tell you.

1. A nice little nest egg of spending money.
2. A terrifying look into Government-run projects.
3. The desire to not work an actual job the rest of my life.

But most importantly, it has given me reason to write this Top Ten List. And I think we can all agree that the past 8 weeks have been worth it for this little jewel alone.

TOP TEN REJECTED SLOGANS FOR THE US CENSUS

10. Accuracy schmaccuracy!
9. Kickin' butt and takin' names! (No, really, 'cause we take down your name and stuff)
8. Enumerate this!
7. The US Census: Letting your neighbors rat you out since 1790
6. You can count on us to count you twice!
5. Collecting 96% less information about you than Facebook already has
4. You do the math! Because we're a little foggy on that part, actually
3. Two, Four, Six, Eight- hiding in your bushes is really great!
2. Becuase without us, how would you know how many immoral, lying, crooked politicians you need to represent you in the House of Representatives. Hmmmm?
1. We take the 'sense' out of Census

Move over, Census! 2010 is not all about you, okay? It is really all about THIS:



I can't wait!